Rating:  Summary: An Eye Opener! Review: A must read for anyone raising boys. The book exposes how society's definition of masculinity affects our sons and how we, as parents, caregivers and other adult role models, can counteract that. Insightful and thought provoking.
Rating:  Summary: Very well written, but skewed. Review: Although Pollack does an excellent job of describing the psychology of being a boy, and ways to work with it, most of the examples given seem to be socially skewed. For instance, most of the boys that fit the descriptions of "real" that Pollack is trying to advance come from homes where they are relatively well-off, while the boys that come from abusive or violent homes seem to be lower income. My other slight bone to pick is that Pollack makes his point quite excellently in the first 100 pages, then follows with 300 more pages of examples, beating the reader over the head with the point.
Rating:  Summary: Disappointing Review: As a counselor for emotionally disturbed teenagers I was really exited to read this book. Unfortunately, Pollock tends to point out the obvious. Yes, it is okay for boys to cry, be sure and not to call your son a "sissy", etc... This book could have been written in a five pages. Very monotonous reading.
Rating:  Summary: Rereading Real Boys Review: As a father of one son in 1999, I initially read Real Boys, and was extremely moved, both at the insights to my life and to how to help my son. How many times has my wife or mother, sensing something wrong with me, asked 'what's going on?' My refrain, constantly, is 'not much'. How much better a platform for conversation is it to shoot hoops with me, or prune the roses, or clean the garage?
Now in 2005 I have two sons and a daughter, and I thought it was an appropriate time to re-read the book. My oldest son is in school, playing sports, and starting to eschew all feminine. Last night I curled on the couch in the semidarkness and began the book. Tears streamed down my face for much of the first couple of chapters. Toward the end of the evening, my wife walked down the hallway toward me. Before she got there, I wiped any tears from eyes and cheeks and got ready to respond to her throw away question 'what's up' with my 'not much.'
Rating:  Summary: Good ideas, but sometimes repetitive Review: As a person who has been a teacher and an administrator in high and elementary schools, I value much of what William Pollack has written in this book. I did find he repeated himself frequently, especially in the second half of the book. A criticism of the book also is it seems to focus on families who have enough money to afford insurance for counseling. While I believe that many of the principals Pollack discussed are relevant to boys of American socio-economic classes, I wonder if he had ever focused on other groups to test his ideas.His chapter on schools is quite good, especially since he presents ideas on what to do.
Rating:  Summary: Lacking in references, but good in case studies Review: As a psychology student at a prestigious college, I was very frustrated in reading the book because of the lack of evidence/proof/or reference that Pollack provides. In addition, there is a large amount of repitition in the book. It reads like a parenting manual, but is seemingly aimed at literate, educated people-- potentially leaving an entire population of parents out of the picture. They may get caught up in the terminology, or frustrated with unending opinions and repetition. Despite this all, it confronts valid issues surrounding the problems faced by boys (i.e shaming, self-esteem), and provides interesting anecdotes to support the author's own opinion.
Rating:  Summary: wow....useless drivel...wow. Review: As basis for my critique, I choose to do that which the author has refused: accurately quote primary sources. "Listen to PETER:"Being a guy, wow. You don't know when you are going to offend someone-you always have to be watching yourself." pg. 151 "Sixteen-year-old ROSS relates it this way: "Being a guy today, wow. You don't know when you're going to offend someone. You've always got to be watching yourself." pg. 163 wow, I would have thought the proof readers would have caught that one. wow, its not even good fiction. wow, i cant believe this guy is APA backed. wow
Rating:  Summary: please someone give this man a real job Review: As someone raised by a single mother, I have to take issue with the author's assumption that women are caring and nurturing, blah blah blah. I learned pretty much most of my aggressive tendencies from Mom and very little from the action and slasher movies which I saw. This book is the standard attack on gender roles which decides arbitrarily that the last 4000 years have been all bad, most of today is horrible and if only we could live in some Victorian society where the men are crying their eye's out at the drop of a hat, then life would be perfect. Sorry Harvard Boy. It's a long way from the Ivory Tower to reality. What Pollack views as evil and detrimental is simple survival. Yes, boys are conditioned not to cry. But if boys cried every single time they got hurt they'd have no tears left for real emotional upheaval. I got a backache shoveling snow today. By Mr. Pollack's viewpoint, the fact that I simply swore and kept shoveling is a bad thing bruoght on by SOCIETY which is at fault particularly THE MEDIA. That men (and many women) like action movies is one of the few bonding things we got. YOu take a group of men who have absolutely nothing in common and the action movie will bond them - be it Enter the Dragon, Die-Hard or Schwarzennegger Kills People - it will create a community where there were only a bunch of people who had to work at the same place. Sports are the same way. I seriously doubt you can say the same thing about long treatises written by Harvard professors. At heart, this book is an attack on aggressiveness and a cheerleading squad for sensitivity. While there is something to be said for the overabundance of Aggressiveness in a person at the expense of sensitivity, there is also something wrong with the overabundance of sensitivity at the expense of aggressiveness. It's not good to be a doormat, as the average feminist will tell you, so why should we be striving for that just because the opposite is also stupid. For a better discussion on gender roles read Rene Denfeld's treatises on female aggression or The Preacher by Garth Ennis (in 8 installments). On the other hand if you are a Faludi fan, forget that I recommended anything. There's no hope for you.
Rating:  Summary: An eye-opener for all teachers and parents! Review: As the mother of a new baby boy and an elementary school teacher I found this book to be fascinating. Worrying about how to encourage our young boys to express their emotions without being ostracized by their peers is a delicate balancing act. While most of the book deals with school age boys/teenagers I found it most helpful as a teacher. It is the kind of book that made me think, "Yes, I've done that", or "That must have been what Joey was thinking when he did that." Pollack explains nicely the way we, as adults (and especially women) expect men to be sensitive and emotionally in touch but we discourage this behavior in young boys by shaming them for tears or encouraging them to "tough it out". The book provides real case studies from Pollack's work to illustrate how his ideas play out in real life. As a mother I don't have to worry about much of this for a while, but as a teacher I have already begun to rethink things I do and say to my fourth graders every day. A great read!
Rating:  Summary: ESP or just good research, I don't know which... Review: Dr. Pollack hit the nail on the head, so to speak. Despite his use of sweeping statements, he is extremely accurate in his research and his writing, and speaking as someone currently dealing with the phenomenon he describes as the "Boy Code" I can agree wholeheartedly... Though I have never truly bought into it, there has always been a substantial amount of pressure just to act like everyone else, to lose my individuality, and there were people who thought I was a wuss, or a faggot, because I'm exceptionally well-read, intelligent, and outspoken. Mostly, these people shut up when I demonstrate the reason I lead my division in percentage of baserunners thrown out stealing and total bases stolen. Pollack writes about how boys relate to one another through action rather than speaking, another dead-on observations...people act as if boys are loners, but we're not. We have friends, but not by your narrow definition of friends. People need to re-evaluate their thinking in light of these subjects and more. Our society asks young men to reconcile two entirely different images, a difficult task, and then tells a boy he must do it alone. How absurd is that?
|