Drinking : A Love Story

Rating:
Summary: I Wish I Liked It, But . . .
Review: The only way I got through this book was out of desperation. It was my only reading material at a graveyard job, my one source of distraction.
I feel badly doing this negative posthumous review, but want to warn future customers that they're in for a mediocre ride. Knapp stresses over and over again that she was a "high functioning alcoholic". And she seems to prove it well enough. But her tales of knocking back fine wine and scotch and passing out sad and lonely at home are so bland I found myself wishing she would plummet into some low functioning behavior. Rob a liquor store. Punch someone out. At least have some one night stands.
Perhaps her story could have been more interestingly portrayed if she'd included a little more narrative, and a lot less introspection. Especially since the reflective bits tend to repeat themselves, over and over and over again. Knapp includes little to no humor in the book. And and alcoholic who can't see the humor in their own exploits is not an alcoholic I'd care to know.
As a person, I'm sure Knapp was a wonderful lady. But if you're looking for a gripping story, this isn't it.

Rating:
Summary: The best book on the psychological effects of alcoholism
Review: As much as I loved this book, I doubt it will impress people who aren't alcoholic or dealing with an alcoholic. Had I read this book in college, I would probably have sympathized with her problems but ultimately thought she was simply flaky and needed to just stop doing the stupid things she describes - not that complicated.

As it is, I read this book when I had become fully aware that my own relationship with alcohol had ceased to be simply "great when it's around - like a good meal" and begun to be compulsive. The absence of a drink became an 800 pound elephant in the room, and I noticed that at some point I had stopped enjoying being sober. For me, that was when I realized I had crossed a line and that drinking was no longer cute or funny. Somewhere along the way, it had managed to insinuate itself as the center of my life, even though I never would have admitted it out loud. My first thought when invited to a social event was whether alcohol would be served. My first thought when going out to a meal in the evening was whether they had a liquor license. I had mentally divided my friends into drinkers and non-drinkers, and I had managed to do so without believing there was anything weird about this.

That is the subtle tug of alcoholism that Ms. Knapp exposes. To everyone around the alcoholic, it is obvious that there is a problem. To the alcoholic, he simply wants to suck the marrow out of life, and can't understand why people aren't with him. Yet, if pressed, most alcoholics will admit that their life stopped being happy right around the time they started drinking regularly (it is a depressant, after all. This shouldn't be surprising). They will have what Ms. Knapp describes as that "a-ha" moment when alcoholics consider the possibility - obvious to everyone else but new and original to them - that they do not drink because they are unhappy. They are unhappy because they drink.

Ms. Knapp's book is ideal, and potentially life-saving, for the intelligent, highly-functioning alcoholic who has not yet done anything so stupid that they are forced to recognize what everyone else in their life probably knows. This book could be the catalyst that allows them to head their problems off at the pass, because alcoholism ONLY gets worse. There's a well-known speech about alcoholics in AA that includes a memorable phrase about what it feels like to be alcoholic - "the worst part is, people will never know how hard we tried". Many an alcoholic can identify with this - no matter how many times alcohol has kicked you, it is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life to quit. Trust me on this and respect the next recovered alcoholic you meet. Had they had a choice, they would rather have walked across the Sahara. But they took a deep breath and tried to do the right thing for themselves and others.

Like so many reviewers of this book, I regret that the author died before I could personally thank her for the insights this book provides. However, she is in my prayers, and I hope she's enjoying a very sober, happy existence with the same Higher Power that watched out for her here on earth.

Rating:
Summary: Drinking: A Rather Repetitious Story
Review: Ms. Knapp chronicles her drinking saga from adolescence to her mid-thirties, when she finally decided to quit. Her father was a well-known psychoanalyst, her mother an artist. She had one brother (hardly mentioned), and one sister, a twin (not mentioned much). The most she writes about her childhood is that her father, previously married, had three children, one of whom came to stay with them for awhile. Wicky was blind, and apparently violent toward her mother and brother. Her half-sister later told her that he obviously had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (the mother drank).

Ms. Knapp felt uncomfortable and awkward around her father, but since there is not enough information about her childhood, I'm not really sure why. As it turns out, he was supposedly an alcoholic as well, although she had to ask a colleague of her father's if he thought so, after her father had died. Her mother apparently didn't offer her opinion.

Mainly the book concentrates on the various ways that Ms. Knapp fed her addiction: what she drank, where she drank, when she drank, with whom she drank. Since she finally admitted that she was an alcoholic (but a high-functioning one - we must remember) she could then blame every wrong thing she did on "the disease". She just couldn't help it. She was involved with two men at the same time, Michael and Julian. They both were aware that she was seeing the other, but she was compelled (because of the alcohol) to lie to both of them about where she was, with whom, etc. Ms. Knapp became pregnant, and apparently told them both that they were the father. One went with her to the doctor's appointment to determine pregnancy, the other went with her to get the abortion. How cold can you be? But she couldn't help it, she says, the alcoholism forced her to behave in this manner. Since her father had a long-term extra-marital affair, and he drank, well, it couldn't be that they were immoral or anything, it was the alcohol!

The book leaves out a lot, but has the same refrain for many pages: I couldn't help myself. Until I decided to stop. But, to me, it's like anything else. You do what you do until you are ready to see the light (which in Ms. Knapp's case, strangely enough, was reading an article which quoted Shirley Maclaine). But don't blame it on "the disease".

After reading the book, I still don't know much about Ms. Knapp'life, but I do know what she liked to drink the most: white wine. She died in 2002 at age 42 of lung cancer.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent book
Review: Well yeah I like my wine, I wanted to read a book about somebody's road to alcoholism to be aware of what can happen if one makes a habit of drinking too much. GREAT BOOK. I can't begin to tell you how much I psychoanalyze every glass now. Even if it's just a few drinks on the weekend, I am more AWARE of why I'm having them. This woman is so smart to have been able to put it all her feelings and words into this book, to make us all realize that you can lose track of how much you're really drinking. Since I read this, I've cut my indulgence by 50% because I never want to have to live the hell that she lived. Read it, understand it, and unless you realize you are an alcoholic, keep in check how much and how often you "need" to drink. The book is excellent.

Rating:
Summary: Sorry to Have Missed Her
Review: I read Drinking a little over a month ago before I knew of Caroline Knapp's death. I discovered that Caroline Knapp had died because I was so moved (that's not quite strong enough) by this book that I really wanted to email her and tell her what an effect she had on my life; I googled her. Alas, too late.

If you have had a drinking problem or someone you know has had a drinking problem, this book is indispensable. Not every person with an alcohol addiction is a falling down drunk who loses their job or crashes their car and kills someone or finds another dismal bottom. Sometimes its just the sweet, vulnerable girl in the office who has a really hard time coping with life's realities and finds solace in alcohol.

In reading reviews of this book, I've been dismayed by those saying Knapp betrayed AA. Would Bill Wilson really have condemned someone who spoke only well of his group and who encouraged others to find help? That would be hard to believe. Likewise, another review commented on the fact that Knapp introduced other difficulties into the book, her anorexia. Life is not a single note playing. It's chords. And, sometimes, our problems are in multiple, just as chords are. Knapp's portrayal of her dealing with alcholism is true. She is/was true. I just wish, as a reviewer of her book on Appetites had said, that she had dealt with her addiction to cigarettes. If she had, perhaps all of us would have been richer for many years to come.

Rating:
Summary: True Story of a Functioning Alcoholic
Review: I admit I was put off by the way Caroline Knapp came across in the media and in a few of her articles in Salon. On one of the news magazine shows she seemed like a nice upper-middle class woman who made up a problem to have something to write about. When I finally picked it up and started reading, it immediately became clear how real and serious her problems were. Because she could point to other people who were worse off, she was able to deny her own alcoholism for years. This book is definitely worth reading for alcoholics and non-alcoholics alike.