Rating: 
Summary: Powerful feelings invoked for a borderline reader!!!
Review: Before I start my review, I want to say that I am a self-diagnosed borderline. I have been reading everything about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that I can get my hands on since I first heard the term just four months ago. At that time it was a revelation for me! FINALLY, I have a name for something that has been torturing me for 40+ years!!!
I am going to be as honest as I can about how I FELT as I read this book, without violating the "Amazon Guidelines for Review". This account may sound fake, or it may sound crazy, unless you understand how it feels to be borderline. Like Dr. Walker, I WANT people to have more understanding of BPD, so I am writing this type of review:
This book is completely unique, in that it invoked such strong feelings as I read it. First, I recognized myself and others in the book with frightening clarity. I LOATHED Michelle by the end of the book, feeling sensations of RELIEF myself when Anthony was finally able to escape her. Then, I felt intense SHAME, because she was so much like me! "Oh, I am so sorry! I am so evil! How can anyone love me? They can't possibly..."
A bit later, it hit me, I was obsessing about this AMAZING doctor who REALLY knows what it is like for people with BPD! "Oh my God! HE KNOWS!!!" I found myself wanting desperately to speak with him about the book. (A less healthy and more impulsive me would have tried to contact him at that point. REALLY! I am very resourceful, just like Michelle was in the book.)
As I battled within myself to get a grip, and tell myself I MUST respect this man's privacy, another strange feeling came over me. OUCH! I felt a familiar pang in my chest, and I wanted to shout, "HEY! What about Michelle? How is SHE doing? Is she EVEN still ALIVE? Do you even care anymore?? You #@*%!!!" I suddenly hated him for abandoning her...SHE IS ME!!! And I felt the emptiness, the panic, the kick-in-the-gut feeling of abandonment myself.
Because of therapy (and my medication too, I must say, but mostly because of therapy) I can CHOOSE NOT TO ACT upon my intense feelings, even though I believe I will always have them. I am learning through therapy to talk to myself in positive, rational ways to help deal with my black and white thinking, with my extreme feelings, and my rapidly changing moods. I am able to control my dangerous impulses now. (Thank you Darrell! Will you "label me" now?)
I hope this review makes it online, and I hope people will read "Siren's Dance", because it is a very good book that will help you understand BPD in a "can't put the book down" thriller-type of way...a truly unique book!
Rating: 
Summary: i've got borderline...
Review: dear reviewers,
you obviously don't comprehend what it is like to have your own brain not quite belong to you. it's hard. don't view michelle as a normal beautiful woman... she is ill.
thank you,
gwen
Rating: 
Summary: Dangerous for Readers
Review: I am the webowner of Borderline Personality Disorder Today.I wrote a review on the previous edition called "Courtship Dance of the Borderline" which is no longer in print. You will note that many reviews on this book state at the bottom that their review is from the previous edition. As if the book isn't stigmatizing enough I find a great deal of falsehoods in these reviews. Statements like bpds "are manipulative. It is a well kwown fact that this is not true and researchers in this field such as Marsha Linehan Ph.D. will tell you that. Instead of promoting growth in this field and truly educating folks about this painful disorder; and instead of assisting the familes with how the author felt and coped during his marriage with someone with BPD. He shares none of his inner self. In the book "Imbroglio" it states that no person with BPD is alike. How true! I have the BPD myself and can relate to 10% of how this BPD character in the book behaved and felt. There is no one set version of a person with BPD. I encourage everyone to read everything about this disorder with a grain of salt unlesss they are a researcher and know the current research. Author's arrogant depiction of his relationship with his Borderline wife. Author takes little responsibility for the death of the relationship and has zero insight into his own mental health issues that drew him into a destructive relationship and kept him there for some time. This lack of insight is common among Borderline partners who blame the Borderline for everything under the sun. The author is described by his mother - "You have always cared for the very weakest, the most hopeless cases." This line was used as an introduction in the book as to why he was attracted to this "borderline." In other words, he is likening someone with the BPD as being "the very weakest, the most hopeless cases." Not only was the author terribly wrong about the BPD, but it made me very angry. He presents his wife in this book as someone who cannot get better. He does not discuss treatment. He does not seem to have a real clue as to what the BPD really is and that is a neurobiological medical disorder. A brain disorder needing medication. He discusses Gunderson's work which is good but old. It would have been helpful for the author to have done some recent research before writing the book to provide hope to families and borderlines. The book leaves one with a feeling of no hope and leaves families with thoughts that borderlines should be left. It is important to note that not all borderlines are alike. His depiction of his wife and how the BPD is expressed in her life will be very different from another person with the BPD. It was stated in the book that BPDs are manipulative which is incorrect. This was thought at one time but we know now is untrue. Here again, we look at the research and not at what others tell us. This book is dangerous for borderlines and families to read because of the reasons above. Leads one to believe there is no hope, no treatment, BPD partner has no mental health issues and blaming the BPD for everything. For an M.D. in the field of psychiatry as the author, he flunked badly. The only way that he can do a "make-up exam" is by doing an intense self examination - what was going on with me inside for my life to become so out of control during that time period; why would I give up control of my life to another human being; what is it about me that needs to feel I can control another human being; etc? This is where healing comes from for BPD families, not from this author's perspective. It is important to remember that we attract those who are functioning on the same level emotionally. If we find ourselves with a mate who has a mental health disorder, chances are we are not well either. What is important is not to focus on your partner to move ahead, but to focus on yourself asking yourself what is it about you that is not well and what will it take to become a happy and healthy person? Families of the BPD many times make the mistake that this author has and that is to continue to focus on the borderline to improve one's life as if happiness is all up to the borderline and the partner is "fine." Untrue.
Rating:
Summary: Remember That There Are 2 Types Of Borderlines.
Review: I thought this was a very informative book and highly entertaining, to boot. I was briefly married to a borderline just like the author, but my ex was an inwardly focused borderline (substance abuse, anorexia, bulimia, self harm, depression, etc.) rather than an outwardly focused borderline (suicide attempts, non stop raging, etc.) like the young lady in the book. The mistakes that this man made are many- starting with his decision to quickly marry a person who he full-well knew was deeply troubled. He met his future bride while she was in the hospital for a failed suicide attempt. Not a good idea. On the other hand, my ex never told me of her diagnosis- I only became aware of it during our custody dispute. (Never underestimate a borderline's ability to hide their true selves.) Part of the entertaining aspect of the book was seeing a medical doctor try to attempt to change a person that all of the information tells us is nearly impossible. He certainly should have known better. I would consider this a must read for anyone who is/was in a chosen relationship with someone who has BPD. I found the fractured relationship between his wife and his parents, especially his father, to be much like what I had to endure. The only reason I gave it 4 stars is because it left a lot of open questions- but maybe that was intentional. The overwhelming question that I was left with was, why didn't he listen to loved ones who were warning him at, seemingly, every turn? A very quick read.
Rating: 
Summary: BPD Is Not a Mental Disorder
Review: In "The Siren's Dance : My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study" Dr. Walker gives us an inside view of Hell. I have worked for years with persons with BPD and after each consult I have been near my wits end, so my hat off to Dr. Walker for his being able to keep his mind together after living day in and day out with a BPD.
One thing that must be understood is that BPD is not a mental disorder but in fact is a disorder of the personality and thus is in many ways harder to treat. Although some medication is helpful no medication can truly target this disorder. I cover BPD a great deal in my book "Co-dependent... What a Bore" and what I try to show there is that years are needed to "cure" this disorder. Something that cannot be done within the six visits that managed care okays, which is why all my BPD clients are seen by me pro bono. Dr. Walker's book is well done and will provide good insight into this disorder. Read this book... it is well worth your time and money.
Rick Goodner, Author of "Co-dependent... What a Bore and Other Clinical Observations"
Rating:
Summary: It takes 2 to tango..
Review: In "The Siren's Dance : My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study" Dr. Walker gives us an inside view of Hell. I have worked for years with persons with BPD and after each consult I have been near my wits end, so my hat off to Dr. Walker for his being able to keep his mind together after living day in and day out with a BPD.
One thing that must be understood is that BPD is not a mental disorder but in fact is a disorder of the personality and thus is in many ways harder to treat. Although some medication is helpful no medication can truly target this disorder. I cover BPD a great deal in my book "Co-dependent... What a Bore" and what I try to show there is that years are needed to "cure" this disorder. Something that cannot be done within the six visits that managed care okays, which is why all my BPD clients are seen by me pro bono. Dr. Walker's book is well done and will provide good insight into this disorder. Read this book... it is well worth your time and money.
Rick Goodner, Author of "Co-dependent... What a Bore and Other Clinical Observations"
Rating:
Summary: One-sided, but worth reading
Review: It seems most of the people writing reviews here are either BPDs or (former) partners of BPDs, so people either love or hate the book. The author is one-sided in many ways, presenting himself as a naive victim of Michelle, and doesn't examine in much detail why he married a woman he had just met a few months earlier shortly after a suicide attempt. He presents himself as compassionate, without going into what it probably meant to him to be loved in the manner that a BPD is capable of. I think he has a responsibility to the readers to examine himself in more detail than he does within the book. However, the book does give a good account of the ups and downs one does get when in such a relationship- maybe more extreme than most people's experience, but extremely validating for anyone who has been through these ups and downs to read through. I'd recommend it for anyone coming off such a relationship, as a starting to help make sense of their own experiences. Just recognize that, in spite of the excellent clinical information given at the end, it is one-sided in many ways.
Rating: 
Summary: Invitation to relationship problems
Review: It seems that Dr. Walker forgot the first commandment for therapists: do not socialize with patients. In the case of former patients, two years must elapse before there is any contact outside of the therapeutic relationship. Dr. Walker failed to maintain clear boundaries and invited disaster. He portrays himself as a victim who was simply trying to "rescue" a patient who was diagnosed with BPD. He conveniently views his book as a case study of a borderline. He describes what it is like to live with someone suffering from an irrational fear of abandonment, but he doesn't acknowledge his contribution to the failed relationship. How about the havoc and problems his "unprofessional" behavior caused for his mentally ill wife. Shame on you, Dr.Walker!
Rating:
Summary: It takes 2 to tango..
Review: Suffering from BPD myself, I read this book hoping for some insight into 'the other side' of the story. I found a young guy falling into the trap of trying to 'save' someone. I can definitely relate to the experience and have many times myself asked guys to 'promise to never leave me'. I would like to recommend to anyone dealing with this to seek therapy (and unlike Michelle, not sporadically or once a month). I'm 32, and going 2 times a week. I'm finally starting to feel like myself. The only negative thing I felt about this book was the initial message: 'do not get involved with a bpd person'. Every situation is different, and i hope someday that i will be capable of a 'normal' relationship and someone will give me that chance.
Rating:
Summary: Harrowing and enlightening
Review: The Siren's Dance is a rare find. Here is a brutally honest account of a failed professional and personal relationship by a specialist physician. I think Dr walk is extremely brave to to have provided this highly personal account of what happened and how it affected him. He makes no excuses for his own mistakes (which are painfully obvious - hence the misguided criticisms of the book by some reviewers), nor does he seek to sugar-coat the story by downplaying the havoc that Michelle's mental disorder wrought on both their lives. He doesn't pretend to offer a dispassionate analyisis of BPD - he simply relates his perceptions of what happened and how he felt about it at the time. Thankfully, he does not try "professionalise" the account by censoring his thoughts and feelings. Many eminent psychiatrists and neurologists have written textbooks about the disorders they treat, and some have even written moving personal accounts of their interactions with their patients. But Dr Walker has done something much braver - he has told his own harrowing story, warts and all. By setting aside the professional mask to tell us his story - despite exposing his youthful naivity and lack of judgement - he provides a unique perspective on the challenges of treating and living with BPD.
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