The Well-Played Game: A Playful Path to Wholeness

Rating:
Summary: An Eloquent Celebration of Wisdom and Innocence
Review: This is an updated version of a book DeKoven wrote many years ago (1978). Its title could also be "The Well-Lived Life." Those who have read his Connected Executives already know how much importance he gives to enjoyable as well as productive human activity. Throughout human history, playing all manner of games has been and continues to be one of the human race's defining characteristics. For whatever reasons, some people view "games" as being merely recreational while others view them as trivial. DeKoven takes "games" very seriously because he seems to believe, and I agree, that in our contemporary society, there is a great deal of pleasure but very little joy. Unabashedly, DeKoven celebrates the playing of games well for the joy it can provide. Those of us who have been associated with the Special Olympics can attest to the great importance of participation for its own sake, rather than for any awards to be won. There are no "losers" among the participants in Special Olympics. In the games which really matter, there never are.

In his Preface, DeKoven refers to a "unique and profound synthesis" whenever a game has been well-played. Having explored the meaning and implications of this synthesis, DeKoven concludes that having fun is much more important than winning. The greatest competitors (in athletics, politics, business, whatever) manifest the "synthesis" which informs and directs DeKoven's observations throughout the book. That is to say, an athlete such as Michael Jordan, a politician such as Theodore Roosevelt, and a business executive such as Jack Welch ultimately compete only with themselves. They are literally obsessed with playing the given "game" to the absolute limit of their capabilities. They hate to lose, of course, but what they hate even more is to lose because of insufficient preparation, concentration, and engagement. There can never be any joy for them in a less-than-best effort. The well-played game is a celebration of their potential fulfilled...whatever the final "score" may prove to be.

If I understand DeKoven correctly, his fundamental thesis in this book is that all "games" should be well-played within a framework of "rules" agreed upon by participants. Even in the absence of such agreement, each of us must still be guided by both passion and delight in the playing of them as well as we can. Such "games" range from marriage and parenthood to career and citizenship. What we must do, DeKoven seems to suggest, is to validate the playing of games for the fun of it, whatever the eventual result may be; also, in so doing, to affirm excellence of effort (both our own and others') and thereby extend and enrich a sense of shared community; finally, by playing each game well "we might be able to raise the stakes infinitely."

DeKoven encourages me to wonder: What if we called "Time Out!" on verbal and physical violence in all forms throughout the world? What if we agreed to have a global picnic to which everyone is invited? In addition to an abundance of delicious food, there would be lively music, hot air balloons, pony rides, and group activities which include all manner of games plus kite flying, square dancing, and a karaoke contest. (Only heads of state would be allowed to participate in mudwrestling competition.) And why not have everyone wear one of those Dr. Seuss hats? Of course, such a global picnic will never happen but wouldn't it be fun? If national armies and allied forces can fight well together, surely they and their opponents can also play well together. DeKoven has almost unlimited faith in what the human race can accomplish if the "games" played celebrate both competence and joy...and are played well.