And I Don't Want to Live This Life : A Mother's Story of Her Daughter's Murder

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Summary: Before you blame a parent for the behavior of their child...
Review: I read this book back in high school for my English term paper & had the opportunity to write to Ms. Spungen on her views regarding Nancy's relationship with Sid. Since then I have a daughter of my own & can honestly say that I have taken the time to understand what Deborah was trying to do to save her daughter. No mother should have to go through what she has gone through and yet the problems Nancy had were never resolved. A mother's love is an unconditional love, nothing will change that. That is a part of us for the rest of our lives. Deborah did the best job she could, just as my mother had done the best job she could. My hat is off to her.

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Summary: Very tragic
Review: I have read this book several times and really feel Mrs. Spungen's pain. Some of her detractors that have posted their reviews obviously arent parents. Most of us should be grateful that we dont have to endure the pain of watching a beloved child deteriorate and destroy themselves. Nancy was not a normal child and, unfortunately,she grew up in a primitive medical society. No one could help her or her family. The book is an extremely good read. Deborah had such a good point when she commented about how the media DEMANDED that she help boost their ratings and sell newspapers when they stuck a microphone in her face after her daughter's death. Something to think about. And, for the person who posted that Deborah never provided Nancy with a headstone.......you're wrong. The family did. There definately needs to be more help offered to disturbed children, so that they dont just end up a statistic of self-destruction. Good job, Deborah. I hope you have found your peace.

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Summary: Very moving
Review: I can't imagine having a child like Nancy Spungen. As Deborah Spungen wrote, your child is always your child and you will always love her, no matter what she does--but what if your daughter rejected your love and guidance so angrily and repeatedly? How difficult would it be to keep hoping and to keep trying to convince your daughter that she was loved and that her life was worth living? Nancy was obviously a person who suffered some damage at some point (probably during her traumatic birth and first few days of life) and who lived a life of incredible sorrow and violence. I can't imagine what Deborah Spungen and her family had to live through, seeing the young woman they loved tear herself, and her family, apart. Can you imagine wishing that your beloved child would die because her misery was poisoning your family's life? How would that make you feel? Deborah has been through a lot in her life, and this book is a painful memoir of her child's brief existence. It must have torn her apart emotionally to write this. I think that some reviewers on this page are extremely judgmental. I'm sure Deborah wasn't the perfect parent--nobody is--but from the sounds of it, she went above and beyond the call of what any parent anticipates they will have to do (and it sounds like her other children have turned out just fine). Read this book. It's a heartbreaker, but maybe it will teach a few people that mental suffering is very real and can be as devastating as any physical ailment.

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Summary: Superb book - don't judge Sid & Nancy until you read it!
Review: I'm surprised to see so many recent reviews of this book - I first read it about 10 years ago and loaned it to a friend. She never returned it and I have never been able to replace it as it is extremely difficult to find. Some people in the reviews below are saying Nancy's condition was a result of her mother's treatment. I believe, having read this book so many times, something must be done to change these views - doctors can't go on for ever saying a child is normal when it obviously isn't. Deborah has highlighted in a very moving and emotional book the plight of many families trying to cope with their "normal" children. Sid & Nancy were both very misunderstood individuals who found solace with each other and one understood the other. Read this book, please - and keep a box of tissues nearby as I guarantee you will be crying from about halfway through right to the end.

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Summary: fantastic
Review: I read this book a few years ago in college. I never found the authors name nor the title until recently. Its an excellent book and I cant amagine Deb living like that. It must have been painful to re-do it when she published it. I defintly recommend this book !

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Summary: A mother absolves herself of all responsibility
Review: "And I Don't Want to Live This Life" is basically one mother's attempt to absolve herself of all responsibility for the tragic life of her daughter. I was appalled by the lengths to which Mrs. Spungen has gone to make sure that her readers understand that despite all of her best efforts to help and rehabilitate her daughter: there was nothing she could do, her daughter was a bad seed. There are no bad seeds, only bad mothers.

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Summary: Absolutely Fantastic
Review: This book is the most moving and honest thing I have ever read. I give the utmost respect to Deborah for being able to pour her heart out to the world like this and to make people understand what people arte actually going through is a lot different to what you read in the media. As soon as I had finished this book I knew I had to buy it, and I now recommend it to everyone I can. A brilliant book and an outstanding example of family committment.

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Summary: Heart wrenching and disturbing !
Review: I have a four year old daughter that too was born with lack of oxygen. And now as I read this book I feel like someone is writing about my daughter. The things she does are the same as what Nancy did. Her fits and her temper just everything all relates to my life and my little girl.The doctors tell me she is normal!But I know they are wrong because no mother should have to lock herself in the bathroom just to get away from her four year old. Nore should any mother have to go to bed at night crying because her little girl hates her! And no matter what mommy says or does my baby still hates me.But they say she is nomal! She's not, but knowone can help me they say she's just bad.I know my baby best and she doesn't want to be this way something just snaps in her head.I'm afraid for her cause the doctors just want to fill her full of medication. But I won't allow her to take anything.Drugs are just not the answer to her problem. I cry for help but everyone just sluffs us off. I just pray that someday she will be ok! And her life will not turn out like Nancy's did. Hopefully someday soon someone will here my cry for help to deal with these disturbed children. Before society rules them out to be worthless kids with poor attitudes. sencerly, T. Matthews

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Summary: Loved It!!! :-)
Review: I read this book years ago but it is one that kind of stays with you. You can feel Deborah's pain it was very well written!!! Loved it!!!

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Summary: Sad, Touching and an eye opener
Review: It was great to read that so many other people have read and re-read this book as much as I have. I first saw Mrs. Spungen on the Phil Donahue show and immediately got the book. Since then my nephew has started having mental problems and I've used this book as reference. I'm almost afraid to let me sister read it because of the outcome. My nephew is like Nancy with disturbing outburst from a very young age. I truly feel sorry for the Spungens and admire their strengh.