Finding a Lover for Life: A Gay Man's Guide to Finding a Lasting Relationship (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies)

Rating:
Summary: What's the Big Mystery?
Review: A tip. You'll meet him through a shared interest, you'll bond with him through discovering shared values. The one you want is not at the bars and clubs. He's home on a Friday night like you are. Forget about him and go take a pottery class, a cooking class, a sailing class, a riding class, whatever. Meet friends. Let them know you're looking. Maybe they'll introduce you. The main thing is with an obvious shared interest it's easy to start talking and to keep talking. And if you're not making progress, go out more often. Finally, realize that the issue keeping you from him may be you and your own biases. Maybe he's not the most "obvious" choice. Maybe he's the guy in the cafe with the arty glasses writing on a laptop and seeming content in his own company. It's not rocket science here, but when the tools you've been using aren't working you need to try new ones. Damn, I'm going to write a book on this myself! :)

Rating:
Summary: What's the Big Mystery?
Review: A tip. You'll meet him through a shared interest, you'll bond with him through discovering shared values. The one you want is not at the bars and clubs. He's home on a Friday night like you are. Forget about him and go take a pottery class, a cooking class, a sailing class, a riding class, whatever. Meet friends. Let them know you're looking. Maybe they'll introduce you. The main thing is with an obvious shared interest it's easy to start talking and to keep talking. And if you're not making progress, go out more often. Finally, realize that the issue keeping you from him may be you and your own biases. Maybe he's not the most "obvious" choice. Maybe he's the guy in the cafe with the arty glasses writing on a laptop and seeming content in his own company. It's not rocket science here, but when the tools you've been using aren't working you need to try new ones. Damn, I'm going to write a book on this myself! :)

Rating:
Summary: Sound Advice
Review: David Price has drawn a map to a healthy, long-term relationship. His extensive counseling and personal relationship experience strengthen the book's credibility. When any of us really admits it, we want a monogomous long-term relationship. We know this usually is not founded in a bar, as David points out, but in other places, and he gives several examples. Through a calm and rational approach, he takes us through the steps in finding that special guy. Especially memorable are his emphasis on shared values and his note that monogamy, while not for everyone, is the most realistic long-term model. He recognizes the challenges of gay dating and provides encouragement without condescending. One example of his practicality is suggesting we keep notes on the different people we're dating. Of course we would otherwise forget! It's not clinical as some might say but practical. His notion of getting to know several people on a gradual basis seems valid and hopefully something I will succeed in doing. He gives examples of when to be subtle and when to be direct. You'll finish the book thinking these ideas were very familiar but almost forgotten at a time when much do-what-feels-good-now advice is floating around. Of the several books I've read on building a gay relationship, this is the best.

Rating:
Summary: Finding a Lver for Life
Review: I struggled as a single person to develop healthy sexual and intimate relationships. I later discovered as I talked with my friends that they had the same problem. I began to read dating books, but most of them were directed at single females. This book is aimed at single gay and bisexual men and really offers an alternative to the usual bar and cruising scene. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is serious about developing a lasting relationship.