How To Write A Really Bad Grant Application And Other Helpful Advice For Scientists

Rating:
Summary: Lloyd of New York has Write Stuff for Scientists!
Review: It is no coincidence that in the entire canon of grand operas that have stood the test of time, there are countless tragedies but only a handful of comedies: Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro, Rossini's The Barber of Seville, Donizetti's The Elixir of Love, The Daughter of the Regiment, and Don Pasquale, Smetana's The Bartered Bride and Verdi's Falstaff [also, if your standards for humor are a bit lower, add to the list Wagner's Die Meistersinger and Strauss' Der Rosenkavalier]. It is easy to make people cry, but hard to make people laugh. The cornerstone of this uproariously funny and ultimately uplifting debut paperback volume by Lloyd Fricker, Ph.D., is the synopsis of an opera entitled Il Destino di Grant Application, attributed to Giuseppe Linguini. Full of knowing ersatz arias such as "Non hypothesiso, non preliminary dato" and "Papa è un nincompoopo," this comic opera created quite a sensation in the scientific community as it was passed along via fax and e-mail in late 1998/early 1999. I myself forwarded it to a few hundred of my closest collaborators via a list-serve message with the subject line "Non-ask-o, O-tell-o", in which I described the pseudonymous author as a "grant opera" genius with "perfect pitch."

Indeed, Lloyd Fricker has the gift, influenced by Woody Allen, Dave Barry, the Marx Brothers, and Mad Magazine, of transforming the tragedies of life into humor which will resonate particularly with any scientist (make that all scientists) who has ever despondently wondered "is any of this worth it?" when faced with yet another ill-reasoned, nit-picky rejection notice from a funding agency. The book, aptly titled, is best read (and re-read) in small doses, maybe on a plane ride to a study section meeting, or during a break between finishing one's own application and waiting for the bureaucrats to sign off on it. As is the case with most great humorous writing, Fricker's prose (and occasional poetry) is informed by instantly recognizable bits of sincere, serious source material that can be appreciated by both insiders and outsiders - who may actually pick up some useful insights from the exercise. Dealing with funding agencies is the "necessary evil" correlate to what we all would really rather be doing, the research itself. Is there anything as absurd as having the adjective "excellent" be damning to a grant application? In that spirit, I highly recommend this "outstanding" book to all graduate students, postdocs, and faculty who are engaged in the scientific enterprise.

Rating:
Summary: Amazing! improve your score by reading this book!
Review: This is an excellent if highly irreverent review of what actually goes on at study section. Old hands will recognize parodies of nearly every aspect of those wonderful moments in the Holiday Inn conference rooms, while novice grant applicants will enjoy trying to decide if a given section is meant in fun or whether they actually should describe whether the pipetting is done with the left or the right hand. The opera "Il Destino Di Grant Application" is definitely the centerpiece of the work- even my Italian mother-in-law enjoyed this one when it first circulated on the internet, and I find it intriguing that a Google search of the author reveals that this is his most highly cited work. Go figure- you'd think it would be "Cloning of the Zucchini Opiate Receptor in Mr. Potatohead" (also included), wouldn't you?!