Cooking As Courtship

Rating:
Summary: Buy this book. Give it to someone or keep it for yourself.
Review: Cooking as Courtship is not about cooking. It is barely about food. It is about living and being with others and being with yourself; it is about respect and flexibility and generosity. It is NOT about the "way to a man's heart". Oh, my no. Maybe it is about the way to a woman's heart. Surely it is the only book about cooking and relationships between people that any non-cook man is going to be able to bear to read. The only one I can think of, anyway.

Ok, it is a little bit about food. But only about food insomuch as food is the context for so much of our interactions with others, and the author seems to genuinely wish for everyone to do better. You know, not insult people accidently and have them leave the table hoping to never sit down with you again to a meal, or deal or anything else. (obviously they won't be crawling into bed with you, or strolling down any aisles, neither supermarket nor ecclesiastical).

There are recipes, and they are excellent and not intimidating. The way you wish your mother cooked. The way someone cooks who is really not so much interested in cooking as in feeding people. Very different agendas, according to the author. But the recipes are really there to illustrate the manner of addressing food and meals described in the rest of the book. As far as the author is concerned, you can go out to dinner, as long as you do it well, which is to say in a manner which makes your companions very happy. Is all this clear? Maybe you DON'T have to read the book.... No, read it anyway. There is a great deal there. I am just mentioning the stuff I remember.

You can read the book either from start to finish, or by opening it up anywhere and reading a bit. You will laugh. You will be struck by the truth of the observations and admissions. You will be embarrassed when you know the book is talking about the likes of you. You will be smug when it is talking about someone whose actions have bothered you and you never quite could articulate why.

Give the book to chefs and cooking afficiandos, and they will be delighted at the camaraderie. Give the book to people who have vowed to never enter a kitchen, and the book will seduce them into thinking maybe it wouldn't be so bad to make some toast and coffee fro friends rather than boring them with a litany of reasons they don't cook.

Read the book for your own entertainment (and education, as there is actually a great deal of information about cooking and other subjects.) Give the book to others and find your social life improves as you are invited to more charming and delicious dinners and lunches than were even before possible.

Read the damn book and share it with others, and in time this lunatic world might soften up and sit down to dine in love and friendship in twos and threes and thirties, and we all will be better off.

Rating:
Summary: Cooking as Courtship: the Strunk & White of Flirt &Dessert
Review: This book is primarily a collection of essays on eating with others and feeding others as a way of communicating care. She, I think correctly, broadly interprets both cooking and courtship. Cooking can be as abstract as getting yourself invited to a meal or making toast and courtship is similarly expanded to include any attempt to bring people closer to you (both with romantic intent and even plain 'ol friendly interest.)

The author is particularly thoughtful and very funny. The book has a great combination of sisterly advice and a clear agenda. She wants the reader to make better, more thoughtful use of the act of feeding others as an opportunity to express care (and desire.)

If you know someone who thought "The Rules" was an evil literary pandemic. Buy them this book. It has no rules but tons of persuasive suggestions and is a funny, sexy read. Think Calvin Trillin meets Dr. Ruth.