Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage

Rating:
Summary: Excellent!
Review: I thought this was an excellent, practical, realistic, modern guide to negotiating through an unequally yoked marital situation. It emphasized being loving to your spouse, being hopeful, not sacrificing your beliefs or spiritual growth- but also not being dogmatic. It wasn't legalistic, didn't get into the whole "your spouse isn't saved" thing or the "you must go to church every Sunday and leave them behind come whatever" idea. It had realistic suggestions for a modern, mutually respectful marriage. The best I've seen so far. Well worth investing in.

Rating:
Summary: A mismatch can wreck havock
Review: I'm in my own spiritual mismatch in my marriage.
My wife is Jewish and I'm Christian. My beliefs weren't an issue
with our marriage until I re-affirmed my beliefs in Christ a few years ago.
If I mention so much as a desire to go back to church, my wife hems and haws and threatens divorce. I've never pushed my beliefs on my wife, and likewise she with me, but I was concerned about the backlash she unleashes when the subject of God comes up in our household.
I heard Lee and Leslie talking on a radio program about their book and figure I give it a shot.
On the upside much of what Lee and Leslie went through I could identify with, since they themselves went through the same thing. In their case, Leslie is Christian and Lee was Atheist. Many of the fights and situations they described I've gone through to some degree with my wife. The solutions to those problems are of course outstanding, but the Strobels give some tools to the reader in dealing with you and your spouses differing perspectives.
I've used those tools, and they've helped somewhat. Not a total solution, but very helpful in keeping a hot subject from escalating into disaster.
However I felt a bit letdown in the tone of their book since the Strobels have the notion that men, not women, in a majority are seperate from Christ. Thus the reader is addressed that "your husband this..." and "your husband that..."
Well, my problem isn't with "a husband" but with "my wife".
This tone sort of made me felt left out when reading the book. The Strobels acknowledge this oversight, but wouldn't it be better to just address the oversight by being non-gender specific?
Also I had a problem with lack of scripture reference. As I mentioned, the Strobels offer many tools in dealing with spiritual conflict with your partner. The problem is they say God wants you to do this, or something else to please your partner but doesn't give a specific scripture reference which I can follow. The bibliography in the back of the book just references other books, which in turn doesn't do much in satisfying my hopes that I'm acting in a Christian way.
Another problem I had was there were a few sections in the book that addressed Christain people that were seeking relationships with non-Christians. Why mention this at all, since you're buying this book to solve a crisis after the fact?
Its like saying, "Hey dummy, if listened to God to begin with you wouldn't be in this mess."

These chapters have no business being in the book, since the basis of the book is mismatched married couples, not a Christian's guide to dating non-Christians.
Another problem I had was Lee's salvation. I'm very happy for Lee that he let Christ into his life, but the fact of the matter is not every mismatched couple has a resolution like this. The Strobels mention some cases where the non-Christian partner does become saved, but how can you expect to setup your reader for this outcome. Its almost a bit pretencious. I would have liked to have read more about situations that are more closer to home like how does one partner deal with the other partner never coming to Christ? How do you survive that?
The prayer guide in the back of the book is helpful in seeking God's help in these matters of peaceful coexistance of two people who love each other and have different views of life and eternity.
This book is very helpful and I encourage anyone who is going through a mismatch to read it. Great tools in dealing with a big problem.

Rating:
Summary: A mismatch can wreck havock
Review: I'm in my own spiritual mismatch in my marriage.
My wife is Jewish and I'm Christian. My beliefs weren't an issue
with our marriage until I re-affirmed my beliefs in Christ a few years ago.
If I mention so much as a desire to go back to church, my wife hems and haws and threatens divorce. I've never pushed my beliefs on my wife, and likewise she with me, but I was concerned about the backlash she unleashes when the subject of God comes up in our household.
I heard Lee and Leslie talking on a radio program about their book and figure I give it a shot.
On the upside much of what Lee and Leslie went through I could identify with, since they themselves went through the same thing. In their case, Leslie is Christian and Lee was Atheist. Many of the fights and situations they described I've gone through to some degree with my wife. The solutions to those problems are of course outstanding, but the Strobels give some tools to the reader in dealing with you and your spouses differing perspectives.
I've used those tools, and they've helped somewhat. Not a total solution, but very helpful in keeping a hot subject from escalating into disaster.
However I felt a bit letdown in the tone of their book since the Strobels have the notion that men, not women, in a majority are seperate from Christ. Thus the reader is addressed that "your husband this..." and "your husband that..."
Well, my problem isn't with "a husband" but with "my wife".
This tone sort of made me felt left out when reading the book. The Strobels acknowledge this oversight, but wouldn't it be better to just address the oversight by being non-gender specific?
Also I had a problem with lack of scripture reference. As I mentioned, the Strobels offer many tools in dealing with spiritual conflict with your partner. The problem is they say God wants you to do this, or something else to please your partner but doesn't give a specific scripture reference which I can follow. The bibliography in the back of the book just references other books, which in turn doesn't do much in satisfying my hopes that I'm acting in a Christian way.
Another problem I had was there were a few sections in the book that addressed Christain people that were seeking relationships with non-Christians. Why mention this at all, since you're buying this book to solve a crisis after the fact?
Its like saying, "Hey dummy, if listened to God to begin with you wouldn't be in this mess."

These chapters have no business being in the book, since the basis of the book is mismatched married couples, not a Christian's guide to dating non-Christians.
Another problem I had was Lee's salvation. I'm very happy for Lee that he let Christ into his life, but the fact of the matter is not every mismatched couple has a resolution like this. The Strobels mention some cases where the non-Christian partner does become saved, but how can you expect to setup your reader for this outcome. Its almost a bit pretencious. I would have liked to have read more about situations that are more closer to home like how does one partner deal with the other partner never coming to Christ? How do you survive that?
The prayer guide in the back of the book is helpful in seeking God's help in these matters of peaceful coexistance of two people who love each other and have different views of life and eternity.
This book is very helpful and I encourage anyone who is going through a mismatch to read it. Great tools in dealing with a big problem.

Rating:
Summary: Much-needed help for "unequally yoked" couples!
Review: I've been looking for a book like this for years! As a Christian married to a spiritual skeptic, I've wrestled with all sorts of emotions, pain, and difficulties. Finally, a couple who has actually lived in an "unequally yoked" marriage has written a biblical, practical guidebook for how to deal with the inevitable conflicts that arise in such relationships. This book has it all -- how to get through the arguments and disagreements; how to raise children in a spiritually confusing environment; how to talk to your spouse about God; how to pray for your partner (the book includes a 30-day prayer guide); and so on. It also features chapters on whether Christians should even date non-Christians; what to do if you and your spouse are both Christians but one is less spiritually mature than the other; and how to handle the situation if your spouse is a member of another religion.

I thought the advice was sensitively presented, biblically sound, and resoundingly practical. The authors, Lee and Leslie Stroebel, draw on their own experience of having been married during a time when Leslie was a Christian and Lee was an atheist. While my spouse isn't an atheist, the counsel they offer was totally relevant and useful.

Let me add one other thing. I've been trying at my church to start a group of people who are married to non-Christians, but I've been stymied as far as what resource to use as a curriculum. This book includes a wonderful "application guide" that's a roadmap for a group like this. Now those of us who find ourselves "unequally yoked" can get together and encourage each other while learning together how to survive our mismatched situations.

If you're a Christian but your husband or wife isn't, you MUST have this book. If you know someone who's in that situation, please let them know that this resource can help them in a hundred different ways. And if you're the leader of a church, either a senior pastor or women's ministry director, check out this book and consider starting groups to minister to the Christians in your congregation who are wrestling with the difficulties presented by a spiritual mismatch.

Rating:
Summary: The candid, revealing story of one married couple's journey
Review: Surviving A Spiritual Mismatch In Marriage by Lee and Leslie Strobel is the candid and revealing story of one married couple's journey together despite conflicting beliefs. When Leslie Strobel made the decision to become a devout follower of Jesus, her nonbeliever husband had severe opposition. They conflicted on a vast array of central issues to married life, from finances to the raising of their children. Learning to accept their differences and make their marriage work was a long and hard road, and now they present readers everywhere their life experiences for the purpose of helping others going through the same problems of adjustment to cope and reconcile one another's differences. Surviving A Spiritual Mismatch In Marriage is unique and highly recommended reading.

Rating:
Summary: The other side...
Review: The basic approach of this book is help the believing spouse understand his/her unbelieving spouse for the purpose of having him/her convert. As a former believer that deconverted after getting married, I understand the difficulties of having a spouse that no longer believes the same way that you do. I also feel that this stress is intensified when a spouse closes themselves off to the possibility that perhaps their beliefs might be the ones that are in error.

I would suggest that both spouses should examine their beliefs closely, as well as the beliefs of their spouse. Openness, not agreement, should be the goal. Many believers have never critically examined both sides of the issue and may find that the cases for faith and Christ (Strobel's other books notwithstanding) aren't as solid as they were led to believe.

Rating:
Summary: They wrote part of this book from my living room!!!!!
Review: The first several chapters must have been written from my living room! Leslie's account of the emotions and struggles of a new Christian married to a non-christian, and Lee's own accounts of his confusion and struggles has helped me understand what is going on in my own situation.

I would recommend this book for either person in a spiritually mismatched relationship. This is also a good book for anyone who knows such a couple or is involved in ministry.

Rating:
Summary: a topic too few are willing to discuss but need to!
Review: There is a wealth of information in this book. I want to run my highlighter through most of the pages because there is so much valuable insight! If you are a Christian and your wife is not or vice versa...GET THIS! Lee Strobel was an atheist. Leslie Strobel became a Christian. Two worlds collided. Find out what is going on in each of these two worlds and how you can bring them together. This is one book that I'll probably start reading all over again as soon as I finish with it this time around!

Rating:
Summary: a topic too few are willing to discuss but need to!
Review: There is a wealth of information in this book. I want to run my highlighter through most of the pages because there is so much valuable insight! If you are a Christian and your wife is not or vice versa...GET THIS! Lee Strobel was an atheist. Leslie Strobel became a Christian. Two worlds collided. Find out what is going on in each of these two worlds and how you can bring them together. This is one book that I'll probably start reading all over again as soon as I finish with it this time around!