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Rating: 
Summary: Mindblowing. Inspirational. Long live Lumpy.
Review: Frank Bank squeezed more out of a several year stint as Tony Dow's lumpy friend than most men squeeze out of a lifetime. What I found so brilliant about this book was Bank's shameless estimation of the importance and grandeur of his own life. And why wouldn't he be proud? Any man who could get that much mileage out of the role of Lumpy and still not compromise any of his essential Lumpiness deserves all the accolades he gets. Frank's self-assuredness and moxie made me think "hell, if this guy can make a case out of all the fame, money and women he got from starring as Lumpy, what the hell does any other guy have to complain about?" Particulary poignant is his run-in with Marlon Brando (hey man, at least Lumpy was always fat) and his details of the "Lumpy Philosophy" which has obviously guided him through life. An inspiration.
Rating: 
Summary: I feel disloyal by writing this
Review: I am not just a very big fan of Leave it to Beaver, but I am also interested in 1950's culture and nostalgia. I did like the first few chapters. Fred Bank (so I'm not calling him Lumpy) writes about some great LTB behind the scenes shenanigans that made what I paid for the book worthwhile. Chapter three is the beginning of the rest of the book, mostly about his sexual exploits and how he started every cool trend in California during his day. That's why I am only giving it two stars-- I can only recommend the beginning of the book.I worried about writing this. I wondered, what if "Lumpy" reads this review?? I'm such a LTB fan!!! But then I realized after reading his book that his ego isn't in danger of being injured. So, I would recommend buying this book for the first two chapters only. Now, if only Tony Dow would write HIS book! :)
Rating: 
Summary: Good for the Lump
Review: I enjoyed this light-hearted look at the difficulties of being a star on TV, in the good old days when the classic NIck at Nite sitcoms were being produced--which were also the bad old days when talented young actors were barred from getting residuals or misused in minor parts like Frank Bank. Well, he was living proof of the old adage that there are no small parts, just small actors, and he was never small.
An appealing potato-like boy, he wasn't really bad looking, he just paled next to the boy god Tony Dow, like the moon disappearing when the sun comes out. I'm not surprised he had so much luck with the ladies--just surprised he saw fit to reveal it all in this book which should be rated NC-17. And good for him for staying financially solvent when so many of his ilk went bankrupt. He had a head on his shoulders as well as a grin on his goofy face, Long live the "Lump."
Rating: 
Summary: Beaver-Lovers Beware
Review: I only gave this one star because [Amazon.com's] format doesn't allow for zero stars. Frank Bank is like one of those irritating guys you meet at airport bars when your flight is delayed: on his sixth Scotch-rocks, won't shut up. Every topic that comes up he was there, he had the first one, everybody copied him, he had the best, the biggest, the coolest. What's saddest about this exercise in mind-numbing ego is that Bank apparently doesn't realize that the only thing interesting about him is his involvement in "Leave it to Beaver," to which he devotes very few pages and about which he gives absolutely no insight. He doesn't even get the details right in what little he says about the series: Wally and the Beaver did not go apologize to Mr. Rutherford after putting barrel hoops in his driveway, Ward (in a scene that takes place off camera) worked things out with Rutherford, which is the whole point of the show (since it was Ward who gave them the barrel hoop idea in the first place). But of course, accuracy is not anything Bank cares about, what matters to him is that this was the first episode in which Frank Bank appeared (one wonders if he ever bothered to read the rest of the script). Although Bank had a co-writer, Gib Twyman, "an award winning former sportswriter," this is possibly the worst written book I've ever read. There are no paragraphs, just short, repetitive, jargon-filled sentences (fills more pages that way, I guess). Jerry Mathers' book ("And Jerry Mathers as the Beaver") may not have been any work of art, but at least he respected what brought readers to the book. Bank does not. It's no surprise when, in a late chapter, he reveals that he's the President of the alumni organization of his high school social club, The Knights (the coolest guys on campus, of course). Bank -- emotionally and perceptually -- is still in high school. Don't waste your time or money on this flatulent, boring piece of self-inflation.
Rating:
Summary: This is a funny read from a "tell-it-like-it-is" guy!
Review: Oh, this is no War and Peace, but it is an interesting read. Written as if Frank "Lumpy" is speaking directly to you. You will laugh out loud as he gives you details of his coming-of-age years in California and how he kept his head screwed on straight to become a success in the financial world as an adult, unlike so many other child stars from his era and before. I loved his sense of humor and knack for story telling, it was almost like having a long conversation with the author, except you weren't able to get in a word edgewise! Some of it, if you can believe it, may shock you. He has alot of nice things to say about his peers from "Leave It To Beaver", too. Must have been a happy set to come to work to. Imagine being on TV in the fifties and sixties and rubbing elbows with some of the rich and famous....well, Lumpy did and he gives us a little insight into what it was like. Thanks, Frank.
Rating:
Summary: Don't look here if you're looking for stuff about the Beaver
Review: The book was thoroughly disappointing. I had expected a writing about Lumpy and his Beaver days. What I found however were pages and pages of his life as a Hollywood Knight in the early 60's and the nearly 1 thousand women he bedded. I found little more than a few lines commenting on his friendship with Dow, Mathers and Osmand and his respect for Ward and June. Soooooooo, if you're looking for material on what went on, on the set of Leave it To Beaver, you had better try looking elswhere.
Rating:
Summary: Call me ...
Review: This book has little to do with the Leave it to Beaver show. It was written for [fools] by a [fool]. After reading a few chapters of teeny bopper prose, I could go no further...
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