Rating: 
Summary: Velveteen Reading as well
Review: In Jesse Green's newly released in paperback, "The Velveteen Father", he spends an entire book waxing philosophic about the joys and pains of rearing a child in today's world. It might be so tempting to pigeon-hole this book into convienient, politically incorrect categories (as several reviews have shown; to which I qiuckly respond: why are you reading this book in the first place?), but in doing so, the true message and meaning of the story is missed. This isn't a book about two gay men adopting a child, this book really is about adopting a child, and the joys and pains and complexities of child-raising. To me, the fact that a gay man is doing the adopting was secondary, but still an important part of the story.For anyone, the path of adoption is complicated and emotionally-charged, as Jesse so brilliantly captures in his book. He covers all the usual bases in his story (how to conceive a child, the conservative world that may fight him tooth and nail, personal childhood stories) but does it in a poetic, wordy manner that forces us as readers to slow down and feast. I highly recommend this book, along with "The Kid" by Dan Savage, for anyone of any sexuality wanting to adopt a child in today's complex world.
Rating:
Summary: Velveteen Reading as well
Review: In Jesse Green's newly released in paperback, "The Velveteen Father", he spends an entire book waxing philosophic about the joys and pains of rearing a child in today's world. It might be so tempting to pigeon-hole this book into convienient, politically incorrect categories (as several reviews have shown; to which I qiuckly respond: why are you reading this book in the first place?), but in doing so, the true message and meaning of the story is missed. This isn't a book about two gay men adopting a child, this book really is about adopting a child, and the joys and pains and complexities of child-raising. To me, the fact that a gay man is doing the adopting was secondary, but still an important part of the story. For anyone, the path of adoption is complicated and emotionally-charged, as Jesse so brilliantly captures in his book. He covers all the usual bases in his story (how to conceive a child, the conservative world that may fight him tooth and nail, personal childhood stories) but does it in a poetic, wordy manner that forces us as readers to slow down and feast. I highly recommend this book, along with "The Kid" by Dan Savage, for anyone of any sexuality wanting to adopt a child in today's complex world.
Rating: 
Summary: Self-delusion brought to narcissistic new heights
Review: In prose that's creepily precious, Green ostensibly describes the complex world of caring surrounding his male lover's little boy. But in fact the book reveals a fantasy of the author's own making, which doesn't bode well for the boy -- or the relationship with the kid's father for that matter. A prime example of the urban liberal bleeding heart party line absorbed into one man's consciousness so deeply that he can't see the forest from the woods. The underlying message is that the reader is supposed to applaud these men simply because they are gay. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way guys.
Rating:
Summary: An elegantly written memoir of Gay Adoption and Partnership
Review: Jesse Green has crafted an important memoir which is certainly particular to our culture. Twenty years ago who ever thought there would be discussion about adoption by gay men and lesbians? Mr. Green exposes complicated and sensitive political issues: gay relationships, gay children and their families, gay political dialectics and just being who you are in this difficult world. He challenges his readers to examine their own lives and attitudes about friendship, intimate relationships, family and then, within the fabric of this writing manages to write a compelling love story. Gay life is: possibility (ever seeking); serendipity ( I know someone you might want to meet); skepticism (why would you want to adopt?); contempt (Who does she think she is); humor (the idea of a Queen Lear of Brooklyn); challenge (OK, try me); and tragedy (HIV and its consequences, for one). Mr. Green leaves us thinking about life and it's many options and suggests none are closed to us, unless we refuse to open the pod. This is a classic memoir if you agree that classics provoke alot of heated discussion and provide a powerful historical perspective of a time, place and people.
Rating:
Summary: Narcissistic even for a memoir.
Review: Jesse Green is the very definition of an unreliable narrator. Let's see: He hasn't adopted his lover's two sons; he doesn't live with them; and his lover named his brother in Detroit, not Green, as the boys' legal guardian if something should happen to him. Yet Green considers himself a father, enough to write a whole book about it. He is an accomplished prosesmith, but I can't imagine a snarkier, more narcissistic book. Read Daniel Mendelsohn's brilliant "The Elusive Embrace" instead.
Rating:
Summary: beautiful and beautifully written
Review: Jesse Green's writing is as subtle and precise as the writing of anybody in America today. I was stunned over and over by its quality, its balance of irony and (true) sentiment. This is a work of great richness: part essay, part personal memoir, part social commentary, all of it valuable and - one hopes - lasting.
Rating: 
Summary: Lives up to title's promise
Review: Loved THE VELVETEEN RABBIT, so implied theme of this book appealed to me. By the time I realized the book was about gays, I was hooked into the beautiful writing and the moving history of a man becoming a father - Jesse and Andy's sons are lucky to have them as parents. I do not know them, so I cannot guarantee thier story is true, but it resonated with me and reflects my own experience as a "normal" parent. I believe in them. But then, I live in decency and with love, so I find no problem in seeing these also in other people, even if their lifestyles are different from mine. Why can't everyone see that? Can't they see beyond their own reflection in the mirror?
Rating:
Summary: A male Joan Crawford in the making
Review: Mr. Green seems so self-involved, so conscious of his own role model image, that one wonders what really lurks beneath the do-gooder, P.C. facade. Reading this book brought to mind Mommie Dearest, in which Crawford wanted the world to see her in an angelic aura but the cracks in her psyche ruptured. It wouldn't surprise me at all, based on this overly sincere book, if something similar eventually occurs in the Green household. His boyfriend and "their" child had better stay on their toes. This guy is trying too hard.
Rating:
Summary: Engrossing and informative
Review: My husband and I both enjoyed the book immensely. For those outside gay society, he provides insights into the search for meaning that many gays go through, since they usually don't have the simple fix of having kids. The book is most interesting in its discussion of his lover's background, the history of gay parenthood, and descriptions of life with the kids. As some other readers have indicated (rather harshly), the section on his own past is not that interesting and could have been greatly condensed (maybe because his childhood was so ordinary). Possibly the author is just being hard on himself, because he portrays himself least sympathetically of all the characters -- as a somewhat aloof, cold person. Despite this, the book is compelling and a good read. It's a pleasure to read a book on parenthood and adoption that is well written, since there are many, many poorly written ones out there!
Rating:
Summary: Self-serving saccharine
Review: Reading this surface-sweet ode to gay parenthood, I was struck by the unsettling feeling that Mr. Green is ultimately more concerned with himself than with actually rearing another living person. Which left me with a frighteningly bad taste. Disturbing in its ultimate implications.
|
