Unfair & Unbalanced: The Lunatic Magniloquence Of Henry E. Panky

Rating:
Summary: Tuned into the world's humor ley lines
Review: Henry E. Panky, Associate of Arts (candidate) is the insane alter ego of author Patrick Carlisle, though several disclaimers try to convince readers otherwise. Why use your alter ego to write a book of assorted rants? If you published an essay titled "The Crisis in Pubic Hair" would you want your name attached to it?

Unfair & Unbalanced lives up to its title, though it is more unbalanced (in a mental sense) than unfair. Panky does everything from proclaiming a sick love for Meg Ryan to trying his hand at mystery writing, and all of it is hilarious. Some of it even makes sense, and that is worrisome.

Carlisle, as Panky, knows how to make people laugh. Whether he's fumbling a review for an old movie he saw years ago (but just got around to writing about), or trying to explain his mandago bag , he is tuned into the world's humor ley lines. Not everyone will appreciate his efforts or even get it, but who cares?. He's doing this for the sinners, intellectuals, welfare cheats and politicians of the world, and they're the ones who most need to read this work of brilliance. -- Doug Brunell for the FEARLESS REVIEWS

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Summary: A General Absence of Free Will
Review: Henry isn't sure why at age 15 he bought the John Denver album. He continues, "Let's chalk it up to raging pubescent hormones, psychotropic drugs at too early an age, too many Herman Hesse books, a compromised decision making capacity, and a general absence of free will."

Well, I don't know why I think it's so funny when he makes fun of John Denver, especially since I've always liked his music, but it is funny. Pubescent hormones? Yes, neurobiology tells us they'll make us crazy...psychotropic drugs at an age perhaps earlier than 15?...whew...too many Herman Hesse books? Well, I read them all in my mid-twenties, and several of Louis Lamour's, but the Hesse entry does work nicely. The last one - general absence of free will - blew me away! - one side of an ever current philosophical enigmatic question thrown in following a bunch of unrelated one-liners which strangely enough make a coherent and hilarious sentence.

To a conservative political pundit, Panky says, "Darling Ann, my winsome hyena, how I yearn to slip the tough leather straps over your slavering muzzle and ride you like a gaucho through the befouled and slippery charnel house of your political desires." Wow! This sentence paints quite a picture for a guy like me who doesn't really understand poetry. Continuing..."Your saccharine sophistries reek (italics) of an utterly Faustian and silver-tongued sodomy of the human spirit." I don't think he likes her.

Tongue in cheek he deprecates himself: "Even utter strangers naturally sense my Ivy League roots. Those lustrous days spent upon the mountain peak of academe, bathed in the brilliant light of reason, breathing in the high, Rocky mountain spring water of purest intellect, have imbued a certain effulgent je ne sais quoi (italics) deep into my very marrow. It's who I am. You might as well try to hide the Koih-noor diamond under a cheap thrift store merkin."

Well, okay, I have to keep the English and French dictionaries handy, and several trivia books. When I understand most of the servings, I feel proud. By the way, these examples from the book weren't exactly cherry -picked. When I came across the "free will" comment, I decided I had to write a review. The other 2 selections were just short enough, had not been mentioned in other reviews, and were found in the next 7 pages.

This book is an introduction to a new way of perceiving our world, the Hank E. Panky way. If you are tired of the same old mundane books...if you have memorized the self-help book by your commode...Try a little Hank E. Panky, and I predict a satisfied customer. I can't wait to get my hands on his next book.

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Summary: I love this man...
Review: Henry Panky is insightful, intelligent, witty, funny, and a bit of a smart ass. I love this man- have for nigh on two years now (if it weren't for that pesky restraining order he felt compelled to get I'm sure we would be together by now). As long as Henry keeps writing, I won't worry about finding my smile. Anyone out there that's interested in a good belly laugh has to buy this book- it's hysterical drollery is unmatched. The knowledge base alone that this man has is incredible- from penis extension to old vampire movies, Henry is the master.
And Henry,
just so you know, I'm saving up for some Meg Ryan lip implants hoping that you'll change your mind.

Rating:
Summary: Breathtakingly funny
Review: Henry Panky is perhaps the most deranged person to ever get his words into print and on sale through major booksellers. Were it not for the fact that his writings, in all of their degenerate magnificence, are actually extraordinarly sane in his take on this world in which we live, I would petition for his indefinite incarceration on the grounds that he might represent a threat to others and himself. Much as Mr Panky might enjoy the old padded cell and straitjacket (and I have a sneaking suspicion that he would), such drastic steps are not quite necessary.

What is necessary is that you buy this book forthwith and read it cover to cover, pausing only to laugh heartily (chuckling, giggling, chortling and guffawing are also permissible), use the little boy's room (or little girl's room, if you are that way inclined), and perhaps eat a nutritious snack or meal. Sleep isn't really necessary - the added edge that sleep deprivation brings will only make it funnier.

Honestly, it's brilliant. Breathtakingly clever, witty, and most importantly, funny

Rating:
Summary: Strap This Book On and Take it for a Ride!
Review: Hold on! Patrick M. Carlisle's Unfair and Unbalanced takes off at a mighty gallop and never lets up. This highly original and hilarious set of reviews, letters, and stories will rip you away from the incessant stress of your job, family, finances, and the world at large, and plunge you into the ribald, rollicking world of Carlisle's alter ego, one Henry E. Panky. Get the low down from Hank on movies from the 70s, 80s and beyond. Experience Panky's heartwarming coming of age, and stand back while he unleashes vitriol against the extreme right. Carlisle's finely crafted prose and his impressive facility with the English language make his dark, irreverant humor come alive. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and sent it to several of my friends. It's an antidote for the times.

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Summary: I am in love with Henry Panky
Review: I first fell in love with Henry Panky on his web site. I would have willingly had his baby had it not been for the onset of menopause, the fact I was already married, lived 2000 miles away and hate inconvenience. I was aware of his sick obsession with Meg Ryan and even Renee Zellwegger, but it didn't stop my heart from beating wildly. Brilliant comedic writers have always been my weakness. When the book came out, I devoured it like a dingo at a turkey farm. Stay away from me Henry, this is too big for the both of us!! I'll always have your book to keep me warm and giggly.

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Summary: The Tao of Henry
Review: Magnificent, sweeping, hilarious. Henry's soliloquies are peircing and pithy, peeling back the layers of social convention with a self-deprecating shrug that sharpens his observations and causes both the full belly laugh and the uncomfortable feeling that he might actually have a point: the true test of a humorist. Obscure literary references, a penetrating gaze on the vagaries of everyday life, and a vicious sense of irony that spares no one combine to produce commentary both amusing and pointed. No matter how badly your day has been, peering at the world through Henry's steamed hornrims will make you realize that nothing is really that bad after all. Henry Panky is truly the humorist, indeed the chronicler, our times deserve.

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Summary: Gonzo journalism of the neurotic psyche!
Review: Moments of pure brilliance shine through the deluge of self-important information, conspiracy, smut, self-help, sales, scams and spam that is the neon strip of the world wide web where I first encountered Henry Panky. If you don't recognise yourself in this portrait you're delusional! The mercilessly self-depricating, perpetually puffed up, deflated, flatulent, moaning, crowing character that is Henry Panky crossed over the hazy line to where he began building his own magnificent legend. It is a delight to share his excruciating pain. Dear sir: thank you for your wonderfull, ridiculous comedy. I laughed til I cried. It is a deranged world we live in and these 173 pages of lunacy helped me face tomorrow laughing. This is one #$@!!! funny book!

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Summary: The Greatest Stories Ever Sold
Review: This is simply the funniest book ever written. I mean, if anyone has ever gone to a dating website (oh, you have too, you liar!)Then "Search Engine of Love" will have you helpless with laughter. And anyone who has ever seen a post 1945 Bette Davis movie will HOWL over "The Insatiable Meat Cleaver of Bette Davis"
Please read the "Letter to Anne Coulter" before Nov.2!!
MEN: "O'(snip-snip) Where Art Thou?" will have you cracking up on golf courses, board meetings and prison showers for the rest of your life. You MUST buy this book! NOW!
LADIES: Come on, look at the cover! You can frame it! He looks just like Corbin Bernsen (The LA Law Corbin Brensen, NOT the current General Hospital version) "The Superior Man" will not be something you sill forget for a LONG time!
Buy this book, buy 10 of them, because your friends will get tired of you trying to read it to them over the phone, and if you loan it out, it will never come back.

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Summary: Hysterical look at the baffling contradictions of life
Review: Unfair & Unbalanced: The Lunatic Magniloquence of Henry E. Panky by Patrick M. Carlisle is a wry and captivatingly hysterical look at the baffling contradictions of modern life. Holding no hypocricy sacred, chapters such as "O' Foreskin, Where Art Thou?" and "The Crisis in Pubic Hair" do not hestiate to push the envelope on human sexuality, while "Letter to Dave Barry", "The Insatiable Meat Cleaver of Bette Davis", and "Letter to Ann Coulter" challenge other public figures in an eye-popping manner. Unfair & Unbalanced spares no effort to be hysterically funny, perhaps at the price of good taste but what is that, really? No fewer than four separate disclaimers lead into the hilarity, and the whetted observations within require it, for they are at least four times as cutting-edge as the leading "fair and balanced" commentary.