Rating: 
Summary: Absolutely Essential
Review: This book is a must for all couples who are dealing with the devastating effects of an affair. Dave Carder looks at the different types of affairs from both sides, giving the spouse insight into the "infidel's" emotions, and vice versa. Reading this book was about the only thing that had a real impact on my husband (who had the affair). Before he read the book nothing and nobody could get through to him. Reading the book won't heal a marriage, but it helps to identify the issues that need to be resolved to start the healing process. For the first time in 5 months I'm hopeful that we may be able to reconcile our marriage.
Rating: 
Summary: well meaning but bad advice...
Review: this book is based on a well meaning, "good in theory", but realistically horrible advice....that the wayward spouse must "confess all" to his/her mate. Wrong...very true that extramarital affairs are morally wrong and should be ended immediately - no argument there...but the pain it causes the "transgressed upon" spouse will be too great if confessed. End the immoral relationship - Seek help from counselors and friends...but never confess to your spouse....it's a burden too great for them to bear....and it realistically (humanly speaking) it's "unforgivable". God can forgive...but i've known no cheated upon spouse that's ever really forgiven and forgotten....the pain is too great, and the scars are too deep to ever heal. Guess the real moral here is never have an extramarital relationship to begin with. Once you cross that line and are selfish enough to dump the burden on your spouse by confessing, the romance in your marriage is gone forever....
Sorry. there's theory and there's reality......this book is "theory" to suggest that there can ever be true healing....
Rating:
Summary: Excellent book!!
Review: This book is by far the best choice for a couple searching for hope in the midst of the storm. I have read it plus two others on rebuilding after an affair and this book is far and away the best, most complete of them all. It has honest, sincere advice on the best ways to weather this storm and come out with a magnificent marriage. I especially liked the fact that it has chapters addressing the process that both the wounded and unfaithful spouse are going through after discovery of an affair. My husband didn't particularly like being referred to as the "infidel", but the content of the book is so good that he managed to get past that. In the darkest days after the discovery of an extramarital affair, this book can provide insight, compassion, and most of all, hope for the future.
Rating:
Summary: well meaning...but bad advice...
Review: this book is very well meaning, but based on some very flawed advice..that the "infidel" must confess all to his/her spouse....i completely agree that extramarital affairs are wrong, immoral and should be ended immediately...but to selfishly unload that burden on the other spouse by confessing leaves life long scars that never heal. Sorry - that's the cold truth. God forgives, but "....a woman scorned..." The advice in this book is good in theory - but not the way it works in the real world....which is usually typical of evangelical advice....
The infidel needs to end the immoral relationship, approach the spouse about getting help for the marriage, and start the hard work of rebuilding...all that can be done without confessing all the details or revealing the affair....Bear that burden alone guys...or get some personal help from a counselor or trusted friend...but the wife isn't the one to confess too....Guess the real moral here is to never make this mistake in the first place - once that line is crossed, the romance in your marriage is gone forever....very sad....So stay faithful!!!!!
Rating:
Summary: The best book on infidelity that I've read.
Review: This book provides understanding to those of us who have been betrayed. It answers, Why?, What Now? and When Do I Stop Hurting? This book is excellent for anyone who has been betrayed, the "other" person in an affair and provides guidance for the infidel.
Rating: 
Summary: Very good book for healing from an affair
Review: This book was recommended to me by a friend and it was very helpful in healing from and understanding the anatomy of an affair. When you or your spouse has fallen into adultery, if it is just a quick one night stand, sometimes it is easier just to address it quickly and let it go without going into the painful process of understanding why and what dangers may lie ahead. But, if we don't understand why it happened, the chances of it happening again and moving into a much worse, deeper, marriage destroying affair are great.Torn Asunder can help couples reconcile and work through recovery from an affair. I would consider it an almost must-buy. Trying to heal without knowing the material in this book
would be next to impossible. The only reason I gave it a four star rating instead of five is that I feel that when a spouse is entrenched into a lasting type 2 affair, the approach they take is firm and has some good merits, but I feel very strongly that the "Last Resort Technique" in Michele Weiner-Davis' book "Divorce Remedy" is a much better approach. I believe Davis' book would be much, much
more effective in rescuing a damaged marriage and bringing it
back from near divorce or divorce. I would tend to use "Torn Asunder" more for understanding and
preventing future affairs as well as emotional healing.
Rating:
Summary: An Emotional Read, but well worth the effort
Review: This books helps to understand the why of an extramarital affair - especially the Entangled Affair. I was the infidel and the shame of what I had done threw me even deeper into depression and a confused state of mind. My counselor recommended the book for me & my husband. I read the book - my husband did not. It helped me to realize I was not alone and not a horrible person. I stood by and took my husband's anger, because I felt I deserved it, but I feel if he had read the book, it would have helped him more than me. My personal belief is that both spouses should read the book to get a better understanding of why the affair happened and how to recover. I'm giving it four stars because I have not read another book on extramarital affairs for comparison.
Rating:
Summary: well meaning...buuuuut.....
Review: this is a very well meaning book...unfortunately, it's based on a very flawed premise...that's it's most always best to confess infidelity to the other spouse. Like most advice from evangelicals, this is well intentioned, good hearted, but completely ungrounded in reality. extramarital affairs are wrong, immoral, and should be ended ASAP....no arugument there...
but to selfishly unload the burden on a spouse who cannot heal from the scars simply adds insult to injury...literally:)...
guess the real moral of the story, and the greatest value of this book, is to stop extramarital relationships before they get started. Realize that once that line is crossed and discovered...(and they ALWAYS are discovered), that the romance in the marriage is dead forever...sorry, that's the cold truth. God forgives...but not scorned wives....sad...so stay faithful and work out problems before they go this far.
couples should probably read this book together whether they're having trouble or not....might scare the potential wayward spouse into staying faithful.....:):)
Rating:
Summary: Good book, But.....
Review: This is one of the better books I've read lately. It has helped me deal with the anger I felt over what happened.
But I did have issue with a couple of points in the book.
The book is written with the husband as the infidel. I know its difficult to write such a book and remain gender neutral, but this point mad the book harder for me to read and conncet with. Men and women are different in what they need and desire. The way the book is written it appears to not explore why women have affairs. Granted an affair is an affair but the underlying causes are different for men than they are for women.
This book says that the faithful spouse must take partial responsibility for the affair if healing is to take place. This is out and out bull. The faithful spouse may have contributed to the conditions in the marriage that lead up to the affair and needs to take responsibilty for that, but the infidel CHOSE to have the affair. No matter how bad the marriage is its no excuse for an affair. An affair is strictly a choice by the infidel and no one else is responsible for those actions.
This book says that the best way to assure that there is never another affair is to show your wayward spouse the pain they have caused you. Supposedly remembering the pain they caused the faithful spouse will keep them from straying again. I would want my wandering spouse to not have another affair because they love me not because they would inflict pain on me.
Other than it was a great book and anyone recovering from infidelity in their marriage needs to read this one.
Rating:
Summary: Here's A Book That Can Bring You Hope
Review: This is one of the most devasting events which can occur in a marriage. This book talks about the emotions of both parties. At times, I felt as if I was reading my own diary as it described the emotions I was going thru. The book goes thru each phase of an affair, and you can, believe it or not, come out of it with a better marriage.
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