Rating: 
Summary: Riveting story but doubtful argument.
Review: Mel White was raised in a Christian home but found himself endowed, apparently through no fault of his own or those around him, with an interest in men rather than women. The church told him his desires were wrong, and he needed to change. But he found himself unable to change,and came in the end to the conclusion that the church was wrong about homosexuality. Not only wrong, but bigoted, intolerant, hateful, and at the root of a broad national intolerance that encourages thuggery against gays. White told his story well, but left me wondering at what he left out. First of all, the premise of his argument seemed to be that people are endowed with one of two distinct sexual orientations. But there are plenty of people who fall into some other camp. If homosexuality is a gift from God, what about those who only find pleasure by giving pain? How about people attracted to children? They too could say, "I was born this way -- I have always had this desire -- God made me like this -- I can't help myself." In fact, some of them do say these things. With these parallels in mind, White's repeated untested assumption that if one cannot change one's orientation, it is therefore from God, seemed somewhat hollow and anything but persuasive to me. In fact, White seems to have forgotten the doctrine of the fall -- that not all in the world is as it ought to be, even in our genes or instincts. White tells us that "After decades of trying, we discovered that no one can change his sexual orientation." I am willing to grant that point, at least for the sake of the argument. But the Bible is not about orientation (which it says in all cases is somewhat warped) but about action. White also seemed to assume that "straights" are simply affirmed by Christian morality. But I didn't find White's account all that different from my own life. I also find the Bible confronting and restraining my natural urges every day. I married at 30. Before and after that, I tried, with some success and some failure (especially by Jesus' tough standards) to stay within the constraints Scripture lays down. I am not sure it is much easier now that I am married. One partner gets sick, ages, loses interest, husband and wife drift apart -- almost anyone who decides to live as a Christian will face difficult challenges in regard to sexuality. Everyone around Mel White goes to great length to say how honest he is. To be frank, many of his modes of argument seem somewhat devious to me. He claims to bring up the name of Adolf Hitler with reluctance when speaking of his old clients among the religious right, yet he does so repeatedly. He tends to paraphrase the so-called leaders of the religious right (who cares what Jerry Falwell thinks, anyway?) when citing such parallels, rather than using direct quotes. Often the sting lies in what he paraphrases, rather than the words he actually does quote. "Available studies show that those who attend church regularly. . . tend to be more disapproving of (gay and lesbian people.)" (Did they say people? Or acts?) He equivocates. "In far too many cases, those young haters came from Christian homes." (How many is too many?) His arguments are full of non-sequitors and hype. (Did Hitler and Stalin really quote the Bible when they "created gulags and concentration camps?" Having studied Marxism, I have yet to come across evidence of Bible studies in the Kremlin.) And why, having spent so much time looking for evidence to prove that thugs who beat up on gays were inspired by the religious right, did neither of the quotations he gave from the thugs mention anything about religion? White shows the enthusiasm of the convert, but also a great deal of the bitterness, and the quality of his writing (or should I say "their" -- he shifts towards the collective "we" of a spokesman or sectarian towards the end of the book) suffers at times. And yet, on his own account, all those Christians truly close to him have loved him as best they could. Who is he bitter at? And why did he mention so little of his children? He speaks with regret of the sexual pleasures he missed as a youth, and blames the church. Has it never occured to him that apart from those restrictions, whatever we say for or against them, he might not be alive? Isn't that worth something? As a story, I found Stranger facsinating, but as an argument, it brought up more questions than it answered, and seemed more than a little self-serving. author, Jesus and the Religions of Man
Rating: 
Summary: Goes to the 'heart' of the issue for Christian Homosexuals
Review: Mel White's book, Stranger at the Gate" is the first book which I have read on the struggle of the Christian homosexual with which I could identify. Our daughter has come out to us and we are constantly searching for resources to educate ourselves and help us to deal with the spiritual issue of homosexuality. Mel White comes across as a sincere Christian who tried to live his life according to his biblical upbringing which taught him that homosexuality was a sin. Mel shares his epic struggle to understand and interpret the scriptures which are so often quoted to "bash" homosexuals. The intensity of Mel White's beliefs add to his inner struggle and it is the intimate sharing of this struggle with the reader which gives the book its power. This book is a must read for those who are trying to understand why a person is gay and in the process of educating yourself, you will come to realize the need for compassion and understanding rather than judgment and rejection. I do not agree with all of Mel's statements 100% but I do believe in his tenent that a person can be christian and homosexual and live a meaningful life while making a positive contribution to the community. We all need to extend our limits of compassion and erase the ignorance that rejects another's liefestyle simply because we do not understand it. There is still a lot that I do not understand, but I am continuing to learn through insightful, courageous writers like Mel White.
Rating:
Summary: Goes to the 'heart' of the issue for Christian Homosexuals
Review: Mel White's book, Stranger at the Gate" is the first book which I have read on the struggle of the Christian homosexual with which I could identify. Our daughter has come out to us and we are constantly searching for resources to educate ourselves and help us to deal with the spiritual issue of homosexuality. Mel White comes across as a sincere Christian who tried to live his life according to his biblical upbringing which taught him that homosexuality was a sin. Mel shares his epic struggle to understand and interpret the scriptures which are so often quoted to "bash" homosexuals. The intensity of Mel White's beliefs add to his inner struggle and it is the intimate sharing of this struggle with the reader which gives the book its power. This book is a must read for those who are trying to understand why a person is gay and in the process of educating yourself, you will come to realize the need for compassion and understanding rather than judgment and rejection. I do not agree with all of Mel's statements 100% but I do believe in his tenent that a person can be christian and homosexual and live a meaningful life while making a positive contribution to the community. We all need to extend our limits of compassion and erase the ignorance that rejects another's liefestyle simply because we do not understand it. There is still a lot that I do not understand, but I am continuing to learn through insightful, courageous writers like Mel White.
Rating: 
Summary: The Truth About Growing Up Gay in America
Review: Mel White's story is similar to many I have heard about self-hate and hiding due to society's homophobia. What separates his apart from others is that he was raised in an evangelical Christian home and served as ghost writer to many of today's Religious Right leaders. His struggles and ultimate triumph to become a key force for truth and right in the fight for gay rights is wonderful to read. I greatly admire Mel, his work, and his spirit. I strongly recommend this book for any gay person struggling with his identity. For the record, I am a proud PFLAG dad.
Rating:
Summary: Every Christian should read this book.
Review: Mr. White seems a little too cynical about such Christian concepts as "soul-winning" without really making a point as to why. He's also a little too political for my taste and at times maybe a little too sexually explicit. However, this is the book I'd want my mother to read! Enough said....
Rating:
Summary: Essential reading for EVERYONE.
Review: One of the most remarkable men in America, Mel White, leads the reader through the story of his astonishing life. He is a true hero to millions, and his story should be in every library in America. Mel White lets the reader see the real life implicatons of church policies which effectively destroy the lives of millions of people worldwide. He brings a human face to a controversy which many people can not relate to, and thus need to have put in human terms. Upon reading this book, the reader knows he has just discovered one of the greatest living religious leaders of our day. Good companion reading to What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel Helminiak and the books of Bishop John Spong.
Rating:
Summary: A must read for those who are Christian and Gay and others
Review: Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America by Mel White is a compelling story that is a must read for anyone who has lived (or is living) the inner conflict of being Christian and Gay, and for any family member of such a person. Although there exist many ministry leaders and Christians who do not want to understand what the inner torment is like for us, for those of you who do, this book will give you insight (ask yourself W.W.J.D.?). You will see how the church has driven us into despair and many to suicide. You will see that we are real people with real emotions and are productive members of society who are also deeply loved by God. You will laugh and you will cry with the author. I have shed many tears, happy and sad, while reading this book. Although there are numerous differences between the author and myself, there are also all of the similarities of growing up in a conservative Christian church, living our youths and beyond with our deep secret and with no one to talk to or guide us, becoming married and having beautiful children and seemingly normal lives -- all the while wearing a mask, hiding and living with prejudice and hatred from within our own little unsuspecting circle and church.
Rating:
Summary: BUY IT
Review: The most inspiring book I've ever read. I am neither gay nor Christian, but I heard about White's persuasion with the Christian Coalition and was inspired to read his book. My life has been changed. Mel White is our modern Gandhi.
Rating:
Summary: A Must Read for any Gay Christian!
Review: This book is for any gay Christian man or woman who is looking for a coming out story that reflects more than a sexual awakening. Here is a personal journey similar to our own-- a spirtual quest to accept ourselves---and the realization that we are truly worthy of God's love. This is the first book that made me feel proud of being gay, and for the first time I was able to see my homosexuality as an integral part of the incredible person I was always intended to be. This book is a blessing, and tears down all the anti-gay rhetoric, doctrine and out-of-context scripture spewed by the religious right and hate mongers. Read the story of this brave man, and you will no longer feel like 'the stranger at the gate.' Also recommended: A Place at the Table by Bruce Bawer Coming Out of the Shame by Gershen Kaufman The Men of the Pink Triangle by Heinz Heger
Rating: 
Summary: Truly reprehensible, dishonest and deceptive!
Review: This book makes me wish that giving zero stars was an option! While the author gives the pretense of a sensitive and honest account of a deeply personal issue, he never comes close to breaking the surface. He never takes responsibility for betraying the trust of his family, the lies to his employers, or the moral and spiritual compromises and Scriptural distortions in the face of his alleged Christian commitment. His life seems to take place in a deeply narcissistic fantasy world where nobody matters but the author and his needs and desires. Instead, he delivers a monotonous litany of attacks on the people whose money he gladly took, the imaginary "religious right" whose "hatred" and misinformation campaign apparently continues to defame and victimize the unfortunate Mr. White. Give me a break! The second line of "thinking" is the continuous mantra of "God wants me to be a practicing homosexual because that's his design and special gift for me." If that is so, why is there no Scriptural evidence or even support in the Christian tradition for this idea? Why doesn't the book introduce us to new evidence in this respect? Mr. White wants us to believe that somehow God has cut a private deal with him that contradicts what is plain and obvious to the rest of us, and this book is here to tell us about it. As usual the false prophet is best recognized by the blatant self-interest of their message! While attacking the paranoid fantasy of a conspiracy of the religious right and any number of different shades of "gay haters" (i.e. those who conclude this lifestyle to be morally offensive), he denies even the existence of a homosexual social agenda. Yet he cites any number of unfootnoted and nebulously paraphrased statistics to make his "Christians hate gays" point while he keeps repeating the same tired slogans with the unthinking zeal of the new convert hoping that in their repetition the reader will be misled into believing them to be true. This kind of drivel advances in no way the theological, moral or social aspects of the "gay issue" discussion. If I am to believe that there is such a thing as a "gay Christian" this book certainly fails to give a credible argument. Instead, it definitely goes a long way toward giving that concept a truly bad name. While allowing for the fact that the author is obviously a deeply conflicted and confused man, I find myself compelled to remember that he is also a seasoned writer and knows exctly what he is doing. In that light, I find this mix of make-believe sensitive/vulnerable account and incessant manipulation truly reprehensible. Any committeed Christian will be all too familiar with the pains of falling short of perfect moral ideals (which is precisely the whole point of the Cross and grace of Christ), and homosexual practice is only one example of many. Still, denial and manipulation must never be passed off as the answer.
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