At Weddings and Wakes

Rating:
Summary: This book is (almost quite entirely) exasperating
Review: Alice McDermott is obviously not for everyone. Her language is dense, at times difficult, but it's also hauntingly beautiful. Her writing in AW&W is just a pitch-perfect rendering of a child's memory of the complex life of an extended family. For some of us, the revelations in this novel resonate strongly with our own lives and experience: growing up Catholic in post-war America in a suburban family with urban roots. Ev en those lacking these personal connections might come to appreciate McDermott's artistry. (Just so you'll know where I'm coming from: this book, Possession by A.S. Byatt, Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier, and Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov are my favorite fiction of those I've read in the last year or so.)

Rating:
Summary: In relation to relatives
Review: At Weddings and Wakes was a very interesting look at the history of a family through the collected (not collective) memories of the children who saw the developments through their child-eyes. The details that are so clear to a child, the sounds,the tastes, the physical feel of things, the lack of conversational detail and nuance, the end results of the day, all give a clean and simple feel to this story. The way that the different children have a slightly different perspective on the same occasion or type of occasion was insightful beyond ordinary reason. The children did not automatically connect one happening in their lives to another. To them there was no trainload of fault and blame to be emptied at every unhappy ( or happy) occurance. Sometimes good things just happen, sometimes bad. They seemed to feel that life just unfolded itself for them to observe it. The simplicity of a childs acceptance of things in their life is accomplished only through the complex thought and the gentle hand of an excellent writer like Alice McDermott. The entire novel was like a walk through the park holding a child's hand, as they open their heart to you completely, trying to help you understand life as they perceive it. Alice McDermott seems to know that it is not the destination but the journey itself that make life worthwhile.

Rating:
Summary: Like Monet
Review: More like a Monet than a photograph, McDermott's, "At Weddings and Wakes" reveals its beauty by memory impressions rather than by the harsh black lines of plot. No less lost than others who have written here in the ebb and flow of the timeline, I, however, trusted the author. And soon I was intermixing with the memories of the book my own childhood memories - and identifying, in the moment, with the joys and tragedies of this family. I dare suggest any who read this book, liking it or not, will find themselves remembering family stories of times past - memories happy and sad, with characters tragic and heroic and possibly rethinking them in the light of McDermott's graceful treatment of such moments. It was an exquiste read. That is, for those who are comfortable with impressions leading you to see clearly the beauty in life's tragedies and joys, as like a Monet painting. But if you need/seek/want the clarity of a photograph for beauty - skip this book.

Rating:
Summary: Like Monet
Review: Reading At Weddings and Wakes is like sharing a dream. Events are described with a crystalline clarity and tone perfect attention to detail, allowing us to be swept into the experience without knowing a lot of history of the characters.Even the names of the people appear only incidentally later in the book. The book unfolds slowly and almost cinematically as three children accompany their mother on a trip to Brooklyn to visit their grandmother and aunts. The pacing of the book is languid and deliberate. Characters appear and disappear, we hear snatches of conversations and recollections of past events. I love McDermott's language and though I am a fast reader, she forces me to slow down because each word is important. I am in absolute awe of her ability to tell a story, without resorting to conventional plot devices. I was so totally engaged with the characters and the situation, perhaps because it so closely mirrored my own experience growing up in an Irish Catholic family. Yet I believe the book transends the particulars of place as it addresses the central issues of life: joy and tragedy, our inability to let go of the past and our need to enjoy the moment. Through the eyes of the children we understand how events become experience, as they observe adults who seem mired in their histories, unable to find joy in the moment and move forward.
The love the children share with their favorite aunt,May, the only adult, apart from their father who is actively seeking happiness and finding joy, is palpable. It is so finely rendered that it brought back in a piercingly acute way, my own feelings for beloved and now departed family members. Other reader reviews makes it clear this isn't a book for everyone, but I will never forget it.

Rating:
Summary: Proust in the Suburbs
Review: Reading At Weddings and Wakes is like sharing a dream. Events are described with a crystalline clarity and tone perfect attention to detail, allowing us to be swept into the experience without knowing a lot of history of the characters.Even the names of the people appear only incidentally later in the book. The book unfolds slowly and almost cinematically as three children accompany their mother on a trip to Brooklyn to visit their grandmother and aunts. The pacing of the book is languid and deliberate. Characters appear and disappear, we hear snatches of conversations and recollections of past events. I love McDermott's language and though I am a fast reader, she forces me to slow down because each word is important. I am in absolute awe of her ability to tell a story, without resorting to conventional plot devices. I was so totally engaged with the characters and the situation, perhaps because it so closely mirrored my own experience growing up in an Irish Catholic family. Yet I believe the book transends the particulars of place as it addresses the central issues of life: joy and tragedy, our inability to let go of the past and our need to enjoy the moment. Through the eyes of the children we understand how events become experience, as they observe adults who seem mired in their histories, unable to find joy in the moment and move forward.
The love the children share with their favorite aunt,May, the only adult, apart from their father who is actively seeking happiness and finding joy, is palpable. It is so finely rendered that it brought back in a piercingly acute way, my own feelings for beloved and now departed family members. Other reader reviews makes it clear this isn't a book for everyone, but I will never forget it.

Rating:
Summary: A brilliant evocation of memory.
Review: The quality of memory is brilliantly conveyed in this novel: the details, the dreaminess, the layers of knowing - knowing what you knew as a child and what you learned later and what happened after that. The book is a quantity of detail that never becomes claustrophobic. In the opening pages, we have a minute description of the mother, her three children, and their bus ride from Long Island to the city to visit relatives. Without boring the reader, McDermott renders exquisitely how excrutiatingly boring such visits can be for children, who don't understand exactly what's going on among the adults but understand perfectly the tension. Out of this wealth of detail emerges the story of a family, and though thoroughly Irish and Catholic, these are characters recognizable in any family - the beautiful, disappointed one, the one determined to be happy, the adored alcoholic, the smart, embittered one. We see the way family stories take on a life of their own and family problems are more like the air one breathes than explicitly defined events and situations that can be rationally addressed. "Aren't you glad that you only have to see your relatives at weddings and wakes?" says a teenager to her younger cousins. They all agree, but the reader knows the truth - each one of them is a unique product of their common family, as is each one of us.

Rating:
Summary: engrossing family tale
Review: This story is told through the eyes of three small siblings -- two girls and a boy -- who visit their mother's spinster sisters and mother in Brooklyn one weekend a month. The aunts are mysterious and thrilling to the children --- one is a vain alcoholic career girl, the other a cheerful older woman who has finally found love.

The language is dense -- there is not a lot of dialogue to make the story flow -- but it is still an excellent story.