Rating: 
Summary: A relationship saver every couple should read.
Review: How many times have you heard a wife exclaim, "I cook and clean for that man, and he never appreciates all that I do for him. I'm so unhappy" or the husband grouse, "Hey, I bought her those diamond earrings. I even get her flowers just to show her how much I love her, and she just throws them back in my face saying that I am just trying to buy her love. She keeps carping that I never share my feelings. She just doesn't know love when she sees it." If one partner can speak only Russian and the other only Spanish, is it any wonder that there are communication problems. What is obvious in spoken languages isn't so obvious in love languages. The problem with love language is that the one partner thinks the other is just speaking very poor Russian while the other thinks their partner's Spanish is just terrible. This book is that very important eye opener that every couple should read. It will get them on the road to speaking each others natural language. And they should read it at the beginning of their relationship rather than as a last ditch effort to save it. I give this book as a wedding present to all my friends that get married. There is no better way to help them get a long and happy marriage started.
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Summary: If You Are Married, You Have Got To Read This!
Review: With communication being the number one factor in making relationship work, this is a must read for both spouses. Chapman hits the "nail on the head" as he uncovers the five languages of love: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch Chapman clearly explains each language in a five chapters. Along the way, he includes experiences from real-life couples. After uncovering each language, Chapman uses the next couple of chapters to help the reader discover his or her own love language as well as the spouse's. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years, this book is highly recommended above any other book on marriage. More than likely, a reader will discover they have misunderstood a mate because they were using the wrong language! I'm seeing my mate in completely different light now. :) --- reviewed by Ty for Christian Bookshelf
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Summary: Love and communication
Review: Let me begin by saying that my mate and I are both well at ease with our own and each other's established love language styles. Of course it's difficult to place all the complexities of a person's "relationship style" completely within one of the five love languages cited in this book (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch), but, using these five as a general guideline, my dominant love language is "physical touch", while my mate's is "acts of service". Our relationship functions reasonably well on this basis; if my mate starts moving out of her assigned love language style, as she is sometimes prone to do, I'm usually fairly quick to make sure she gets back into it.
However, despite being quite aware and mostly accepting of our respective love language styles, as recommended in this book, I sometimes suspect that this is not the full picture, and there is perhaps still something missing in our relationship in terms of communication. I'm not sure if perhaps there's something missing from my partner's copy of the book, and she's not fully grasping the issues? Her Spanish edition does seem to have fewer pages than my English copy...
Rating:
Summary: Learn to Speak Your Partner's Love Language
Review: Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love. ~Gary Chapman It is amazing how you will just have learned a lesson and then read it in a book, however, there are many lessons you don't want to learn five years from now. This book is filled with ideas on how you can immediately transform your relationship from a cold grave to a peaceful island resort. Perhaps you want to change your life into an amazing adventure or you want to calm the storms. Gary Chapman presents five love languages. One of these languages may be your primary love language, but he takes it further and explores the dialects of love. I think that many of us want all five languages, but there are various ways each can be expressed. Gary explains the five languages in detail and finally you will understand why some people don't respond to your gifts and others go wild with happy kitten joy. When you meet someone who shares your primary language it can feel like you have entered a magical country where everyone is speaking your language. For some individuals, "words of encouragement" will be much higher on their list than "the show of love through gifts" or "acts of service." I had trouble deciding which language was my favorite, but I know I get a bit happy when I receive gifts. However, I noticed that I never complain about not receiving gifts. Gary actually made it easier to figure out when he started to talk about what you complain about most. I normally say: "You are not listening to me." While I enjoy gifts, I'm never demanding in this area. So then I considered "Quality Time." Bingo, I was very concerned about "Quality Conversation." There is definitely "bliss" in "sympathetic dialogue." This is actually a rare thing indeed. When you talk to people, most of the time they are more worried about what they are going to say next and when you find someone who actually listens to what you are saying and responds in a way that makes you feel understood, that is bliss. So, I was very happy to have discovered my primary love language and I also figured out why people in my life don't always respond to gifts in the way I think they would. Some do and they will be getting more boxes of homemade cookies, for sure. ;) Gary does bring out various aspects of love that make you realize that love is not just a happy feeling of infatuation. It was interesting to read about how long the initial bliss stage lasts in most relationships and then to read about the decline and divorce rates for first, second and third marriages. There are examples in this book that present great hope for marriages that have grown cold or are on the rocks. Even one partner can read this book and change their relationship. There is a study guide at the end of the book and the questions can be used at home or in a class setting. "The Five Love Languages" is an essential book for marriage counselors, couples and anyone who wants to figure out how their partner responds to various forms of love. ~TheRebeccaReview.com
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Summary: One of the best relationship books I've ever read
Review: Very well put together and easy to read. Not only was it enlightening in terms of how both my significant other and I think and act/react differently to different types of expressions of love and affection in different situations within our relationship, but it also helped me better understand other significant relationships in my life, ie: with family and close friends. One thing that is good about this book is that the author puts things in very plain language, without too much psycho-babble. I'm not affiliated with christianity, but I was impressed with Dr. Chapman's ability to keep his religious beliefs separate from the subject matter at hand. I found it to be a very basic manual for relationships from which anyone, regardless of their religious affiliation or spiritual path, will be able to absorb and digest alot of good information. Also, this information is excellent for both singles as well as couples. If you're in a relationship that is going badly this information can help you turn things around (if you apply it), and if your relationship is already great it can help you keep it that way (or make it even better).
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Summary: A simplified guide to communication
Review: Gary Chapman has an easy-to-read writing style. In this book he claims that we experience one of the five love languages, which is how we best receive love from other individuals. He calls the languages quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The theory is that we easily give from the language we enjoy receiving the most. Relationships can get into trouble when one partner gives from his primary love language, but the other partner has a different primary love language and does not receive it as love. The partner that is giving may feel rejected or like their contribution is not worth much to the other or is unappreciated. In fact, it's due to the way the two different individuals experience "love". Gary Chapman does a good job of explaining each of the five types. Not surprisingly, my husband and I fell into different categories. It's helped us in two ways: 1) to learn to communicate with the other in his or her primary love language,
2) to be able to see when the other person is approaching us with his or her primary language I enjoyed this book and it has had a positive impact on my relationship.
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Summary: be careful when you read this - it will change your life!
Review: Whilst I am currently single, I have been on a search for a partner this year. In somewhat of a state of confusion in a 2-month relationship, I was recommended this book to help me understand the man I was dating. I was feeling that his "heart wasn't in it" & I couldn't work out how we could be in a relationship without emotional involvement. We both seemed to want the same things. When I suggested that to him, he was terribly hurt as he thought he was acting in a loving manner.
After reading this book, I now know why. We were speaking different love languages & I wasn't receiving what he was sending.
This book has changed the way I think about all of my relationships - intimate, family, friends, even flatmates! I recommend this book to everyone - those married recently, those single, those married for a long time, those with children - in fact, I can't imagine someone not getting something out of this book.
The book is an easy & hugely beneficial read & will no doubt impact your life as much as it did mine.
Enjoy reaping the benefits!
Rating: 
Summary: "Helpful but Unromantic" is right.
Review: I agree with the reviewer who says this book is "helpful but unromantic." I can't express it as well as that review does, but I agree that Chapman is too critical of romantic love. He is also unrealistic about the ability of any two people to create it between them, simply by choice. I read recently the book that review recommends, Solomon's Song of Love, and find, too, that it is a healthier approach to romantic love. I intend to read C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves, too, which was also recommended.
Rating: 
Summary: Helpful but Unromantic
Review: I learned a very practical lesson from this book: I need to love people in ways they will perceive as love. It sounds simple: I don't give a T-bone steak to my six-month old boy, and I don't give books on engineering to my wife, who loves romantic novels. Yet I am often too selfish to learn what really communicates love. The main point of the book is that "real" love is a choice, and when exercising that choice, it needs to be done wisely, by loving someone in the manner ("love language") that communicates love best to that person. And then the feelings will follow, Chapman says, since "feelings follow choice." In contrast, he says, "falling in love" is spontaneous and often irrational. So the only real romantic love proceeds from choices grounded in duty. I call this book unromantic, and do not mean that completely as criticism. Relationships have significant components of work and sacrifice that are not always romantic. But perhaps Chapman has gone too far. He has de-emphasized the romantic aspects of love so much that he has in effect denied what romantic literature for centuries has taught us, and in fact, what the only Biblical book about romantic love teaches us, too: that falling in love is not an irrational response, but a choice and response based on the qualities perceived in the beloved; that it need not be temporary, but can last, in various forms, through a lifetime; and that it is a reflection of the nature of God and also his relationship to us. The Biblical book to which I refer, of course, is the Song of Solomon. The lovers fall in love because of the qualities they perceive in each other, and the completeness they feel together. That is why the Song is filled with so much mutual praise. It is also filled with feelings of wonder and delight. When the lovers of the Song display such delight on their wedding night, the Creator Himself endorses their feelings, encouraging them to celebrate this love and enjoy it. What Chapman disdains, the Creator embraces. Chapman says that falling in love is illusory, unreal because it is spontaneous, not arising from duty. The Song of Solomon shows quite the opposite: that romantic love is a wonderful reality; that spontaneity is part of its beauty; and that devotion arises from love, rather than love from duty. Love gives birth to acts of love like "grace" gives birth to "works" from love. And neither the acts nor works are diminished because they arise spontaneously and joyfully, with all the feelings lovers have always described. Chapman also says that the beginning of romantic love is mostly self-centered, evidenced in part by no concern for the personal growth of the other. But nothing could be further from the truth. "In one high bound," C.S. Lewis writes, "it has overleaped the massive wall of our selfhood. It has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality, and planted the interests of another in the center of our being." Imagine two people with no possibility of a natural attraction between themselves reading Chapman's book. Are they to believe that by following his instructions they can create romantic love for each other --not the love God asks us to show towards all, but the romantic love shared only by two? Will romantic love follow their romantic choices? I like some of Chapman's book, but I like the Song of Solomon better. In the final analysis, it is simply more realistic. It doesn't ask me to believe that any two people, unsuitable or not, have the power to create romantic love for each other, if they so choose. On the contrary, the Song encourages us to patiently wait for its arrival, and the special person with whom we will best experience it. And it suggests that behind my joyful choice of a partner is the Songwriter's choice of a gift; that love finds me as much as I find it. For the distinction between Christian love for all and romantic love shared by two, The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis is helpful. For the romantic aspects of love, Solomon's Song of Love by Glickman is quite refreshing.
Rating:
Summary: Simple Concept
Review: Gary Chapman is 100% correct. The concept is so simple it makes me wonder why I had to read it in a book. As I was reading the book I kept saying "of course" to myself. I have put this on my yearly reading list so I don't forget the vital information Gary Chapman has shared. I have also given this book away many times as a wedding gift.
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