In My Father's Arms: A True Story of Incest (Living Out)

Rating:
Summary: Facing Unthinkable Truths of Human Suffering
Review: "The eyes scream what the lips dare not whisper" -- these are images of father-son sexual abuse that no one should have to live with in their head and Walter de Milly and other victims should not have to live with alone.

Walter de Milly's short memoir remains one of the precious few opportunities to truly experience the utterly horrifying truths of father-son incest in all its sickening complexity and to understand the rank evil lies and trickery of an unstoppable and selfish serial male target pedophile. Deeply disturbing in its beautiful poetic prose; tragically ultimately lacking in the crucial summary naming of this "father" as exactly the unspeakably sick monster that he was, a pedophile who belonged in prison or a mental institution. In My Father's Arms remains a study in the triumph of evil -- nevermind a pedophile father's "mental illness" -- enabled in a deeply disturbed "loyal, loving and sentimental" (and tragically naive) family. You will never forget Walter's Southern story of a dissociative and multiple personality disorder producing "good" family, and he and other shattered victims of the X-Files insidiousness of father-son incest and male target pedophiles will never be out of your prayers after. The classic People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck and the astute Intimate Worlds by Maggie Scarf are both wise companion reading. Highly recommended.

Rating:
Summary: touching
Review: A clear, wonderous gem. Told with special tenderness and honesty. The best book of this kind I've read. Worth more and more.

Rating:
Summary: touching
Review: A clear, wonderous gem. Told with special tenderness and honesty. The best book of this kind I've read. Worth more and more.

Rating:
Summary: In My Father's Arms
Review: As a psychotherapist that specializes in treating men with a history of sexual abuse and having been an incest victim my self, I have read a great deal of the literature and books on the subject. This is one of the best at really conveying the pain and impact upon a developing mind and body. A fast but powerful read that anyone who really wants to understand or to see that he was not the only one. I will recommend it highly in all of my workshops on abuse and to my clients that are ready to face their pain. I am grateful that Walter shared his pain and most of all his healing. It will help many.

Rating:
Summary: In My Father's Arms
Review: As a psychotherapist that specializes in treating men with a history of sexual abuse and having been an incest victim my self, I have read a great deal of the literature and books on the subject. This is one of the best at really conveying the pain and impact upon a developing mind and body. A fast but powerful read that anyone who really wants to understand or to see that he was not the only one. I will recommend it highly in all of my workshops on abuse and to my clients that are ready to face their pain. I am grateful that Walter shared his pain and most of all his healing. It will help many.

Rating:
Summary: Extraordinary book on many levels
Review: As you can well imagine, this material is rather hard to take. Mercifully the book isn't too long, and by that comment I simply mean that the author is never verbose. He doesn't allow his story to become maudlin. What struck me most was how sympathic the author is with his father. He is able to convey a myriad of conflicting emotions - confusion, anger, love - with a clear and candid style. What his father did to Walter and all those other boys was horrendous and, some would say, unforgivable. What this book did for me was to communicate the ambiguities in his father's character. This was not just a tragedy for Walter, but for his father as well. Don't misunderstand. I'm not condoning his father's actions. No, I'm just saying that one can understand and feel a certain pity for someone obviously afflicted by demons too powerful to fight or conquer. This is a very special book, both sad and optimistic, objective and pointedly direct.

Rating:
Summary: Validating and Real
Review: Currently trying to understand my own past, De Milly's story is told with such clarity and care, that after I put it down (i read it in one sitting) I felt comforted. De Milly confronts something most of us try to keep quiet, and he does so with grace and compassion. The book, undoubtedly a reflection of the man, is painfully sincere. Thank you Walter De Milly for opening the door for so many of us.

Rating:
Summary: Validating and Real
Review: Currently trying to understand my own past, De Milly's story is told with such clarity and care, that after I put it down (i read it in one sitting) I felt comforted. De Milly confronts something most of us try to keep quiet, and he does so with grace and compassion. The book, undoubtedly a reflection of the man, is painfully sincere. Thank you Walter De Milly for opening the door for so many of us.

Rating:
Summary: Beautiful prose
Review: I heard this writer read when he was a panelist at the Key West Literarty seminar, and was struck by the lyricism of his work. I bought the memoir immediately after, and have to add to the chorus of praise: This is a powerful and beautifully written book.

Rating:
Summary: Profound Understanding
Review: Taking a powerfully disturbing story and writing about it in a simple, almost poetic, manner is truly profound. Walter De Milly's personal story about child abuse, his relationship with his father, and his own way of dealing with it and understanding it, is a great accomplishment in the art of storytelling. The book deals with the loss of innocence, disturbing childhood memories, and the interaction between Walter and his father, both as a child and adult. One sentence in the book lends dramatic insight into the feelings of the author throughout his ordeal and the aftermath: "The eyes scream what the lips dare not whisper." One can only imagine how a boy's silence could be ignored when all one had to do was look into his eyes. It is a story well told and strongly felt by any reader.