Rating: 
Summary: A helpful book for Christians confronted with infidelity
Review: A family member shared this book with me when I discovered my spouse's affair. This family member had used it after discovery of that spouse's affair. It is quite good and brings a slant (religion and its support) to dealing with infidelity that is missing from most books on this subject. You should also look at Dr. Frank S. Pittman's "Private Lies - Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy" and Willard Harley's "Surviving An Affair." With these three books you should be able to find almost all the information you need to deal with an infidelity crisis.
Rating: 
Summary: Threre is light at the end of the tunnel!
Review: Almost two years after discovering my husband's affair, I still find relief and encouragement in this book. It provided great insight in the immediate weeks after disclosure and has since served to remind me that I am not crazy to not be 100% over the devastation. Dave Carder makes some very difficult information easy to read and comprehend. This book was of geat help to both my husband and I, and I believe that it has given us a good foundation of knowledge on which to begin rebuilding our marriage!
Rating:
Summary: Hope for recovery from an affair
Review: Although the pain caused by an extra-marital affair seems unbearable, divorce isn't really a solution. Dave Carder points out that both partners share the responsibility for the state of the relationship which led to the extra-marital affair. Don't give up on your marriage. If you and your spouse are willing to read this and recommit yourselves to each other, your marriage can recover and even thrive after an affair.
Rating:
Summary: A must for a professional counselor's library
Review: Carder gives hope to the relationship that has been impacted by an extra marital affair. Carder discusses three types of affairs, as well as apporpriate interventions for a couple impacted by an affair.His 90 day experiment has been a very sucessful tool in my own counseling practice.
Rating:
Summary: Married (or equivalent), or used to be? Read this book!!!!!
Review: Extra-marital affairs! - Whether you're having one, thinking of having one, married to someone who has had or is having one, a child of someone who had one, or a friend of someone trying to cope with one, or just trying to ensure your own marriage is safe from one, READ THIS BOOK!
The book covers the three types of affair: one-night stand, entangled affair, sexual addiction. It will help you understand why it occurred, why you feel as you do about it, and what you can do. The phases of the affair, and of the innocent spouse's response, are explained, as also are ways of rebuilding trust, understanding forgiveness, and restructuring intimacy.
Secret affairs - those not yet revealed to the innocent spouse - are also discussed.
It's a Christian book, but not the "Come to Jesus and all will be well!" variety, so don't be put off. The author is an experienced psychologist as well as Christian minister - don't let THAT put you off either! It's not a substitute for "proper" counselling or therapy, but it offers a starting point especially where counselling is not available or where the pain and shame feel too great.
It doesn't matter whether the affair leads to divorce or to "forgive and forget". Those affected still need to work through it and understand what happened, because otherwise the marriage cannot be strong, or the divorcees' future lives will be damaged, or the children will be affected in their own relationships and marriages.
Those directly involved may find it hard to read this book, but if they do so they will find themselves reflected in it. Their friends will find it a lifeline, as they offer support.
The book has one flaw: NO INDEX!!! - so you end up reading it three times while looking for the good bits you remember seeing somewhere in it. But the table of contents is quite full, which helps fill the gap.
Okay, so this book is not "The First Wives Club", but it's still worth reading. There is hope. Get it now, BEFORE you need it
Rating:
Summary: Presents the anatomy of an affair.
Review: I am the infidel in our marriage. I was confused by my feelings of guilt and anguish, as was my husband. This book revealed to me not only the causes behind my affair, but how my husband and I can repair, even improve, our marriage. The analysis is complete and involving, the reading is easy and interesting. I highly recommend this book for both the infidel and the victim that is seeking validation of emotions and the path to resolution.
Rating:
Summary: Hard read, but worth the effort
Review: I found this book a very hard read not because of its readability but because of its straight forward manner inwhich the author discusses this sensitive and common issue. It helped me gain a better perspective of not only my part in the formualtion of an affair but also a perspective from my wifes point of view. I highly recommend this book but only after the intial barrage of emotions have passed after discovering the affair.
Rating:
Summary: Very informative for anyone in any strayed situation
Review: I read this book with a heavy heart b/c I was an infidel to my boyfriend 5 years ago. It went on for only 2 weeks before I told him. A month later we broke up. When that happened boy...oh boy...I'd never been grateful that I was not married.
Still after 5 years there are still some issues unresolved within myself. Reading this book helped me tremendously understand how things became. Even though I'm not a christian, I still learned a lot from this book. I might not get to do all the works as described in the book, but the understanding I gained surely helps raise my perspective and perceptions for this whole ordeal. That alone I believe and hope will help me become a better partner for someone in the future.
Rating:
Summary: My comments on "Torn Asunder" by Dave Carder
Review: Probably this book kept my marriage together, with a lot of other people praying. However, I find myself going back to phrases used by this author over and over again. No one will ever understand the pain of infidelity until they've gone through it, but Dave Carder comes as close as any author I've read. Highly recommend this book, along with counseling from a qualified counselor if you have to go through this "valley of the shadow".
Rating:
Summary: Absolutely Essential
Review: This book is a must for all couples who are dealing with the devastating effects of an affair. Dave Carder looks at the different types of affairs from both sides, giving the spouse insight into the "infidel's" emotions, and vice versa. Reading this book was about the only thing that had a real impact on my husband (who had the affair). Before he read the book nothing and nobody could get through to him. Reading the book won't heal a marriage, but it helps to identify the issues that need to be resolved to start the healing process. For the first time in 5 months I'm hopeful that we may be able to reconcile our marriage.
| 
