Mrs Keppel and Her Daughter

Rating:
Summary: Thought provoking biography
Review: After having read this book, I can't stop thinking about it and pondering what makes us happy in life. The people in this story, constrained by the morals of their time, sought happiness through influence, fame, wealth, and sexual relationships with varying success. Today, although our society is more open and free, achieving happiness is still a challenging business. As I read about Violet Trefusis' unhappy life, I wondered how different it would have been had Vita Sackville-West eloped with her. What if their times had been more accepting of openly homosexual relationships. What if Violet had been able to live within the lie of her marriage. If this story had played out today, could it have ended with happiness for Violet. Are things so different for us today.

Souhami's version of the affair between Violet and Vita leaves one feeling angry and annoyed at Vita. If Vita had been honest about their relationship, Violet may have learned to accept her life without the possiblity of a long term relationship with Vita. Violet may have healed emotionally and been able to get back on track in life. Instead, Souhamis portrays Violet as a victim and her life damaged by her unrequited passion for Vita. Vita held out false hopes to Violet by waffling and lying to Violet about their relationship, while actually having no intention of ever leaving her marriage. Vita was not very honest and if she had been a man, she would have been called a cad.

I plan on re-reading A Portrait of a Marriage to see if Vita can change my mind. But my first reading of that book several years ago left me unconvinced and Souhamis has written an interesting and convincing portrait of Violet as the victim.

I highly recommend this book. This is a story about human relationships - husband/wife, mother/daughter, lover/loved, not just the lesbian relationship between Violet and Vita. It is about how these people were able to resolve (or not) the many issues in their lives and the kind of happiness they achieved.

Rating:
Summary: A Tour of Two Worlds
Review: Most of us are commoner, middle class and heterosexual. We don't give thought to other worlds until something strange happens--the murder of Versace or the death of Princess Diana. This book lifts up the rug on these two worlds and allows us to glimpse at something quite alien from our own. Beneath the upper crust of society there is a social dictum that allows the rich and the well-connected to be "doing it and excusing it" as long as it's done with discretion. Behind the facade of certain marriages are gay people in hiding--arranged marriages of convenience. It is a social hypocrisy that didn't start with the Edwardian era but it certainly continues through today. Billed as a double bio, this book is more the biography of Violet Trefusis, lesbian daughter of Alice Keppel, King Edward VII's mistress and the great-grandmother of Camilla Parker-Bowles. But to tell the story of Violet, one must understand Alice and the Edwardian social set. This story is a tour through strange worlds indeed, richly told with text from the letters and published works of the main characters. This is biography that gives you the pathos of real people. Diana Souhami tries to balance the scales by telling the story of the famous lesbian affair between Vita Sackville-West and Violet Trefusis from Violet's point of view. One feels sorry for Violet but also annoyed. How long does it take for Violet to accept that Vita isn't willing to commit to their relationship? Violet, the victim, is a self-deceiving at best, dense at worst. Violet hasn't inherited her mother's ability to make the best of whatever social situation she's in. That's the ultimate tragedy of it. The hypocrisy of society will be with us forever. Only the strong learn to use it to their advantage. It's a lesson we all learn, whatever our place in this world.