Rating: 
Summary: A Shocker, In More Ways Than One
Review: I picked up this book as a Ramones fan, and on a whim. I was expecting something entertaining, perhaps crass and cutting edge, but I was floored to find a really great piece of work by Dee Dee Ramone.Where do I start? How do I categorize this book? Horror? Humor? Autobiography? All of the above, I must say. Part Dante's Inferno, part Kafka's Metamorphosis, part Phillip K. Dick's "A Scanner Darkly," yet all Dee Dee Ramone. I'm serious! My major in college was Comparative Literature, and reading Chelsea Horror Hotel brought me back to the most beautifully twisted examples of literature, both classic and modern, that I have read. Put Dante Alighieri and Franz Kafka in a time machine, point them toward CBGB's, and you're there! Dee Dee Ramone sets himself as the central character, shacking up with his girl Barbara and dog Banfield at The Chelsea Hotel, New York's hang-out for the underground hipsters. It is also the site where Sid Vicious killed Nancy Spungeon in the late 1970s. The entire story takes you through Dee Dee's paranoia of AIDS, perpetual quest to shoot up, repeated encounters with ghosts of dead friends like Sid Vicious and Stiv Bators, bloody murders, the awareness of a secret Satanic society that conducts grisly tortures in the hotel basement, and occasional desperate plea-bargains with God. What makes this story so twisted is the coming and goings of the "fine lines." There are times when it is clear that a segment is grounded in Dee Dee's light grip on reality, but these moments often morph into disturbing paranormal events that seem to indicate that Dee Dee is swimming through a blurry array of nightmares, drug induced hallucinations, sheer paranoia, or improbable realities. It's often hard to tell! Yet the reader is never lost; you will find yourself racing through the pages, eager to see how each frightening misadventure is solved. Part of what makes this story work so well is that while Dee Dee is the main focus of the story, he avoids painting himself as a sympathetic character. He portrays himself as a borderline sort who, despite frequent self-serving and malicious actions, believes that he is a nice person who is wronged and agitated by all who surround him. He does an excellent job of illustrating an individual who is emotionally tormented and forever craving a fix. Unlike so many "street poets," you see no glamour in his crack & heroin surroundings; you see one great big nightmare. Nightmarish from start to finish, yes. Strange thing is, despite the desperation throughout the novel, I did not find it depressing in the least. I found myself impatient to get to the next page, just to see the next twisted mess Dee Dee would get himself into. And forget the lame anti-drug films our health teachers showed us throughout our junior high years; "Chelsea Horror Hotel" would make me steer clear of the rock, the pipe, and the needle FOR GOOD! One caution: this book is not for the weak of heart (or stomach). Lots of graphic descriptions of blood, vomit, and millions of grotesque mealie-mealie bugs! "Chelsea Horror Hotel" is Dee Dee's crowning bookshelf glory. It may not be a bestseller, but I hope it nevers fades into complete obscurity. Dee Dee Ramone may be gone from this world, and I hope he's at peace in a much more placid setting than The Chelsea Horror Hotel!
Rating: 
Summary: And you thought you were having a bad day...
Review: I pre-ordered "Chelsea Horror Hotel" and read the entire book the day it arrived. Dee Dee's first novel is highly entertaining. Funny, bizarre, icky, and creepy, it centers around Dee Dee's life at his apartment in the Chelsea Hotel. He thinks he is living in the room where Nancy Spungen died and things just get worse from there. He is in hell, dealing with his meanie wife Barbara, his nagging talking dog Banfield, and the other creepy residents of the hotel. Dee Dee tries to keep to himself but everyone is so annoying he tangles with them, hoping to save his sanity. That only exacerbates his problems. To top it all off, he is soon hounded by the pain in the butt ghosts of Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, and Sid Vicious. Dee Dee writes in his inimitable deadpan style and his vivid imagination and graphic details make the story really come alive. He's always been a gifted storyteller. Right on, Dee Dee!
Rating: 
Summary: The nadir of writing
Review: I wanted to read this book because of the title and presumable subject matter. Sure I love the Ramones (older albums), but my real motive was to delve into some of the stories surrounding the most infamous hotel in the city. The first time I visited New York City I stayed at the Chelsea Hotel, and I can attest to the presence of its resident ghosts.
I was horribly disappointed then (although warned by the affable punk clerk at the bookstore) when I opened the book and discovered the worst writing I've laid eyes on in... as long as I can remember. Sure, the story's self-promotingly fanciful, depicting Dee Dee as the "wronged Ramone." Sure, it bends the line between reality and obvious fiction. I don't mind that Dee Dee wants to tell things his own way, to fashion himself in a loveable-goon light. But the writing, oh the writing. Sentences not only don't flow, they don't make sense. It's hard at (most) times to even understand the chronology of actions because sentences stop short, drop their subjects, actions, and themes altogether. There's literally no way to know what comes next-- when the narrator is rambling on about his wife for awhile, the ending sentence in the same paragraph might have to do with Sid Vicious's corpse in Iowa City.
If you're a diehard Ramones fan, you'll probably read this anyway. For all others, resist the incredible cover art (more 2-year-old's style illustrations are found within) and go read the phone book. The saving grace of this book is its abundance of whitespace and a ten word vocabulary that makes it a quick read.
Rating: 
Summary: Dee Dee needs Psycho Therapy
Review: If William Burroughs had a drugged-out nightmare involving Bret Easton Ellis' gory scenes from American Psycho, and it was all written out by an 11-year old, it might read something like Chelsea Horror Hotel. This short novel (generous line spacing, margins and font size make this 250+ pager a one-hour read) centers around Dee Dee Ramone and his talking dog, as they score drugs and violently torture and kill just about all the residents in the Chelsea Hotel. The book is one long freaky and disgusting hallucination, and could be used as a lesson for kids to not do drugs. People turn into demons, cockroaches crawl around by the millions, eyeballs go flying, Satan worshippers toss junkies into piranha-filled bathtubs, and Sid Vicious and Johnny Thunders haunt Dee Dee like junkie Obe-Wans. It's not a good book by any means - thematically or grammatically - but it's by Dee Dee so it's still pretty amusing (sort of like his horrendous yet ironically cool rap album). If you bother wading through all the gore, but you get some insight into his feelings toward his mother and wife, the fame of being a Ramone, and his love-hate relationship with the 70's rockstar/addict life. The last page is probably the best - Dee Dee injecting his last hit into his skull while singing "Chinese Rocks" with Sid Vicious, Johnny Thunders, Jerry Nolan, and Stiv Bators as he slips down into Hell where the rest of the original Ramones lineup awaits. In the end, it's easy to begin to empathize with Dee Dee (although that's what he wants). ...you sort of hope he'll figure himself out someday, preferably before he OD's like his other angels and demons.
Rating:
Summary: Screw Literary Convention
Review: Many of the other reviews for this book blast Dee Dee for failing to use
correct grammar, syntax, etc. etc. But, hey guess what? Through this novel
Dee Dee sticks the middle finger up at literary convention. James Joyce?? He is
a bit overrated as are the other so called great writers that belong to the literary
canon. Punk Rock was about moving away from the music conventions that were
and still are in place. Music Theory was non existent in Punk rock (the circle of fifths??
who needs them!!??) This novel takes on that very Punk Rock spirit and does away with
convention. The erratic and sometimes pointless words, scenarios, etc., that other reviewers
have pointed out (and failed to examine) do have meaning. They mirror the pointlessness and meaningless
that the protagonist may experience inwardly. There is a method to the madness that Dee Dee wreaks
in the text. The text explores life on the margins of society within an urban setting and moves away
from suburban life(which is droll and riddled with Green Day and OffSpring punks that say "yes sir" and "no mam"). The Punk Rock lifestyle of Dee Dee Ramone is one of former glory, drug hazed days and surrounded
by poverty and a vast array of marginalized figures. This book is a bit rough, but so was Punk Rock, which lives only as a memory. I highly recommend this novel.
Rating:
Summary: "Little Dee Dee's Big Book of Drug Stories"
Review: OK, DeeDee is no James Joyce, but I think the other reviewers are being a bit hard on him and going into this with expectations that are a way too high. Give the guy a break, he's a Ramone and he writes like one. I thought it was fun after reading something like "Please Kill Me" by Legs McNeil. Dee Dee's childish style is sort of endearing and it reads like a punk rock William Burroughs when you get to the drug induced hallucinations. Basically, DeeDee is trapped in the Chelsea Hotel and keeps having heroin trips involving Sid Vicious and Johnny Thunders who want him to join their band (overdose? ok so it is obvious in parts :) His various encounters with the other characters are amusing. Its hard to believe the Chelsea was such a dump (it was) when they try to be so posh now.
Rating:
Summary: review
Review: This book was a very large let down to anyone that took the book serious enough to read it. It did have a good plot but I'm sorry to disrespect Dee Dee but he is an awfull writer, it had no horror to it except what a child could have written in elementary school and the grammer is just a disgrace. And if you're not going to pay attention to this review then go ahead and waste about 3-4 hours reading it because trust me it shouldn't take any longer then that.
Rating:
Summary: Ghost and writer
Review: While it's quite possible that Dee Dee Ramone is an excellent writer, it seems hard to believe that this book was written solely by him. "Lobotomy" - the U.S. version of Ramone's autobiographical "Poison Heart" - adds material that doesn't sound like it came from Dee Dee's pen; his professed dislike for Britney Spears and Green Day ring particularly false (does Dee Dee Ramone even care about these people?). The same problem occurs with "Chelsea Horror Hotel." It is without a doubt a very entertaining read, and for the most part, extremely well written, casting Dee Dee as his own fictional protaganist in a way not too far removed from Celine's early work or Fante's Arturo Bandini. The self-deprecating humor coupled with the "Why me!" mentality of Dee Dee the Addict create a likable character, but I found myself scratching my head much of the time trying to figure out who wrote some of the passages. Maybe I'm way off base, but it seems hard to believe that Dee Dee's writing has improved so dramatically in such a short period of time. Either way, this is a terrific story, whether Dee Dee received some assistance in writing it or not.
Rating:
Summary: Crazy humor
Review: While living in the Chelsea Hotel, Dee Dee Ramone is experiencing many crazy things. He has a talking dog, crazy neighbors, and even crazier dead punk rock friends. He is tormented day in and day out by them along with the filthiness of the hotel, rude staff and fear of catching just about every disease in the book. He will take you along for his adventure of drugs, death and his all around miserable life. This is a book written with a crazy and demented sense of humor. I highly recommend this, it is a very interesting and comical read.
Rating:
Summary: hahaha
Review: You will either love or hate this book. I had to love it. It goes from normal to completely nuts very quickly. It's fun to have a soundtrack for this book in your head too. Two songs come to mind when he's talking about the basement of the Chelsea-- Ramones - I dont want to go down to the basement-- and Johnny Thunders - In Cold Blood: 'you probably think i'm pretty mad, just because i go down there i said hey don't you worry dear, you'll never end up there...'... You take in all the stuff in this book, and then like a few hours later it hits you when you're driving in your car and you're picturing DeeDee smoking crack with candy the transexual, and you can't stop laughing for ten minutes. I don't understand how any Ramones fan could NOT like this book!
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