Love Undetectable : Notes on Friendship, Sex, and Survival

Rating:
Summary: Notes from the life of a survivor
Review: Andrew Sullivan made a reputation for himself by being elevated at a very young age as a senior editor of 'The New Republic', a position he filled from 1991-1996. He continues his journalistic career by writing for 'The Times' (London) and 'New York Times Magazine', as well as contributing articles to a large number of other periodicals.

At the height of his career, Sullivan made the announcement made the announcement that he was HIV-positive. In saying this, he made the assertion: 'I intend to be among the first generation that survives this disease.'

Sullivan has occupied a difficult position politically - tending toward conservatism that doesn't sit well with much of the homosexual community, he also tends toward political positions (such as pro-same sex marriage) that go against much of the conservative sentiment. In this first book, 'Virtually Normal', Sullivan argued for an acceptance of same-sex marriage; he followed that up by editing a collection of essays and contributions by others on the same topic.

However, his latest book, 'Love Undetectable', is a very different book. Insofar as Sullivan's life is inextricably bound up with political, historical, and sociological writing through his profession, that is reflected here, but this is a very non-political book. Consisting of three essays, it is primarily reflexions on the life of a survivor, who has yet to become a successful survivor - Sullivan himself.

Sullivan is bound to alienate all sides in some ways once again with this volume. He takes on both the church and religious side and the gay liberation side in his first essay: When Plagues End. 'The gay liberationists have plenty to answer for in this. For far too long, they promoted the tragic lie that no avenue of sexuality was any better or nobler than any other; that all demands for responsibility or fidelity or commitment or even healthier psychological integration were mere covers for "neoconservatism" or, worse, "self-hatred"; that even in the teeth of a viral catastrophe, saving lives was less important than saving a culture of 'promiscuity as a collective way of life', when, of course, it was little more than a collective way of death.'

Of course, this quotation is bound to please the fundamentalists, who would love to paint the gay community as a 'collective way of death'. But Sullivan doesn't go lightly on the other side, either. Sullivan recalls a time when the AIDS quilt was in Washington, and during a service at that time, in the heart of Washington's gay community, the priest at the church began a sermon with the words, 'Today, few of us know the meaning of a plague like leprosy....' Sullivan of course had words with the priest afterwards, and asked him quite bluntly if he had ever heard of AIDS.

This is a very personal journal of Sullivan's, presenting his arguments in full concert with his emotions and experiences, of friends who have been public and friends who have stayed silent about their orientation and their disease, those who are reckless with their health and those who are determined against their illness, as is Sullivan himself. A remarkable journal of an interesting person.

Rating:
Summary: Depravity Inescapable
Review: Probably Sullivan's best book, especially the passages on his own personal struggles with homosexuality. Here at least he is willing to describe the differences between gays and straights more honestly than in his other pieces, and certainly more honestly than most people. In my experience (and I wish it were not so!), gays tend to share some unpleasant character traits, such as effeminacy or lack of masculinity, cliquishness, and lewdness. Sullivan gives some societal causes for these things, such as a harsh childhood environment, and the hostility of parents and public [...]. This can indeed be expected to produce unhappy results, one of which might, perhaps, be promiscuity in certain individuals; but I doubt that the promiscuity would be so widespread and would continue well after adolescence, in much more lax and tolerant times, and even in the face of a deadly venereal disease, were it not for some strong natural and innate predisposition, taste, and desire. I myself have not noticed any correlation between gay promiscuity and childhood unhappiness-except perhaps a slight inverse correlation. When one considers further the lewdness, even pornography, of even the most well-regarded pieces of gay "romance" stories, of gay newspapers and magazines, of gay bars and personal ads, of gay parades and rallies-wherever and whenever gays feel, not oppressed, but most *free* to be themselves with themselves-one is forced to suspect that some unfortunate natural difference between gay men and heterosexual men must be at work.

Sullivan attempts to try to interpret these characteristics in a more favorable light, for example, that gays are more tolerant in their relationships and more realistic. I agree that these qualities can, in limited respects, be good. But from the point of view that is most interesting to me, as someone trying to assess the romantic possibilities, I disagree that something very good can be built on such things. I also disagree that these qualities can be conducive to the best friendships. There is much more kinship between love and friendship than he realizes (for example, true friendship is an exclusive bond between two, not a carefree open network among many).

Rating:
Summary: Depravity Inescapable
Review: Probably Sullivan's best book, especially the passages on his own personal struggles with homosexuality. Here at least he is willing to describe the differences between gays and straights more honestly than in his other pieces, and certainly more honestly than most people. In my experience (and I wish it were not so!), gays tend to share some unpleasant character traits, such as effeminacy or lack of masculinity, cliquishness, and lewdness. Sullivan gives some societal causes for these things, such as a harsh childhood environment, and the hostility of parents and public [...]. This can indeed be expected to produce unhappy results, one of which might, perhaps, be promiscuity in certain individuals; but I doubt that the promiscuity would be so widespread and would continue well after adolescence, in much more lax and tolerant times, and even in the face of a deadly venereal disease, were it not for some strong natural and innate predisposition, taste, and desire. I myself have not noticed any correlation between gay promiscuity and childhood unhappiness-except perhaps a slight inverse correlation. When one considers further the lewdness, even pornography, of even the most well-regarded pieces of gay "romance" stories, of gay newspapers and magazines, of gay bars and personal ads, of gay parades and rallies-wherever and whenever gays feel, not oppressed, but most *free* to be themselves with themselves-one is forced to suspect that some unfortunate natural difference between gay men and heterosexual men must be at work.

Sullivan attempts to try to interpret these characteristics in a more favorable light, for example, that gays are more tolerant in their relationships and more realistic. I agree that these qualities can, in limited respects, be good. But from the point of view that is most interesting to me, as someone trying to assess the romantic possibilities, I disagree that something very good can be built on such things. I also disagree that these qualities can be conducive to the best friendships. There is much more kinship between love and friendship than he realizes (for example, true friendship is an exclusive bond between two, not a carefree open network among many).

Rating:
Summary: The definition of solipsism
Review: Sullivan is the product of his background - an upper-middle-class Anglo-Catholic Oxford graduate. His book reads like a 250-page tutorial essay, except that no self-respecting Oxford tutor would let pass the mutliple inconsistencies and non-sequiturs in this tepid dribble of mental masturbation. He wants us all to be virtuous and abstinent, to replace our lovers with friends - yet in the year before his seroconversion he is so promiscuous that he has no idea who has infected him. A sermon in a Catholic church infuriates him, yet he goes on at inordinate length about the virtues of his faith and what we can learn from Jesus (pity he didn't learn modesty). His selective and misleading account of psychoanalytic theories of homosexuality would be risible if he didn't take his tedious self so seriously. He rightly attacks the notoriously homophobic analyst Charles Socarides, yet directs almost as much venom towards Richard Isay, an openly gay psychiatrist who has devoted enormous time and effort not only to working with gays but also to making such work respectable within the psychiatric profession in the USA.

Sullivan wants to replace love by friendship because he has never found love and is looking for intellectual explanations of this empty place in his life. It doesn't seem to occur to him that he is a smug, sanctimonious, pseudo-intellectual, right-wing prig whom any self-respecting gay man would run away from. Maybe one of his friends should tell him.

Rating:
Summary: Sullivan is always thoughtful and usually contoversial.
Review: The best reveiw I have read of Sullivan's book appeared this week in the Washington Post. I have heard Sullivan read from Love twice, and he makes the point that straight female reviewers concentrate more on the substance of the book and are more appreciative than many other readers. If you can locate that review, you may wish to read it. And there is much in his new book to appreciate. The three essays are pieces that recall the best of 19th century essay writing. And Love is also a religious confession, a love story, a prose elegy, and more. Sullivan is best as an essayist, though his personal recollections are as powerfully drawn as many novelists'. One of the highest compliments that can be paid Love was also true of Virtually Normal; even Sullivan's detractors are going to buy the book and devour it. Regardless of which side of the polical spectrum one is on, the strength of Sullivan's writing makes him required reading.

Rating:
Summary: Sullivan at His Best
Review: The most striking aspect of Andrew Sullivan's latest book, "Love Undetectable," is its personal subtext. It's markedly different from his landmark book, "Virtually Normal," in that Sullivan shares with us his own life.

In the first essay, "When Plagues End," he discusses his own sexual journey and how becoming HIV-positive reshaped his life. But not only that--Sullivan captures the feelings, moments and memories associated with his romances, spirituality and struggle for identity. It's a keyhole to a side of Sullivan we have never really seen, and it makes his writing more real and persuasive than ever.

"Virtually Abnormal," his second essay, is not as personal, but thoughtfully and persuasively articulated. Here he delves into the most current media debate about gays--the origins of homosexuality and whether it can be changed through psychotherapy. Sullivan presents several theories and arguments, from both sides of the fence (here his writing style does resemble "Virtually Normal"). No matter where he turns, from the "genetic" to the "environmental" theory, we see that each position holds a piece of the truth, and there are no hard answers. Sullivan concludes that even though homosexuality is neither strictly "normal" or "abnormal," we should pay attention to society's reaction toward it, since "its treatment is a critical indicator of the endurance of...liberty in a free society."

Friendship is the topic of "If Love Were All," in which Sullivan challenges us to reconsider and even resurrect the value of friendship. Gay friendships can be a model for straights, he says, since gay men are particularly good at forming lifelong bonds with each other. Sullivan argues that popular culture's notion of love has turned out to be "the great modern enemy of friendship," and we ought not discount the gift of true friendship--where candor and camaraderie are perhaps even more prevalent than in romantic relationships.

Finally, we glimpse into his personal world again, as Sullivan remembers his best friend's death. Sullivan admits that Love Undetectable is "a very Christian book," but not in the sense of fanatical fundamentalism or evangelistic Christianity. He fuses his discussions of spirituality with humanity, reminding us in a powerful way that we participate in our own destinies.

By the end of the book, we craved a fourth essay, perhaps tying the piece together (as he did in Virtually Normal's "What are Homosexuals For?") But he left us with the haunting images of death, life, and friendship, and we're left to wrestle with the meaning of all three.

Rating:
Summary: Not up to par ...
Review: The only response to reading this book is attempting to place a legal gag order on poor little Catholic gay boy Andrew Sullivan, who longs to be accepted by the Church and other upstanding folk. The same man who said he contracted HIV "accidentally, not recklessly" as to separate himself from the Bad Queer writes an intolerable, self-obssessed book which proves every last word from his critics. If you know whats good for you, don't read this!