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Summary: Conservative Presbyterian minister says...
Review: "EVERY Christian should read this book" After coming out to my conservative Orange County former-fundamentalist preacher father he tearfully apologized for his unknowing bigotry and ignorance. For me it is not only a helpful tool to reach the "born-again" variety of "Christian", but anyone recovering from a Christian college or Youth for Christ/Campus Crusade background will do dé ja vu all over again! And HEAL! (Love, Dr.Dal)
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Summary: Tells the reader God loves the homosexual, too!
Review: A remarkable gentleman of God, stuggling with his identity. This man was a sermon writer for the big guys like Pat Roberston, Billy Graham, etc. Once Mel White realized he was living a lie about his identity, he shared lovingly the truth to his peers about his homosexuality. Unfortunately his peers were not as loving as he thought they would be. He was immediately rejected by the big guys too! His family, children and wife, dealt with his homosexuality but the fundamentalist that were his peer group wanted to pray for God to change that identity! What a poweful force! Reve Mel White inspires me. I have even heard him speak and he is awesome. Truly a man God would say "This is my son too!
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Summary: Best book on being gay/christian & previously married
Review: After divorcing and coming out my relationship with God was tattered and broken. While reading through this book my relationship was healed by the words of Dr. White. It was amazing the amount of parallels between both our lives that surfaced.I recommend it highly to any Christian just coming out or to any friend or family member of a glbt person.
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Summary: An extremely powerful, life-changing book
Review: An incredibly moving account of a major ghost-writer for some of the most famous Evangelical Christian leaders. He spent decades trying to overcome homosexuality. He never discovered peace until he recognized that his homosexuality was not a sinful behavor; it is part of what he is; something to be accepted and cherished. This book will change the lives of those who read it. Every parent who has had a son or daughter come out of the closet should read this book.
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Summary: Great Book
Review: As a 22 year old college student, and starting to be in the spotlight, this book expanded my mind, and most defentily helped me come out and be who I am. This book also gave me the history of our Gay Community, since i've read this book a few folks have come up to me and bashed me for who I am this book gave me reason to stand up for who I am and in fact changed their views on homosexuality.
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Summary: If you have any prejudices about homosexiality, read this!
Review: As a Christian, I feel that everyone should read this book. No matter where you stand on the issue, this book brings the pain and suffering to life of what Christian Homosexuals deal with. We as Christians are so judgemental about anything we do not understand, and this book helps us realize that gays are human, and deserve to be loved and accepted just like anyone else. Life is too short to fill it with hate.
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Summary: A breath of fresh air for Christian homosexuals
Review: As a married Christian man who has struggled for many years with the guilt of homosexuality, this book served both as a source of hope and a catalyst for action. It has helped me perhaps more than anything I've read to date to accept myself as a gay man, and to realize that God accepts me. That someone of Mel White's stature was willing to out himself to the world and fearlessly proclaim the truth after years of self-hatred and struggling has been a real inspiration to me. Like Mel, I have tried everything to bring about change, but change does not come. I am still trying to find the courage to end a 24-year marriage, which has produced three wonderful children. I love my wife deeply, and this is the most painful and difficult decision I have ever had to make. May I find the courage that Mel found, and eventually the peace that he found. Thank you Mel, for a life-changing book!
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Summary: Very Strong Start; Then the Book Goes Downhill Fast
Review: As I began to read Mel White's "Stranger at the Gate," I was impressed. Rev. White recounted with considerable affection his upbringing in a conservative Christian household. He seemed to be especially fond of his grandmother. I had to smile at the memories he shared of her. I was also moved at Rev. White's painful struggle with keeping his sexuality secret, even as a little boy. His isolation and pain are reflected all too often even today in people who are "different" in some way. His recounting of his experiences as a boy and teenager should serve as a call to Americans to be open-minded and kind-hearted to people who struggle the way Rev. White has struggled. Keeping one's deepest issues hidden is a sure recipe for emotional and spiritual disorder. Unfortunately, as Rev. White became a biological adult, I do not get the impression that he became an emotional or moral adult. Perhaps the traumas of his childhood imprinted his character to such an extent that he could never grow out of an infantile denial of his own responsibility for the actions he has taken as an adult. Rev. White admits to no fault during his entire life except for denying what he calls his "natural" sexuality, which meant a denial of pleasurable sexual experiences during his youth. However, seen objectively, much of Rev. White's behavior has been simply awful. Especially in the 1980s, much of his life has been one of deception and betrayal. He wilfully broke his marriage covenant with his wife to pursue numerous sexual relationships with men. It was as if Rev. White was not a human being, created in the image of God, who could act with moral agency. It was rather as if he were a rutting animal who could not help himself. Further, during the 1980s, although he had internally accepted being gay, he worked in high-profile positions for Rev. Jerry Falwell and Rev. Pat Robertson ... people he demonized in his book as being related to Nazis. Now, let us be clear about this ... a self-affirming gay man worked for years for Revs. Falwell and Robertson, men he considers the equivalent of Nazis. He *helped* them considerably. And yet, Rev. White expresses absolutely no sense of remorse at his service to these men. One must ask, did anyone ever force him to work for Falwell and Robertson? Could he have not earned his money in some other fashion? According to Rev. White, the answer appears to be "no." Frequently, when a question requiring a difficult moral choice has arisen, Rev. White has simply denied his God-given moral dignity and has acted as if he were completely helpless ... helpless in the face of his sexual urges, and helpless in the face of his desire to make money in the evangelical subculture. And, according to Rev. White none of his bad choices are ever, ever his fault. What kind of message is this to people who struggle with doing the right thing, even when it is difficult? Instead of St. Augustine, Rev. White's sense of responsibility reminds me of Bill Clinton. There are other significant problems with "Stranger at the Gate." Rev. White's attempts to make the Bible sound gay-affirming are patchy and superficial ... this book is *not* a work of theology. He simply asserts the Church has gotten this topic completely wrong for 2,000 years. To deny the unanimous witness of the Christian faith over two millenia is no small matter, and yet Rev. White treats it in a breezy, matter-of-fact way that will convince no one who is not already a card-carrying member of the gay caucuses in our denominations. Further, Rev. White's attacks on the "Religious Right" are a good example of hate speech. I am not affiliated with any organization controlled by Falwell or Robertson. I could never imagine supporting either one for political office. But repeatedly imputing Nazi-like views to them (while disclaiming, in Richard Nixon-like fashion, any attempt to do so) is repellent. It is also a way to avoid a serious discussion about the views of the "Religious Right." Linking a movement to Nazism is like throwing a verbal grenade that destroys all hope of dialog. Sadly, a book that started out so well descends into a pit of moral turpitude. Rev. White's book is a devastating attack on the message of Jesus Christ, which promises liberation from sin and the strength to perservere in the face of immense pressure. "Stranger at the Gate" is, in the end, an account of one man's decline from a strong believer in Christ to a broken, empty shell of his former self. This book does not offer hope to people struggling with their sexuality or other important issues. Rather, it offers a message of despair and failure.
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Summary: a painful issue
Review: As I try to understand the struggles of some relatives who are gay, I found the book helpful in it's honesty. However, I felt that at the end Mr. White went overboard in his tirade against the religious right. While I felt many of his arguments had merit, his repeated beating of that 'drum' watered down the authenticy of his message, putting him in the same role of 'accuser.'
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Summary: Don't look for answers here!
Review: Based on false premises, this book consistently reaches false conclusions. Several ideas are presented as scientific/objective fact that are at best opinions: First, homosexuality is an unchangeable, biologically determined condition. Second, it is God's gift. Third, to disagree with these premises makes a person a homophobe, or a "hater." The first premise is debatable at best (see Jeffrey Satinover: Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth, or the works of Mario Bergner and Leanne Payne). The theological examples purporting to make the second point are the usual straw men (Leviticus, Sodom, Onan). They do not address the much larger issues as raised by the order of Creation in Genesis ("one of _each_"). Furthermore, even after disputing the negative Biblical treatment of homosexuality, why is there a complete absence of positive examples of this "lifestyle" in the Bible? Where does the Song of Solomon portray any alternative ideals of sexual preference? How then can God give a "gift" that's contrary to His Creation and declared Will? Are centuries of Biblical scholarship and scores of scholars all wrong? The "homophobe/hater" argument and the "religious right" stereotyping are simply a thoroughly dishonest manipulation of the idea of tolerance: agree with me or you hate me and deserve to be marginalized--a polemic and intimidation effort as despicable as true homophobes and "gay bashers." Mr. White's decades of conflictedness in the absence of true answers and healing are obvious and painful to read about. (Cf. Philip Yancey's chapter on MW in "What's So Amazing About Grace"). Denial and manipulation, however, is not only harmful to the person committing it. It is simply cruel to self-servingly misinform those desperately seeking true answers.
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