Rating: Summary: A Cheat is Still a Cheat Review: "I think that abusing people who give you their bodies, minds, and souls by not being honest and true is a sin." I couldn't agree with J.L. King more. On the DownLow, is about more than, 'A Journey into the lives of straight Black Men who sleep With Men.' At the heart of J.L.'s story there is insight into the minds of those who fail to offer their partners a choice in accepting their lifestyles.There are those willing to compromise their morality for the sake of maintaining a relationship. If we have any interest in upholding traditional values, slowing the spread of HIV, STD's, arresting the moral degradation, etc., in our culture then we must take responsibility for our own actions and this is the message J.L. King conveys in his fact-filled snapshot of men who sleep with men. Yes, anyone checking the facts as I've done will soon learn that African American women and Blacks in general contract the deadly disease faster than any other race, but the issue is greater than D.L. men. Are we willing to pay with our lives to be lax when it comes to our lovers? J.L. King urges that we take a stance, because just maybe the price we will pay will be our very lives. Taking charge of our physical and mental wellbeing may mean ousting our lovers...are we up to the task? Anyone seeking useful information of facts on AIDS, or the D.L. Brotha mentality, should read this book that boils down to Health and Wellness and I've categorized it as such.
Rating: Summary: Our Book Club gave this book a thumbs down review Review: "On the down Low" really didn't inform you on how to spot a man living on the down low. It just made you paranoid about every man around you, anyone can be gay. The best advice is do not have sex until your married and get him tested too.
We really had a problem with the author talking about everybody else's story and not enough about himself. In addition, I didn't like the comment the author made: sleeping with men is no longer a sin because he doesn't lie to women about his life. Sex with a man is a sin no matter what and having sex out of wedlock is a sin. The media hyped this book up.
Rating: Summary: Down Low a fancy way to justify irresponsible behavior Review: After reading this book I a truly disgusted with the author who hides behind the word "straight" to describe his behavior. I was also astounded that he would attack the African American Churches for their failure to embrace his "Free Will" Lifestyle. I left this book with a feeling that this is a dangerous book for young men who may be vulnerable to the seduction of older predatory males. I was fascinated by the authors admission that he and other men experience feelings that he described at being out of body and involved talking in voices not their own. This has sometimes been descrbed as demonic. However, he gives you conflicting information because on one hand he claims to be disgusted with his conduct but other places he tells you that he is ok with his lifestyle. It is these conflicting messages that make the author and others like him dangerous to African American Women. I recommend that if you read this book you be very careful about the message you take from this book.
Rating: Summary: I Returned the book Review: Credit is given to Mr. King (2 Stars) for having the gumption to come 'out'. However, he mislead his readers, as well as those who viewed him on Oprah into thinking that he had just gotten caught, if you will. He was caught by his wife 20 years ago...not last year or year before that. Also, I found his CDC statistics to be a little off base, simply because they were incomplete. According the the CDC's Dr. Valleroy, who is a lead epidmiologist, the statistics cited in Mr. King's book came from an article out of USA Today, the Washtington Post and the Chicago Times. They got their information from an "on-going 5 year" study back in March 2001. Those stats were incomplete because the results were just concluded this year and the surveillance results were released in Thialand in July 2004. Also, the Young Men's Survey, it is called, were given to young men ages 13-22 who have had sex with men and women, in six major cities...NOT BLACK MEN ON THE DOWN LOW, who frequented gay bars, etc. Places where gay people hang out, if you will.
I will admit, there has been an increase in positive results of HIV/AIDS in African American women, however, let's not place the blame solely on our Black men. Yes, there are Black men on the down low, but there are also Black women who chose not to use protection with their partners, as well as IDU, intravenous drug using women. What are those statistics? How many of those women that are positive are married? Do we know those numbers? Before giving such a blanket statement as he has done in his book, at his workshops, and on Oprah, I think he should've completed his research. I think it was an awful scare tactic. And yes, more attention needs to be given to HIV/AIDS in our community, but I think putting out bogus information was the WRONG way to do it. Now women are looking at the men, looking for "signs" to see if they're on the 'DL' . Most are probably innocent as innocent gets.
One last thing, if a man is on the 'DL', be he Black or White because Black men aren't the only ones, he is going to do everything within his power to avoid being found out. Hanging out a gay bars and parks, going to 'DL' parties, which I found hilarious etc., makes the term a bit contradictory wouldn't you think?
I can't take his story away from him, because it is his story, however, I did chose to return the book and get my money back.
Rating: Summary: Secret Fraternity? Review: Down low is not difficult to say or spell, in a generic sense. Abbreviated DL, down low is a term used by "straight men" that have sexual relationships with both men and women but do not associate themselves with the homosexual community. They are just men. The result of this behavior has not only caused women to become distrustful of men but has also caused many unsuspecting women to become HIV positive. J.L. King gives a sobering, first-hand look at a reality that has plagued the Black community for so long. He is bold enough to step forward and give us this reality check in non-fiction form.
J.L. King, a former DL brother, gives us a candid look at the DL lifestyle. He started a website soliciting stories (and used some of his own) to demonstrate the reckless behavior of these men, their style, look and reasoning. The story that touched me the most is the one of Nigel. He is a high school student aspiring to go to college and has a girlfriend he wants to marry. He feels his good looks will take him many places. He also has a mentor who happens to be a DL brother. After Nigel tells him about the promise of a modeling career, the mentor wants to educate him about the DL lifestyle but doesn't know how to do it. He fears Nigel will eventually be "turned out" if he's not careful. The scenario is risky especially since his mentor doesn't want him to feel as though he is coming on to him in any way. Does the mentor ever have that "talk" with Nigel?
A plethora of questions begin to invade your mind as you read. What does a DL man look like? He could be any brother you encounter on a day-to-day basis. Your neighbor, your co-worker or your minister...yeah, I said your minister! His "look" isn't limited to the stereotypical "limp wrist, flamboyant" type brother. He could even be the man you sleep with every night. How do you detect a DL brother? If the method of detecting a DL brother were that obvious then it would make use of the term null and void. The whole point is to remain incognito, by any means necessary.
On The Down Low, addresses many subjects using DL lingo and terms, but not enough pages are used; the book is not big enough. I was saddened by many of the stories and yet I still craved more information. Like J.L. says, "This issue is not going away anytime soon." This is not the beginning and definitely will not be the end especially with the alarming HIV/AIDS rate in the Black community. Why are so many heterosexual Black women in monogamous relationships contracting HIV/AIDS? On The Down Low gives statistics and facts about this epidemic. J.L. recommends that DL brothers come forward, be honest about who they are and stop their destructive behavior with their unsuspecting victims. He advises women not to be afraid to ask lots of questions, while being careful not to alienate a good brother. Last but not least, do not be afraid to demand HIV/STD results before starting a sexual relationship. I recommend this book for everyone: men, women and teenagers.
Reviewed by Esther "Ess" Mays of Loose Leaves Book Review
Rating: Summary: In Retrospect this a review of the subject, not the book Review: For me cheating is cheating no matter the sex or the species!
I found this book to be an excuse for why men are doing this. I agree with other reviews this is NOT A BLACK THING, this is a UNIVERSAL THING. There are many men, many people how are not being honest with themselves, so how can they be honest with anyone else when they are in a intimate relationship. Someone famous I believe it was Frued said that by nature we are all bisexual, but society forces uses to be heterosexual and that causes us to lie and use each other. However I am a woman, I believe that at my age I know myself and and what I want, and that is a man. Can a lot of other people say they know what they want, because that is when you have to be I also know what i could accept and that is HONESTY. I believe one thing that a lot of people from different backgrounds need to do is to TALK/ASK/QUESTION the sexual history of the person they are involved with. Some great advice I have always listened to was "A WOMAN MUST TRUST HER INTUITION", somethimes that all we have.
Rating: Summary: Author of My Husband is On the Down Low and I Know About It Review: I give Mr. King three stars for the national exposure and awareness of HIV/AIDS.
I found it interesting that Mr. King stereotyped Black men. However, the issue at hand is the rise in HIV/AIDS in the African American community. I give credit for that exposure on the topic, however, the blanket statement of stereotypes is troublesome. In his book he said 'not all Black men are on the 'DL'"however, in the characteristic breakdowns, the Thug, Government worker, etc., could be any Black man.
On the 'signs' issue, there could be several signs. The signs mentioned in the book are those seen only in public. What about those that take place in the home; some do exist. Not only the neglect and withdrawal is noticeable in the home/bedroom, but there are a lot of other signs, depending on what the couple is into.
Rating: Summary: Surprise, Surprise! Review: I gotta give props to Mr. King for lettin the cat outta the bag ... guess what, not every man who has sex with other men is "GAY" (and white and skinny and teaches "straight" men how to dress). I hope the real world will pick up on the bottom line message of this book: peoples' sexual behaviors and the labels they use to describe their behaviors and identities often do not match. You gotta be open and honest or you gotta deal with the consequences. Furthermore, lots of people are gonna get freaky behind closed doors and NOT talk with anyone about it so protect yourself accordingly. Gee I wonder if the "heterosexual" AIDS epidemic in sub-Saharan Africa could actually be driven by "heterosexual" DL men who have sex with men too? (I've actually heard people say "they don't do that over there.") It sure wouldnt surprise me if they DO it and don't talk about it with the gay white university researchers who fly in, collect shotty information, and spit out all the "facts." You go J.L. Keep it real bro.
Rating: Summary: What is this world coming too? Review: I read the Amazon reviews on this book and decided to give it a chance out of my own curiosity. This is the first review I ever written. When it arrive in the mail, I could wait to read it. I wasn't too surprised what I read about gay men, closet homosexuals and bisexuals because it is the norm in our society in these last days. My regret is that innocent women are falling prey to these deceitful men. That's why ladies, we need to seek the face of God first and his righteousness then all the other things (such as a husband) will be added to us. I read in one review where the reviewer highly recommended a book called Lust Of The Flesh. I decided to go ahead and order it because the review sounded so promising and the title struck me. I cannot agree more with the reviewer. THAT WAS THE BEST NOVEL I EVER READ! I will have to agree and highly recommend this novel. You will NOT be able to put this book down. I have also written a review on this novel too. On The Down Low reminds us, as women, that we need to be aware of men that we meet. Ladies, we need to check them out thoroughly before making a decision to be with a man. Get his social security number, his driver's license number and run a check on the man. Talk to his friends, family, coworkers, his doctor, dentist and whoever else may know something about him. Let him know that you're only covering yourself.
Rating: Summary: "What A Darn Shame"!!! Review: I think Mr. J. King's book is part of his evil plot to self-promote himself & turn even more brothas' on to this nasty-germ traveling phenomenon!!! It's such a shame that a large number of our Beautiful, Handsome, Intelligent, Black men are being turned on & schooled about this *straight from hell* trend! God still has a plan for our Black American men....no matter how the devil tries to turn them out & destroy them as a whole! King, on The Oprah talk show said he still doesnt consider himself gay....now if this man doesnt come across as a complete nut-case, I dont know who does! No man can sleep with other men & enjoy it greatly each time & NOT no they're not gay/homosexual! That's insane! -- The one thing I do hope comes about as a result of this book being released is that MANY of those Down Low black men living in Atlanta Georgia & most of California [as well as other cities/states] will want to be more honest about there sexuality for a change with the growing number of black women testing postitive for HIV because of DL brother's actions!
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