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Man of Steel and Velvet: A Guide to Masculine Development

Man of Steel and Velvet: A Guide to Masculine Development

List Price: $5.99
Your Price: $5.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Some pearls of wisdom, but take this with a grain of salt
Review: After reading reviews praising this book, I thought that just maybe this was the book I have been seeking, one that could be offered to clients of my counseling practice. I specialize in treating clients who desire counseling that is consistent with biblical directives - a Christian world view so to speak. Most of my clients are men, many of whom express a desire to know what biblical masculinity looks like and how to be masculine. When I read the book's back cover statement, "Based on Christian ethics as taught in the Bible...." I became even more optimistic. But that optimism lasted only a few pages into the book.

Mr. Andelin begins with a "no holds barred" statement of the problem in which his zeal for the subject is both visible and honorable. He lays out his plan of showing two contrasting sides of his Christian masculinity, that of strength - steel - and velvet. On page 15 he makes the statement that Jesus Christ "was the epitome" of this masculinity, that "in no area was He lacking." After reading that, my hopes abounded that the rest of the book would show me what this epitome of masculinity looked like but that was the last I read about Jesus. The remaining pages expounded on the virtures of Abraham Lincoln, fictional characters in some of Shakespeare's works, Sir Lancelot, and others including some movie characters. The "epitome" was never again referenced.

So many of the goals of this book are worthy and high, so many of the aspects of Godly masculinity touched upon, that to build his case on less than the "epitome" - even using fictious players - is too low of a shot in my opinion. His use of Bible verses demonstrates very questionable interpretive skills, especially when he confuses descriptive scripture with prescriptive, and when he conveniently cuts some of his Biblical quotes short at just the point where continuing on would call into question or even refute some of his assertions of his view of masculinity.

Without an anchor in accurate Bible teachings he, like many others, presents a stirring collage of biblical and pop psychology beliefs which many times leave the reader emotionally moved but with no clear place to go. One example of this is a paragraph stating that if a man finds himself with a rebellious wife that he just should not stand for it. When you start the next paragraph to find out how the man should act, it is not there. The subject is dropped and the reader is left with what amounts to the Nike slogan "just do it." But do what? Well, without an accurate footing in scriptures, the reader fills in the blank on his own, but isn't that how we got into this trouble in the first place? When biblically accurate teaching is mixed with personal and/or culturally popular ideas, the final product suffers, and those who act on such information are at risk.

For those, like myself, who are looking for that all in all book that reveals the masculine side of Jesus' human nature, I suggest you stay with Doug Wilson's writings, or Chuck Swindoll's book: Man To Man, until it comes along. For those desiring a moving account of the problem, and are looking for some more ideas to play around with which do not need to be biblically sound, this book might fit the bill.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: A soft shot at a hard goal
Review: After reading reviews praising this book, I thought that just maybe this was the book I have been seeking, one that could be offered to clients of my counseling practice. I specialize in treating clients who desire counseling that is consistent with biblical directives - a Christian world view so to speak. Most of my clients are men, many of whom express a desire to know what biblical masculinity looks like and how to be masculine. When I read the book's back cover statement, "Based on Christian ethics as taught in the Bible...." I became even more optimistic. But that optimism lasted only a few pages into the book.

Mr. Andelin begins with a "no holds barred" statement of the problem in which his zeal for the subject is both visible and honorable. He lays out his plan of showing two contrasting sides of his Christian masculinity, that of strength - steel - and velvet. On page 15 he makes the statement that Jesus Christ "was the epitome" of this masculinity, that "in no area was He lacking." After reading that, my hopes abounded that the rest of the book would show me what this epitome of masculinity looked like but that was the last I read about Jesus. The remaining pages expounded on the virtures of Abraham Lincoln, fictional characters in some of Shakespeare's works, Sir Lancelot, and others including some movie characters. The "epitome" was never again referenced.

So many of the goals of this book are worthy and high, so many of the aspects of Godly masculinity touched upon, that to build his case on less than the "epitome" - even using fictious players - is too low of a shot in my opinion. His use of Bible verses demonstrates very questionable interpretive skills, especially when he confuses descriptive scripture with prescriptive, and when he conveniently cuts some of his Biblical quotes short at just the point where continuing on would call into question or even refute some of his assertions of his view of masculinity.

Without an anchor in accurate Bible teachings he, like many others, presents a stirring collage of biblical and pop psychology beliefs which many times leave the reader emotionally moved but with no clear place to go. One example of this is a paragraph stating that if a man finds himself with a rebellious wife that he just should not stand for it. When you start the next paragraph to find out how the man should act, it is not there. The subject is dropped and the reader is left with what amounts to the Nike slogan "just do it." But do what? Well, without an accurate footing in scriptures, the reader fills in the blank on his own, but isn't that how we got into this trouble in the first place? When biblically accurate teaching is mixed with personal and/or culturally popular ideas, the final product suffers, and those who act on such information are at risk.

For those, like myself, who are looking for that all in all book that reveals the masculine side of Jesus' human nature, I suggest you stay with Doug Wilson's writings, or Chuck Swindoll's book: Man To Man, until it comes along. For those desiring a moving account of the problem, and are looking for some more ideas to play around with which do not need to be biblically sound, this book might fit the bill.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Timeless
Review: Andelin really hits home and tells it like it is. The information is not new, but rather things I knew deep down inside which Andelin verbalizes beautifully.

The passages ring true time and time again. Read it more than once. There's too much to take in at once. Just apply the principles to your life one at a time and watch yourself turn into the man you've always wanted to be.

Read it, then read it again.

I feel lucky to have discovered this book early in my marriage. Now my wife is still my queen and sweetheart after 10 years of marital bliss. I hear men complaining their wives and I hear woman say horrible things about the man they walked down the isle with. But we make it a point to build each other up in private and in public. That's rare in society today. I treat her like a queen, and in turn she treats me like a king. And that makes our home a castle.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A must read by all who wish to lead a biblical family.
Review: I have read and used these principles in my own life and found it undeniably more than helpful. With a wife and 5 children, this book was worth more than it's weight in gold to us. Anyone who takes the time to TRULY study and apply biblical principles to this subject, will come away with a better understanding of not only family matters, but also the underlining answers to the majority of the worlds conflicts. Truly a great book.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Must Read for Every MAN Today!
Review: Man of Steel & Velvet needs to be read by every man who call can call himself a man! This book gives a precise outline on why and how to be a Man, husband, father and leader of today. I challenge every male to read this book! Based on Biblical Principles, the same principles this great country of ours was founded on. This book can transform your life and help you to be all that GOD has intended you to be!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Some pearls of wisdom, but take this with a grain of salt
Review: O.k., Gentlemen, listen up: This book contains many pearls of wisdom regarding good business practices and how to be an effective leader/father at home. In an encouraging, refreshing fashion, Mr. Andelin advocates strong male leadership. This is to be found in the section of the book dealing with the aspect of masculinity the author refers to as "The Steel". Also helpful are the author's chapters regarding humility and compassion, which are, in my view at least, the building blocks of the "velvet" aspects of the masculine personality.

But take note: This book contains quotes like "A woman always loves her master" (this master apparently being her husband).

The feministas would, of course, start hyperventilating over that one. Just beware, I don't know of many women who still adhere to this concept, at least not on a conscious level. There are many women out there who do like take-charge, assertive men, and if that's their cup of tea, then so be it. As a man, it behooves you to remember that "governing is by the consent of the governed". Even if you are an independent, intelligent, assertive, overtly masculine man, one must still remember that many modern women value their independence too. As much as women go ga-ga over manly men, in this modern world, they still have the power to determine just how much they will be governed, if at all. A man has power in relationships, and indeed in life, only to the extent that the people he surrounds himself with are willing to give him that power. A woman will decide in her own heart whether or not she sees you as a leader, or sees you as a partner, or, at worst, sees you as a pompous, over-bearing sexist to be ridiculed and ignored.

However, if one practices what this book preaches, particularly in regard to the development of both the steel and velvet qualities, the "worst case scenario" mentioned above should be easy to avoid.

Even if she does see you as an aggressive leader, she will always retain her ability to make own decisions. The choice to put one's faith in another can be altered, or even withdrawn, at any time, for any reason. If a woman does indeed "always love her master", it is because SHE feels that such an emotional state is right and proper. Granted, it helps greatly when the man in question sees himself as a leader, and is willing to accept the initiative and responsibility of dominant, authoritative leadership. Every true leader must realize, however, that individuals decide for themselves whether or not they will be ruled. Mr. Andelin advocates the man asserting his position of dominance and leadership regarding his wife, and making sure she knows that she is to function as her husbands "subordinate helpmeet". Before doing this, I would recommend assessing whether your woman will, deep down inside, rejoice and welcome your new, dominant attitude, or, returning to the "worst case scenario", rebel outright and sue for divorce. Be warned, gentlemen: the courts these days see any man who advocates male dominance as an abuser. Remember that, and you'll do fine. I would not recommend reading this book and then approaching your woman and informing her that from now on, she is to regard you as her master. A heated debate might result, which could lead to legal problems. Ascertain her attitude and plan accordingly.

Read this book if you please, take it under consideration, and then go read some John Locke. Repeat the mantra "Governing is by the consent of the governed! Governing is by the consent of the governed!" and you'll begin to have a deeper understanding of male/female romantic relationships, and indeed, modern society.

If this book has any historic value, it is in the declaration of perceptions that were once widely held but are now considered, at least by modern liberals, archaic at best and mysogynistic at worse. Be careful with this book, gentlemen. Remember what century you are living in. Then, consider your perceptions concerning your woman's system of beliefs. If you indeed want to lead, it is necessary to ascertain whether she wants that, too. (You may wish to note that Mr. Andelin's wife, Mrs. Helen Andelin, authoress of "Fascinating Womanhood", believes that a dominant husband is, amoung other things, exactly what a woman wants. Her opinion is not shared by many feministas.)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Utter nonsense.
Review: Perhaps the most outlandish and misguided book ever published on the subject. Despite an appealing premise, the writer fails to deliver anything resembling a guide for a successful marriage. In its place, we get ultra-conservative hogwash that will surely doom any couple to an unhappy marriage. Indeed, no self-respecting woman will tolerate a husband who accepts Andelin's advice. Written by a dentist, the book recommends a course of action that will prove more painful than a visit to his dental office. This book would make a hilarious read if it were not meant to influence naive young men. Get "Letters to Philip" by Charlie Shedd, or anything else on the subject, instead.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Utter nonsense.
Review: Perhaps the most outlandish and misguided book ever published on the subject. Despite an appealing premise, the writer fails to deliver anything resembling a guide for a successful marriage. In its place, we get ultra-conservative hogwash that will surely doom any couple to an unhappy marriage. Indeed, no self-respecting woman will tolerate a husband who accepts Andelin's advice. Written by a dentist, the book recommends a course of action that will prove more painful than a visit to his dental office. This book would make a hilarious read if it were not meant to influence naive young men. Get "Letters to Philip" by Charlie Shedd, or anything else on the subject, instead.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: This is a book of theory that really works in practice.
Review: Simply put, this is a book that clearly explains the truth about men and women and how to put that truth into practice. I have read it a number of times; I have carefully tried to put into practice what it teaches; I know it works from my own experience. My wife and I have a wonderful marriage, and I believe that using what I've learned from this book has added much to it. Some may disagree, but you can't argue with success.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Timeless
Review: This book gives men the tools to become great Christian fathers and husbands. It recognizes the differences between men and women and provides a systematic method of enriching the necessary relationship between husband and wife and between father and child. The modern world argues that men and women only have a small 'physical' difference but no emotional, psychological, sentimental, temperamental or intellectual differences exist. This book shows clearly that those differences not only exist but are a part of the very nature of the person and can be ignored only to the serious peril of the individual. This book shows how many of today's problems stem from the false notion of identicalness of the sexes. While the sexes are equal, each has it's specific realm or area of expertise that God placed in us. The book shows how to lead the family and how to love your wife and children.


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