Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin

Rating:
Summary: Not for women only!
Review: As a male, I disagree with the reviewer who said that this book is for women only. On the other hand, I will state that many men may find it difficult to read. But that is not a good reason to avoid grappling with the concepts that are presented here.

Several years ago I attempted to read another book on boundaries that caused me to reach the conclusion that "boundaries" can add to division in marriage. Fortunately, someone encouraged me to try this excellent volume by Anne Katherine.

What makes this book potentially challenging for men is that many of the cases presented here involve women whose boundaries (physical, sexual, emotional, social, etc.) have been violated by men. One can easily come to the conclusion that all men are jerks. But a man can also begin to reflect on these cases and perhaps see similarities to things he has done to others (women, children, parents, coworkers, etc.) over the years.

Any growing human being wants to learn from their mistakes. But sometimes it takes a book like this to cause an individual (male or female) to see the extent of the damage he or she has done by violating various boundaries. Seeing the pain and hurt expressed on these pages might cause individuals to examine similar pain they may have caused in others.

So, while one begins to come to grips with--and begins to honor--the boundaries of others, the reader can also begin to reevaluate his or her own boundaries. In my case, I immediately thought of a physician I sometimes see who is also a friend of the family. Since I value his friendship, I now realize that it would be better for me to see other physicians in his clinic in the future.

So, men, go ahead. Give this book a try. It can only help you grow as a human being. It will most likely improve your relationships at the same time.

Rating:
Summary: A Must For Anyone Who Wishes To Learn About Boundaries!
Review: Excellent for anyone who is trying to get a handle on what interpersonal boundaries are and how they work.

The concept of interpersonal boundaries can be hard to grasp, but Anne Katherine's book makes it easy, even for a layperson. Clear and concise, this book can be read on a single afternoon, but keep you thinking for days.

Including exercises designed to help increase awareness of boundaries, and life stories that illustrate how boundary dysfunction occurs, the book paints a clear picture of boundaries, enmeshment, and triangulation.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a good parent, have a successful marriage, resolve childhood and current issues, or even manage a well functioning workplace with good employee relations.

Rating:
Summary: A life Saver!
Review: I was introduced to this book while undergoing intensive therapy in a hospital psychiatric ward. I can't say enough good things about it. It's a very powerful book that allowed me to understand so many diffuclties in my life and relationships that had left countless unanswered questions. It was like getting 20/20 vision for the first time in 39 years! Everything in my life came into focus as I read this book. Virtually every page brought new meaning to my life. I had to get my own copy and I now consider it my personal "bible." Newly discharged, I am now reading "Where to Draw the Line" by the same author and finding it every bit as meaningful. Both books are a "must read!"

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Summary: Do People Grow Up Not Knowing This?
Review: If you don't want to answer a question or get personal with someone, then don't. PERIOD. Was an entire book neccessary?

Rating:
Summary: It Changed My Life
Review: This book impacted my life more than any other I have ever read (I have read thousands), or class I have ever taken (I have two college degrees).

My children were taken from me. Social Services stepped in. I ran for a long time focussing on the lies that they accepted as fact (way too numerous to mention). I thought I was a great Mom. In many ways I was, but I now know I didn't teach my children boundaries. I grew up with none. I am still fighting for my four children, but in a very different way. I now spend the time I have with them totally focused. I try to help them to see how important boundaries are. Taking care of your self, does not mean you can't take care of someone else, in the long run, it is better for all. I didn't matter before. Today my children see a mother that cares about herself. I am working hard at learning my own boundaries and respecting the boundaries of others.

This book has changed my perspective, thus changing my attitude.

Rating:
Summary: Basic Information for Life
Review: This is a short book that is essential reading for anybody who was brought up in a dysfunctional family (over 90% of us, by most estimates). Before reading this, I did not know that boundary violation could occur when people got too near or too far away for the given relationship. My own boundaries were violated by parents that were too distant, which has caused lots of problems in my adult life. This book explained this very clearly.

Rating:
Summary: Wonderful!
Review: This is a tremendous book of relationships! With her creative writing style, the author has a knack for getting some essential points about relationships through to the reader. This book made me more aware of the root of my relationship problems and what I can do to improve the overall quality of my life. If you are in a relationship that you would like to improve on, I'd really recommend this book along with "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. They really helped me improve not only my relationships with my parents, spouse, and children but my life in general.

Rating:
Summary: A must read for those interested in personal relationships.
Review: This is an excellent book to help in the understanding of what consitiutes a boundary in interpersonal relationships with family, friends and co-workers. If everyone recognized boundaries then there would be little need for therapists and counselors. Sometimes a boundary exists where it isn't readily recognizable and that's where this book comes in very handy when working with my clients. It's written in relatively "jargon free" simple style so one can concentrate on the content of the subject matter, not the vocabulary of the author. For those interested in personal growth, this is a winner!