Rating: 
Summary: 32 Flavors and then some
Review: This is not the book for "vanilla" women. I chose it over Felice Newman's The Whole Lesbian Sex Book because it appeared to be more traditional, but I may have been mistaken. This book attempts to be all-inclusive. In some ways, this is not a bad strategy, since it will attract many types of people, but to include everything is to inevitably offend someone, if not several people. For those "vanilla" women, and those who have relatively conservative sexual values, the first edition of this book, which is devoid of Rachel Kramer Bussel's "edgy" revisions is likely to be more appropriate. Unfortunately, the first edition is rare and considered outdated.My argument against several sections of the book is sure to ruffle some feathers because to please everyone is impossible, and this book is an example of that. It shows a rather large inconsistency-it's hard for me to believe that the same book that says sex is sharing the deepest part of yourself with someone else and should be taken seriously can also suggest that casual sex can be "warm, enjoyable, and hot," and that love or any other types of emotions don't need to be present. I'm not comfortable judging people, since I know well how harshly lesbians are judged, but I feel that some significant viewpoints are not touched upon in this work. It claims that many women choose to have sex that is not accompanied by emotions because it is convenient, less time-consuming than "working on a relationship," or they are uncomfortable with anything else because they are survivors of sexual abuse. Immediately, my reaction to this is that people who are uncomfortable with sexual intimacy should opt for waiting until they are comfortable before they share the deepest parts of themselves with others, or if they are after it simply because it's a "quickie" and a convenience, perhaps they should take it more seriously and/or lose the prevalent belief in our society today-we must have what we want right now and waiting it out of the question. Instant gratification wins out over everything else. Parts of this book support and perpetuate this ideal. The book also condones drug use, and I would be surprised if that didn't offend many people. How strange it is that the same book that takes a neutral standpoint on illegal and what some see as immoral activities would actually tell a woman that she should not tell lies to her partner. If the authors want to take a stand on an issue such as honesty, why not take a stand on more important issues, or simply agree to not take any stands at all? As for the writing, it is at some points choppy and inconsistent, much like the messages. It reminds me of a game I played with friends in grade school in which one of us would start a story, write a paragraph or so, then pass it on to someone else who then adds to it with a completely different writing style and different view of the characters and plot. One might think in some places that this tactic was employed in writing this book, because different parts express different beliefs and, in addition different vocabulary words. Granted, the introduction does offer a warning about the "colorful" vocabulary, which is bound to offend many people. Much like the "n" word for blacks, several words used to describe homosexuals once held negative connotations but are being utilized within the gay/lesbian community in a sort of tongue-and-cheek manner that makes them acceptable. When a group of people has struggled so much (and will struggle for years to come) for equality, tolerance, and favorable reception, it seems like a regression to return to the words that were used (and are still used) to wound deeply. All of this may make the somewhat conservative person wonder, is this representative of every lesbian? Please don't go into reading the book thinking this may be the case. I would say that's highly unlikely, since only seven lesbians were interviewed for this book. That's nothing in the face of millions. Though I'm disappointed and wondering at this stage if the vanilla sex book is a laughable oxymoron, I have things to say in the book's defense. More than anything else, the randomly placed photographs are sensual and beautiful. The book has a useful resources section and also offers numerous titles and authors for further reading throughout the text. Finally, one of the criticisms for the book that I've read in more than one review is that it tries to cover too much, and though this may be true in some ways, the idea of a book that discusses cuddling, ice, the Kinsey report, and positions is not over-ambitious in my opinion. They are all related in that they all affect lesbians and their sex lives, but one has to recognize that talking about everything will mean talking about something that will repel people who might enjoy the book otherwise. If you're a newly-out lesbian in search of resources and information, maybe you should look elsewhere, because there are bound to be less-flawed providers.
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