Field Guide to the North American Bird

Rating:
Summary: Gritty authenticity for mind and body
Review: Blank & Blank lure the reader in with their in-your-face attitude and the promise of relentless vulgarity, only to seduce with their beautifully rendered paean to our feathered friends. The cover is a bit deceptive, but don't be fooled -- if you love warblers and wrens and raptors, this is the book for you -- wait, no, it's the other way around. Blank and Blank lure the reader in with the promise of a handy birding guide only to deliver a big f-you to our fine feathered friends, and everyone else, too. So the next time one of those obnoxious bird watchers gets up in your face with his binoculars, consult Blank & Blank for an appropriate response. You'll find every thing you need in here, from the lovingly rendered platonic ideal on the cover to my favorite, the cell-phone. I gave that one to a cop who wanted me to move my car, and he laughed and laughed. This book is good for policemen, and police ladies, too. If you're a cop, or a man, or a lady, you'll love it.

Rating:
Summary: Hysterical...and useful
Review: Blank & Blank lure the reader in with their in-your-face attitude and the promise of relentless vulgarity, only to seduce with their beautifully rendered paean to our feathered friends. The cover is a bit deceptive, but don't be fooled -- if you love warblers and wrens and raptors, this is the book for you -- wait, no, it's the other way around. Blank and Blank lure the reader in with the promise of a handy birding guide only to deliver a big f-you to our fine feathered friends, and everyone else, too. So the next time one of those obnoxious bird watchers gets up in your face with his binoculars, consult Blank & Blank for an appropriate response. You'll find every thing you need in here, from the lovingly rendered platonic ideal on the cover to my favorite, the cell-phone. I gave that one to a cop who wanted me to move my car, and he laughed and laughed. This book is good for policemen, and police ladies, too. If you're a cop, or a man, or a lady, you'll love it.

Rating:
Summary: Bored of the usual 'birds' ? This one is way fun!
Review: Bored of the usual 'birds' ? This one is way fun!
Buy this book& have some friends over for a little fun and stress release.
The book describes birds like "the Cell Phone" (good use for those on it when driving, or those while you are say in the movies and won't shut up) or 'The Transformer' then there's the basic "Pristine" & "Vulgar" & in the not potent enough reject section, The"Saloon"
just to name a few.... (left me wanting more...)

Rating:
Summary: Bored of the usual 'birds' ? This one is way fun!
Review: Bored of the usual 'birds' ? This one is way fun!
Buy this book& have some friends over for a little fun and stress release.
The book describes birds like "the Cell Phone" (good use for those on it when driving, or those while you are say in the movies and won't shut up) or 'The Transformer' then there's the basic "Pristine" & "Vulgar" & in the not potent enough reject section, The"Saloon"
just to name a few.... (left me wanting more...)

Rating:
Summary: funny AND useful
Review: If you're stuck in a rut--weakly lifting your middle finger only when you've been cut off in traffic and otherwise resorting to lackluster verbal retorts, you need this book! We have so much in this world to get mad about and so few gestures for expressing that anger...until now. Blank, Blank and Moore offer a lavishly illustrated, thoroughly researched compendium of insults that will leave you (and your middle finger)itching for a conflict!

Rating:
Summary: A Watershed Moment in Literary History.
Review: Once in a great while a book is authored that is so profound, so intellectually stunning, so spiritually affirming, and so sexually stimulating, that it becomes part of our shared heritage.

This is that book.

Most reasonable people ruminate on the ever-coarsening of society and ask how we got to this point. Blank looks at society and asks if we are coarse enough. What he says is, "No." But in this, as in all things, Blank is an enigma--a mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a comfy fleece blanket when he watches t.v..

I give it nearly my highest rating (4 porkchops out of 5) because I feel he made up some of these dramatic gesticulations just to pad the length in some sort of shady "bonus" arrangement. He may have narrowed the margins too. But still.

This book demonstrates that there are many, many ways to physically contort yourself in aid of insulting someone. The conservative cognoscenti--you know who they are--once formed a "prayer circle" around Ten Speed Press to prevent it from leaving the premises. In fact someone from Georgia promised in a chilling phone threat that the venerable publishing house would get "blowed up real good-like" if it ever got published. Luckily, the First Amendment and questionable taste prevailed.

Read the book THEY don't want you to read! As an added incentive you'll get a 40 second recorded phone call from Blank thanking you for your purchase, and by purchasing you'll help support his quest to finish his pretentious, ponderous follow-up tome: "A Brief History of Time: The Revenge."

Rating:
Summary: Fun
Review: The book is a fun guide to the finger. There's a bunch of different types, but the book is lacking. The illustrations are excellent and add to the humor of the book.

Rating:
Summary: When Words Fail
Review: We've all been there. Somebody pisses you off by something they did or said. You're left standing there, mumbling, murmuring, stuttering, your lips unable to produce that perfect reply that will completely devastate your opponent, making him or her whither so that they're the one who's speechless. The essential comeback usually arrives too late, after the incident has long since passed, and you shuffle on with life cursing your slow-reaction time, vowing not to let it happen ever again. But of course it'll happen again....

... that is, unless you get your hands on The Field Guide to the North American Bird. When words fail during your next clash with the Belligerent Bastard or the Snooty Salesperson, you'll never have to worry about getting the mumbles or murmurs or stutters ever again. In fact, your mouth's mutiny won't even be an issue, because with the Bird Book you'll be letting your fingers do the talking this time. And the person on the receiving end of your digital fury will never know what hit 'em.

OK, I know, "fingers" in the plural might be a little too much talking than is probably required. You may only need the one digit for the job--that's how powerful are the middle-finger gestures hilariously described by Adam Blank and ingeniously illustrated by Michael Moore. Straightforward and user-friendly, this book is your one-stop field guide for engaging in the subversive art of birding: It's the ultimate self-help book, a self-defense manual, and the perfect tool for imaginative self-expression, all rolled into one handsome volume with an attractive cover.

Frankly, words fail to celebrate the genius of this welcome effort.