Girls! Girls! Girls!

Rating:
Summary: finally, a book by a chick that isn't chick lit
Review: a friend of mine wrote a novel, met with an agent. the agent basically told her that if she wants to get published, she should really be writing the kind of book she loathes: chick lit. so it is indeed refreshing to see a book by an all-x-chromosomes-all-the-time kind of writer that doesn't bother with either the "I must get married or I will die" stereotype, or the stupid notion that "liberation" means cheap sex with some greaseball and buying lots of shoes.

so thank you Claire, both for being funny as hell and for making fun of the people who deserve to get made fun of.

Rating:
Summary: Goodness!
Review: And I mean that both as an interjection and as the antonym of 'badness'. Claire's book is goodness. If you were to look up 'goodness' in the dictionary it would say:

good'ness n. 1 The state or quality of being good. 2 Girls! Girls! Girls! by Claire Zulkey

I happened to know from personal experience that this book contains the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe. I mean, if you don't buy it and read it, you'll be missing out on reading the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe. And how often do you run across the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe? Not very often. It may also contain the 3rd and 4th funniest paragraphs ever written in the entire Universe. But not the 2nd. That still belongs to Steve Guttenberg.

Rating:
Summary: Goodness!
Review: And I mean that both as an interjection and as the antonym of 'badness'. Claire's book is goodness. If you were to look up 'goodness' in the dictionary it would say:

good'ness n. 1 The state or quality of being good. 2 Girls! Girls! Girls! by Claire Zulkey

I happened to know from personal experience that this book contains the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe. I mean, if you don't buy it and read it, you'll be missing out on reading the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe. And how often do you run across the funniest paragraph ever written in the entire Universe? Not very often. It may also contain the 3rd and 4th funniest paragraphs ever written in the entire Universe. But not the 2nd. That still belongs to Steve Guttenberg.

Rating:
Summary: Spongey
Review: I discovered Claire Zulkey's writing several dozen months ago, shortly after discovering that this Internet thing was good for more than just endlessly downloading obscure songs at work and then getting fired for not "keeping my numbers up". Her name stuck with me for two reasons: a) "Zulkey" sounds like an alcoholic beverage; and b) she's really funny. It seemed like everytime I hyperlinked myself to some new (to me) website, there she was. She was, maybe, my first internet-writer crush.

Her humor is smart and sharp with just enough self-deprecation to keep me from being so jealous as to wring my hands like some evil-slash-ethnic stereotype at the mention of her name.

When I discovered her website, updated daily, with links to her stories on other sites, I thought it was too good to be true. And it was (kinda). Ms. Zulkey writes so prolifically that it would take a much stronger reader than myself to keep up with her efforts, let alone pour through the archives of material that preceded my discovery.

"Girls! Girls! Girls!" (besides being a palendrome...which it actually is not) is a very nice introduction to her writing, or a very nice archival document to keep with us after the Great Crash of '07, or just a way for any of us who may neen to play catch-up. And it crashes so less often than my computer (which I will eventually throw out the window).

I have only two complaints about the book. It is too short; and it does not contain all of my favorites of her stories.

That's about all I have to say about that. Next week, I will write about how much I love spongecake.

Rating:
Summary: Think Ayn Rand Doing Stand-Up
Review: Let Claire Zulkey take her place with the other Z buzz scribes of the moment (I'm thinking Zadie and Zoe), because down the time-line when she's a total queen of all media and this book is going for $500 on eBay, you're going to kick your own butt for not buying it now.

This marvelously ergonomic book, which fits comfortably in both hands as you read it, is a wonderful treatise on the foibles of womenfolk in the 21st century through the hilarious lens of the camera zulkclaira. (I have no idea what that really means.)

Whether writing about standing up to the slings and arrows of outrageous bad hair days; confronting the sleazy demon that's her crumby muse; spinning comedy gold out of the straw of common grooming products; or taking flights of fancy that everyday "safe" ladywriters like Anna Quindlen couldn't pull off without someone spiking her Chamomile tea with a powerful hallucinogen, Claire Zulkey delivers.

In short: Buy this book. Hilarity will ensue.

Rating:
Summary: Read Zulkey now so you can brag about it when she's famous.
Review: Mark my words. Go ahead, mark them, right now. I'll wait.

Okay, have you marked them? Good. Here they are. Claire Zulkey is the short humor superstar of tomorrow. She is also a humor semi-superstar of today, and is short. The point is, she has written this delightful book, containing many of my favorite pieces, and you will like it if your sense of humor is high and your tolerance for tedious gender stereotypes is low. She's also one of the nicest authors you'll ever go to a baseball game with.

Funny, insightful, clever, and with a snazzy-looking cover, "Girls! Girls! Girls!" will make you happier than most books its shape. Isn't that worth ten bones?

Rating:
Summary: Definitely worthwhile
Review: Sixty-four pages. WOW. This really puts the "short" in "short story."

Bathroom reading at its finest if you won't be long.

Rating:
Summary: Highly Recommended
Review: This book is perfect for anyone who absolutely cannot stand even one more chick-lit prototype involving vapid and frighteningly thin women guzzling cosmopolitans in manolo blahniks. Claire's writing is smart, insightful, down-to-earth, and above all, hilarious. Read this book now, and respect yourself in the morning.

Rating:
Summary: A Book That Everyone Should Purchase, Particularly You!
Review: You know that pile of pink-colored books all clumped together on a side shelf at Borders or Barnes & Nobel? The ones where you're apt to see titles like "Chocolate and Me: A Single Girl's Love Affair" or "The Dateless Model"? Well, this book, by Claire Zulkey, kind of vaguely looks like those sorts of books, but it's anything but. It's one of those kinds of books that you pick up at the store, not really sure what it's about right away, take it home on a whim, and then fall madly and deeply in love with it. It's the kind of book where you can keep coming back to it, again and again, and re-read little passages, without seeming like a troubled bibliophile. It's the kind of book that has light and breezy pieces that are far wittier and more intelligent than anything you could possibly ever come up with, yet it speaks to you like an old friend. In short, this is the kind of book that looks like those other kinds, the ones at Borders and Barnes & Nobel, yet unlike them, it isn't at all disposable. Past the times spent with a pile of books, while relaxing on a beach, this one will be the one that lasts, that sticks in your collection for a long, long time.

Rating:
Summary: The Little Book That Could
Review: You know that pile of pink-colored books all clumped together on a side shelf at Borders or Barnes & Nobel? The ones where you're apt to see titles like "Chocolate and Me: A Single Girl's Love Affair" or "The Dateless Model"? Well, this book, by Claire Zulkey, kind of vaguely looks like those sorts of books, but it's anything but. It's one of those kinds of books that you pick up at the store, not really sure what it's about right away, take it home on a whim, and then fall madly and deeply in love with it. It's the kind of book where you can keep coming back to it, again and again, and re-read little passages, without seeming like a troubled bibliophile. It's the kind of book that has light and breezy pieces that are far wittier and more intelligent than anything you could possibly ever come up with, yet it speaks to you like an old friend. In short, this is the kind of book that looks like those other kinds, the ones at Borders and Barnes & Nobel, yet unlike them, it isn't at all disposable. Past the times spent with a pile of books, while relaxing on a beach, this one will be the one that lasts, that sticks in your collection for a long, long time.