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Summary: Essential Reading for Navigating Successfully in the Altsex
Review: An essential book for anyone who knows someone in an alternative lifestyle or lives it... A very useful tool for navigating the world with grace. So often, it's the little considerations that can avoid hurt feelings and convey our most sincere and good wishes... and yet it can be so difficult to say / do the right thing. Mr. Cambell's humor, knowledge and compassion gives us a helping hand in building better interpersonal, inter-community and intra-community relations. I'm glad that finally there's such a book.... We can all learn something from this. I did. I would also consider giving this book to any non-kink friend and family of altsexers. Oh, did I mention that it's really funny too! I am happy to report that I have added "Bride Wore Black Leather..." to many of my suggested / required reading lists as part of my instructional materials for the various SM / Fetish educational seminars that I teach across the country. Enjoy the good reading! Sincerely, Fetish Diva Midori SM / Fetish Educator & Writer
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Summary: An Etiquette Guide for Alternetive Lifestylers
Review: Drew Campbell could in a sense be called the "Miss Manners" of etiquette for those into alternative lifestylers. In this book, he covers a wide variety of etiquette topics, ones that those in so-called "vanilla" stituations would never encounter, but ones that crop up in kink-friendly situations. Good etiquette and protocol is seemingly a lost art these days, and a book like this is certainly welcome. I liked Drew's observation on Old Guard/New Guard protocol. This is a somewhat mythical area that everyone in the kink scene has strong opinions about. Drew's sense of humor at times will keep you well entertained as you learn the "ins and outs" of proper etiquette. A great book for anyone who appreciates etiquette and proper protocol and those who want to learm more about it. Also Recommended: Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual & Training With Miss Abernathy, both by Cristina Abernathy.
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Summary: Miss Manners for the extremely, er, eccentric.
Review: I admit it; I bought this book mainly because Donna Barr, one of my favorite artists, illustrated it. However, I found it quite enjoyable reading, both for its look into subcultures I hadn't known existed (and sexual variations ditto) and for its calm, "Miss Manners" approach to etiquette for extremely non-traditional people, social situations, and subcultures. It would be quite useful to anybody who wants to get into this sort of activity, as well as to those who find that a loved one is involved and want to know how to react and what to say.
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Summary: Miss Manners for the extremely, er, eccentric.
Review: I admit it; I bought this book mainly because Donna Barr, one of my favorite artists, illustrated it. However, I found it quite enjoyable reading, both for its look into subcultures I hadn't known existed (and sexual variations ditto) and for its calm, "Miss Manners" approach to etiquette for extremely non-traditional people, social situations, and subcultures. It would be quite useful to anybody who wants to get into this sort of activity, as well as to those who find that a loved one is involved and want to know how to react and what to say.
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Summary: An excellent resource!
Review: I don't usually post reviews but this book is so unique, so useful, so needed in the Alt.sex community, that I am compelled to comment. I found the BDSM scene four years ago. I had many questions about how to navigate the community in a polite and respectful manner. Once in the BDSM community, I crossed paths with transgender folk, polyamorous folk, and queer folk. This has been a journey of discovery for me and at times I've been at a loss how to interact and build friendships - I wasn't sure about the etiquette and I didn't want to offend people in the process of getting to know them. This book would have been a tremendous help. And actually, after reading it, is an interesting and engaging etiquette guide for interactions with the world at large. It is useful for navigating dating within any community, social events (parties, weddings) in any community, and delivers good advice for the workplace as well. In many cases I found my initial judgment of how to approach new people was correct. I was relieved to see that in some cases, the reactions I had seen were inappropriate from the other party. But in other cases, I found new strategies for showing empathy and respect. I did disagree with one statement in the book: The author's opinion on public displays of affection at large street fairs (Pride & Folsom Street Fair) is that anything beyond hand holding and social kissing is not appropriate. These events are targeted at encouraging people with alternative lifestyles to be proud of that lifestyle and is one of the few places that you *can* freely express your sexuality. I believe that attendees understand that in advance and the "displays" they see are not a surprise, therefore, acceptable. But the book gave me another perspective on this situation. This book is now at the top of my "what to recommend to a newbie" in the scene list. No, it doesn't address the play & safety issues that must be considered before jumping into BDSM play, but it gives you a foundation for respectful communication that really is required before those other conversations should occur.
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Summary: A Must Own!
Review: If you care about good manners - and you should - and you are or enjoy relationships with SMers, leatherfolk, the polyamorous, pagans, transgendered folk and others who are usually left out of etiquette books - this is THE book for you. Clever, entertaining, and useful, it's blessed with stunning illustrations as well as practical, elegant advice. My only criticism is that it's too short! I can hardly wait for more from Drew Campbell, one of my favorite authors.
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Summary: A good start to discussing the proper behavior ...
Review: in non-traditional relationships. This book is a series of questions and suggested answers about situations which most folks will never have to consciously deal with as long as homosexual, polyamoury, and bdsm are in the background. However for those of us who claims these different ways of living, the book is a helpful beginning. Personally I don't think anyone should blindly follow an etiquette book, but use the questions and answers to come up with the appropriate behavior for their community or at least to monitor their own behavior. Good etiquette is for everyone -- class, race, role, sexuality, sex, or gender are irrelevant when it comes to matters of getting along at the basic level. Or to paraphrase an expression: etiquette was developed so two people could avoid killing each other. There are some questions missing that I would have liked addressed. For example, when you've been at an event and you and yours have volunteered to assist someone in a demostration, how is that person best thanked? Who says thanks and how quickly? Or how do you make suggestions for changes in an event without hurting the organizers feelings? Or how do you protect victims of abuse without lending strength to the "traditional world's" negative image of your alternative group? Overall a good resource to begin discussions of etiquette from and to read together as a couple or group.
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Summary: A good dose of etiquette
Review: This is a must read for all the altsexers out there! In fact, even though I am altsexer myself, I found the information in here invaluable in my "normal" life. Many of the situations and attitudes that are pointed out by Campbell apply to everyday situations outside of the community. I found this book invaluable and an incredibly good reminder that people need to be polite to each other. In fact, I've read passages of this book to straight friends who have asked me how to act in certain situations and even though the book was meant for altsexers it worked fabulously in straight situations. I would say that this is an easy and fun read. It is something that I think everyone should read altsex or not. We could all use a dose of politeness everynow and then!
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Summary: Practical Advice for AltSex Folks
Review: This is an excellent, helpful guide to etiquette for folks who didn't think Miss Manners would work for them - although, as Drew slyly implies, she could! The book offers common-sense advice told humorously and well for folks who move regularly in non-traditional roles and relationship structures. I hope everyone in these categories (and really, who isn't?) gives it a read.
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Summary: Practical Advice for AltSex Folks
Review: This is an excellent, helpful guide to etiquette for folks who didn't think Miss Manners would work for them - although, as Drew slyly implies, she could! The book offers common-sense advice told humorously and well for folks who move regularly in non-traditional roles and relationship structures. I hope everyone in these categories (and really, who isn't?) gives it a read.
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