The Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries : My Life Tailing Paris Hilton

Rating:
Summary: Good for a dog
Review: For a book written by an animal that's probably half the size of my foot, this is not bad. It uses the dog's journey with Paris Hilton as a metaphor for World War II, which I honestly didn't think was possible for a dog to comprehend before reading this book. All in all, this book is a great read, and reaffirms my belief that Paris Hilton is no smarter than her literate (thats more than she can say), well groomed (also more than she can say) dog (about the same as her).

Rating:
Summary: From Tinkerbell to 5 Year Olds
Review: I saw this book at my local book store, so I leafed through it. I gave in to my curiosity. This is a book written for 5 y/o's. The reading level is just THAT low.

Rating:
Summary: Garbage!
Review: If you don't have an interesting life why write garbage about someone else's? It's like the National Enquirer and Star all in one minus the space aliens.

Rating:
Summary: Tinkerbell Released
Review: This book is pretty cute, all things put together, and D. Resin whoever he may be has a cunning way of seeing events from a Chiahuahua's point of view. I enjoyed the different chapters about filming THE SIMPLE LIFE and the discovery that Paris had made a sex tape, and how her handlers were going to spin that for maximum publicity density. Resin understands as few others do that people like Paris not because she's socially aware, but because she treats life like a game and she always seems like a good sport.

Tinkerbell complains about the Pomeranians who live with her in the LA house. She explains how you have to be extra patient with Pomeranians because they're so dumb. And she deplores the way people associate Chihuahuas with Pomeranians. "Unfortunately, because they're small, yappy, and ubiquitous, they're the ones most people picture when they hear the term 'toy dog.' Real fond of barking at nothing and getting freaked out by their own tails. Not exactly Lassie, In fact, if they had done that show with a Pomeranian dog, it would have been much simpler: Timmy would fall down the well, lassie would furiously lick itself for forty minutes, and then Lassie would turn arpud and psychotically challenge a small rock to a fight, which it would ulimately become intimidated by." Needless to say, Paris isn't likely to use the word "ubiquitous" in a sentence any time soon, nor has she probably heard of Lassie. She's great, and as Tinkerbell points out, she has a "slack, blank, almost Zed sort of ease that's like wallpaper to read" but is sublimely easy to get along with. I hope that instead of being ashamed to be seen reading this book, as most people doubtless would be, more people pick it up and give it a good read. Virginia Woolf wrote FLUSH on much the same grounds, she wanted to paint a picture of a famous person (in her case Elizabeth Barrett Browning) from the point of view of her kidnapped dog. If it worked for Woolf, why can't it work for Resin? I say it does!

Rating:
Summary: Loving It In DEMOCRATIC NEW YORK
Review: This book rocks! I now find myself quoting a frigging chihuahua! It's hilarious, thought provoking and leaves you 95% stupider than you were before! Wow what a bargain...keep em coming Queen Hilton!

Besides, I'm a Democrat so you know that I'm right and my opinion is the only one that matters...right Hollywood? CBS? Dan Rathers??

Rating:
Summary: perfect stocking stuffer for the criminally cynical
Review: This is just good fun. It is so cynically wonderful and the parody is well done. When else will you read, "I have bells. Like I don't naturally stick out enough, now I can annoy the deaf, too. Why not just go ahead and spray me with the juice of a skunk's ass and get the trifecta of offensive." It isn't Pulitzer winning writing; but if mocking the way-too-rich sounds like fun, you'll really enjoy this.