Rating: 
Summary: This is a joke, right?
Review: That's what I thought when I saw the cover after unwrapping it (a gift). Then I read it, almost. My conclusion? We're doomed. How does this guy get hired to write anything? It's astoundingly bad. And he supposedly wrote a SERIOUS biography of Frank O'Hara? Hard to imagine after reading this. He must have terrible management.
Rating:
Summary: The ramblings of a dim-witted narcissist.
Review: The consistant vague emptiness of Gooch's writings show that this unsuccessful model/writer manque' must have slept with someone relatively powerful in the publishing world. This book sings hymns to the lazy mediocrity to which so many aspire.
Rating:
Summary: Pretty Dreadful
Review: The Great White Expanses between lines and the gigantic margins tip you off that this is not a "dense" book. I guess the reader is expected to take notes. Gooch's advice and chatter is akin to bar talk, three glasses of wine minimum. It's harmless stuff, but hardly anything one would expect of a middle-aged, mature gay man. Gooch tries, but his profound narcissism defeats him at every turn -- or mirror -- found in this book.
Rating: 
Summary: A book of simple but insightful exercises
Review: This self-help book for gay man is full of exercises in which one can get in touch with the person within oneself, the one who lingers deep in our unconscious and the one who attempts to speak words of wisdom. Often gay men wonder why they do not have a boyfriend. Gooch is writing that all men do and he is within them. By find this friend people, gay or straight, can come to know themselves better, make better choices and rely on their own resources for deriving meaning from life. Upon achieving this, anyone, gay or straight, can be a better lover, husband, wife or friend. For five of the six chapters the exercises described by Gooch seemed simple enough as well as perhaps a bit simple. In Chapter 6 Gooch write that love makes you feel loved. He was not discussing romantic love, which can certainly be a part of this love. He was speaking more directly to the kind of love that comes out of oneself. He spoke of volunteering. He wrote of responding to "charitable" causes or acts, such as visiting a sick friend. In these activities, Gooch advises the reader that one can experience a good feeling, but more important this type of loving nourishes one's own need to be loved. Love makes you feel loved. This insight is probably nothing new to people who practice various religions. But it is an insight that needs constant renewing. I think it is the most valuable chapter of Gooch's book. Gay people would do well by reading this book. While its insights may seem simple and simplistic, following the exercises can actually help to re-focus on one's most important values. A sort of examination of conscience without the guilt.
Rating: 
Summary: Finally some sanity......
Review: What a relief..we all feel the same way no matter how "good looking" we are. It's time the gay community wakes up to some reality and not the madison avenue portrait painted for us. Living in plastic west hollywood this is an oasis to bathe in.
Rating: 
Summary: Hoisted with His Own Petard
Review: Whatever helpful advice this book might offer is almost completely overwhelmed by the author's shallow, materialistic, and status-conscious description of himself. Brad Gooch, as revealed in FINDING THE BOYFRIEND WITHIN: "My research on this spiritual book was leading me down a winding road that included releasing toxins at the Chopra Center for Well Being in La Jolla . . . [and] attending a different church every Sunday. (My favorite was Saint Francis Xavier Roman Catholic church, because it had the cutest guys.)" (p. 14). "In Awareness Exercise Four, I derived pleasure from noticing that my developed shoulders were as sturdy as a wooden coat hanger" (p. 68). "Or one evening I'm feeling jet-lagged from a hard day at work and just want to nestle in front of the TV and watch an A&E biography of Jackie O, but a friend has made reservations at a trendy French restaurant with a stiff reservations policy" (p. 78). "I did receive a rush from that purchase. And was pumped to go on to other stores: Kenneth Cole, Armani, Gap, Banana Republic" (p. 87). "My filmmaker boyfriend was away for five months, working in Europe" (p. 130). "The inspiration I was drawing on for my unwelcome suggestion during our dinner of scrambled tofu and steamed vegetables had occurred during my then-recent New Year's retreat at the ashram in the Catskills" (pp. 144-45). "When my alarm clock goes off at 7:30 in the morning to rouse me to see my trainer, all I want to do is to press the snooze button" (p. 150).
Rating:
Summary: A waste of paper
Review: When I first found this book I had recently broken up with my boyfriend. This book, I thought, sounded like something that would help me over those post-relationship blues. Well, it did alright! I was too busy alternating between groaning at all the little "cutesy-isms" in the book, complaining at the over-simplifications and being generally angry about the number of trees that were chopped down to print the book. Frankly, it reads like a Cosmopolitan article in which the genders have been changed and pages of useless padding added. This book has about as much relevance to being gay as a paint-by-numbers set has to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Rating:
Summary: Like all things in our lives, it either works or it doesn't
Review: While reading BFW I did find myself saying "he just put this in to make himself look good"... and I also found myself saying "wow, that is so true". This book is one you'll love and put to good use right here and now, or you'll throw it in the trash, having nothing good to say about it or the author. I put it to good use! The exercises are helpful. I as a norm, don't get too insightful with myself. The exercises are simple, short, to the point and a joy. I came to self realizations I never would have independently and even found my BFW in a delightful and timely manner thanks to the reading. The story examples are cute, some self-centered,(of course the stories are about Brad, so how could they not be self-centered in some way?) but useful stories none the less. Like most self help books you get what you put into them and enjoy them depending on where you are in your life. If you didn't find Mr. Gooch's book helpful, you weren't supposed to, but don't throw it away just yet. Someday down the lane, you will have a "moment" and the book will have changed the way you think of relationships with others as well as with yourself. I believe every gay man, and some straights, will find Mr. Gooch's book "Finding The Boyfriend Within" helpful and useful at some point in their development. If you are in a bad space, truely desire change and want a healthy outlook on your relationships, then this is the book for YOU.
Rating:
Summary: Like all things in our lives, it either works or it doesn't
Review: While reading BFW I did find myself saying "he just put this in to make himself look good"... and I also found myself saying "wow, that is so true". This book is one you'll love and put to good use right here and now, or you'll throw it in the trash, having nothing good to say about it or the author. I put it to good use! The exercises are helpful. I as a norm, don't get too insightful with myself. The exercises are simple, short, to the point and a joy. I came to self realizations I never would have independently and even found my BFW in a delightful and timely manner thanks to the reading. The story examples are cute, some self-centered,(of course the stories are about Brad, so how could they not be self-centered in some way?) but useful stories none the less. Like most self help books you get what you put into them and enjoy them depending on where you are in your life. If you didn't find Mr. Gooch's book helpful, you weren't supposed to, but don't throw it away just yet. Someday down the lane, you will have a "moment" and the book will have changed the way you think of relationships with others as well as with yourself. I believe every gay man, and some straights, will find Mr. Gooch's book "Finding The Boyfriend Within" helpful and useful at some point in their development. If you are in a bad space, truely desire change and want a healthy outlook on your relationships, then this is the book for YOU.
Rating:
Summary: Narcissism 101
Review: Yes, we do need a certain degree of self-love and self-absorption. It is, after all, considered a normal stage in the development of children. It becomes alarming when an individual of Mr Gooch's age tends to harbor such an exaggerated sense of his own self-importance and uniqueness, is excessively occupied with fantasies about his own attributes and potential for success, and usually depends upon exterior objects for reinforcement of his self-image. His lack of empathy and a propensity for taking advantage of others in the interest of self-aggrandizement is simply disturbing... If you want to learn more about yourself, read the classics of modern psychology, not this sad example of airport literature.
|
