Introduction to Pastoral Care

Rating:
Summary: Being present
Review: Arnold's book 'Introduction to Pastoral Care' is a book often used in the pastoral care course at my seminary. This brief book probably could be briefly summed up as one set of principles:

+ Be present to the one needing care
+ Focus on them, and not on yourself
+ Listen, and listen actively, which means remembering the principle to
+ Focus on them, and not on yourself
+ Don't be afraid of silence
+ Don't pass judgment
+ Seek care and support for yourself when you need it

These principles are amazingly simple to learn and state, but often get ignored. Giving advice is not pastoral care. Empathising by telling your own story is usually not helpful.

Arnold recounts the story of a visit with a person in the hospital when he was on call as the chaplain. He went into the room of a critically-ill patient, said hello, and then she began a very long story, alternately laughing and crying, and then, when finished, patted Arnold's hand and thanked him for his help. The only word he had said was 'hello' -- but he had listened, something others had been too busy to do.

This is a book that can help anyone who wants to learn how to be truly helpful. It is not just for clergy -- as church members come increasingly to learn that ministry exists at all levels (and indeed some of the most important ministry of a church is that which members in the pews give to each other), this kind of book should be more widely used as a good introduction to some of the do's and don'ts of being pastoral and helpful, and what in the end is effective ministry.