When Good Men Are Tempted

Rating:
Summary: Good Guidelines For Winning The Battle
Review:

After reviewing the deeply flawed "Every Man's Battle I mentioned that I would read another book with the same theme of sexual purity. To that end I purchased "When Good Men Are Tempted" by Bill Perkins. It is an honest and often disturbing look at the subject. The book claims that "Bill Perkins details a plan for sexual integrity - one that works. He shows men how to achieve a purity that will preserve the sanctity of their marriages, the security of their families, the vitality of their walks with God, and the strength of their relationships with their brothers in Christ."

The book begins with an attempt to understand the struggle men face. Perkins shows why naked women look so good and why other naked women look even better than our wives. He speaks of the addictive cycle of trying to repeat "young love" or our first sexual experiences. We want to be able to relive the original excitement we felt during those often illicit experiences. He illustrates these concepts with the example of Samson.

The author's solution to this problem surrounding lust is simply to raise the white flag. We need to surrender to God and admit the problem rather than run from it or try to hide it. Lust, he says, cannot be overpowered, reformed or starved. It needs to be dealt with and dealt with now! To be dealt with it needs to be dragged into the light so we can deal with the shame and guilt. We need to admit specific sins to God and ask Him for His forgiveness.

The close of this section contains a chapter regarding families of origin. This chapter is confusing and often left me confused as the author discussed the codependent roles we assumed as part of our families and how this leads to problems with purity later in life.

Having admitted the struggle, we are now able to find freedom. To do this we must choose our master and count the cost of the one we will choose. To cease a lifestyle of lust the cost of continuing needs to be higher than the cost of quitting. We need to see that continuing in a lifestyle will have consequences in our relationships with our families, our spouses and most importantly, with God. We need to realize that God can fix us and that He wants to fix us. As He fixes us He will help us discover the new men we are through Him. Through Him we have a new perspective, new presence and new power. With these we can now begin to break the addictive cycle that continually leads us to sin. The practical suggestions the author provides are: memorize Scripture, call on God and find what rituals lead us to sin and learn to break those rituals.

The final section focuses mostly on building accountability relationships with other men. Every man needs ally himself with a small group of men who can help him win the battle against lust by holding him accountable. There is a small section about sex and ideas for spicing up a sex life, followed by a chapter detailing some "tools for tight corners" that can be used in a moment of weakness.

The book is written in a personable way that leaves the reader feeling like he has had a personal chat with the author. Perkins admits his own weaknesses, leaving the reader comfortable admitting his own. Perhaps the greatest strength in this book is the emphasis on the "why" of sexual temptation. Having an understanding of the reasons behind temptation gives a solid perspective on how to deal with it. The author does not attempt to blame our lust on Satan, but emphasizes that our sin is ultimately our own and we need to deal with it. If the emphasis on the "why" is the strong point of the book, I would suggest that the "how" is the weak point. It may be, though, that I am looking for a magical key to stopping sinful behavior. Still, as with Every Man's Battle I am left hoping that God truly can remove this sin, rather than just masking it and helping us deal with it time and time again.

In the end, this book does a far better job of dealing with the subject than "Every Man's Battle" and it receives my recommendation.

Rating:
Summary: Good Guidelines For Winning The Battle
Review:

After reviewing the deeply flawed "Every Man's Battle I mentioned that I would read another book with the same theme of sexual purity. To that end I purchased "When Good Men Are Tempted" by Bill Perkins. It is an honest and often disturbing look at the subject. The book claims that "Bill Perkins details a plan for sexual integrity - one that works. He shows men how to achieve a purity that will preserve the sanctity of their marriages, the security of their families, the vitality of their walks with God, and the strength of their relationships with their brothers in Christ."

The book begins with an attempt to understand the struggle men face. Perkins shows why naked women look so good and why other naked women look even better than our wives. He speaks of the addictive cycle of trying to repeat "young love" or our first sexual experiences. We want to be able to relive the original excitement we felt during those often illicit experiences. He illustrates these concepts with the example of Samson.

The author's solution to this problem surrounding lust is simply to raise the white flag. We need to surrender to God and admit the problem rather than run from it or try to hide it. Lust, he says, cannot be overpowered, reformed or starved. It needs to be dealt with and dealt with now! To be dealt with it needs to be dragged into the light so we can deal with the shame and guilt. We need to admit specific sins to God and ask Him for His forgiveness.

The close of this section contains a chapter regarding families of origin. This chapter is confusing and often left me confused as the author discussed the codependent roles we assumed as part of our families and how this leads to problems with purity later in life.

Having admitted the struggle, we are now able to find freedom. To do this we must choose our master and count the cost of the one we will choose. To cease a lifestyle of lust the cost of continuing needs to be higher than the cost of quitting. We need to see that continuing in a lifestyle will have consequences in our relationships with our families, our spouses and most importantly, with God. We need to realize that God can fix us and that He wants to fix us. As He fixes us He will help us discover the new men we are through Him. Through Him we have a new perspective, new presence and new power. With these we can now begin to break the addictive cycle that continually leads us to sin. The practical suggestions the author provides are: memorize Scripture, call on God and find what rituals lead us to sin and learn to break those rituals.

The final section focuses mostly on building accountability relationships with other men. Every man needs ally himself with a small group of men who can help him win the battle against lust by holding him accountable. There is a small section about sex and ideas for spicing up a sex life, followed by a chapter detailing some "tools for tight corners" that can be used in a moment of weakness.

The book is written in a personable way that leaves the reader feeling like he has had a personal chat with the author. Perkins admits his own weaknesses, leaving the reader comfortable admitting his own. Perhaps the greatest strength in this book is the emphasis on the "why" of sexual temptation. Having an understanding of the reasons behind temptation gives a solid perspective on how to deal with it. The author does not attempt to blame our lust on Satan, but emphasizes that our sin is ultimately our own and we need to deal with it. If the emphasis on the "why" is the strong point of the book, I would suggest that the "how" is the weak point. It may be, though, that I am looking for a magical key to stopping sinful behavior. Still, as with Every Man's Battle I am left hoping that God truly can remove this sin, rather than just masking it and helping us deal with it time and time again.

In the end, this book does a far better job of dealing with the subject than "Every Man's Battle" and it receives my recommendation.

Rating:
Summary: Comments from a Pastor of Men's Ministries
Review: Aa a Pastor of Men's Ministries, I frequently have men coming to me for advice because they are struggling with the issues outlined in this book. Sadly, often is the case when these men are not willing to fight but simply give in to their temptations without realizing the consequences of their actions. Bill Perkins does an excellent job of outlining the steps needed to insure victory.
One of the highlights of the book was author Perkins full disclosure in graphic terms of his own vulnerabilities and the battles that he fought to overcome temptation. Often in ministry, you do not hear of this type of transparency and therefore, the ministry leaders credibility becomes questionable. Throughout the book, the author speaks with the authentic reality of what a man's man deals with in daily life to be able to put the Lord first and the seriousness of His commands.
As a result of the impact that I have seen in my own life and many of the men in our church, I can heartily recommend this book for everyone. This statement includes the wives and significant others who will need to better understanding the temptations that every man is subjected to in a world that has become hostile to a fully devoted follower of Christ.

Rating:
Summary: Comments from a Pastor of Men's Ministries
Review: Aa a Pastor of Men's Ministries, I frequently have men coming to me for advice because they are struggling with the issues outlined in this book. Sadly, often is the case when these men are not willing to fight but simply give in to their temptations without realizing the consequences of their actions. Bill Perkins does an excellent job of outlining the steps needed to insure victory.
One of the highlights of the book was author Perkins full disclosure in graphic terms of his own vulnerabilities and the battles that he fought to overcome temptation. Often in ministry, you do not hear of this type of transparency and therefore, the ministry leaders credibility becomes questionable. Throughout the book, the author speaks with the authentic reality of what a man's man deals with in daily life to be able to put the Lord first and the seriousness of His commands.
As a result of the impact that I have seen in my own life and many of the men in our church, I can heartily recommend this book for everyone. This statement includes the wives and significant others who will need to better understanding the temptations that every man is subjected to in a world that has become hostile to a fully devoted follower of Christ.

Rating:
Summary: A solid book with lots of practical tips....
Review: Bill Perkins did an excellent job with this book. He truly has a heart for God and a passion for men. This book will unveil the truth behind lust, addiction, and pornography. Any person that has struggled in these areas of life will now have their eyes opened to the truth that is taking place. Some people are addicted, yet clueless as to how this addiction affects them. After reading When Good Men Are Tempted, they will no longer be able to qualify for that category. I wept the entire time while reading this book. It is a must for every man, husband, father, pastor, counselor, wife, and mother! A book written for men, but an issue that affects everyone!

Rating:
Summary: Men Read This Book!!
Review: For a guy that doesn't like to read, I could not put this book down. it opened my eyes to so many things guys face daily and the reasons why we do them. It truly has changed my life and marriage. Men trust me read this book.

Rating:
Summary: Great Book!!!
Review: This book was great, I have had trouble in the past beating my wife when we made woopi and this book really opened my eyes. I wish there were more graphics in this book though, sometimes I had trouble visualizing exact what the author meant in his explanations. My wife thanks me for reading this book because now she can be proud of me again, this has made me so happy! Praise Jesus!!!

Rating:
Summary: Must read for singles!
Review: This is, without a doubt, the best book on the subject I've ever read. As a single guy I appreciate the author's straightforward approach and practical suggestions. Instead of talking in a clinical voice he relates as someone on the journey himself. I feel the first chapter, "Why Naked Women Look So Good," is the most insightful explanation of the attraction between men and women I've run across. I'm glad that a Christian author finally had the courage to not address the subject of masturbation with a "right" or "wrong" approach, since the Bible doesn't even address the subject. Instead, he provides biblical guidelines to
govern all of a man's sexual behavior-including masturbation. This book is definitely a must read for every man!

Rating:
Summary: An encouraging, very real help in struggling with sexual sin
Review: When Good Men Are Tempted is an incredibly readable andpersonable chat with the author about struggles with lust andtemptation that men face daily. Bill Perkins comes alongside the reader, puts his arm around their shoulders and begins talking about the reality of being sinful men in this world, and what we can do to be pure. As you tentatively move into the first chapter you'll notice right away there is no pretense or naiveté here. "It would be nice if religious devotion freed us from the threat of sexual compulsions," Rev. Perkins writes. "It doesn't."(p.38) Also wonderfully absent is the trace of false victory often sensed while reading other works by Christian authors on the subject of sexual temptation. Ten pages into this book, you will understand that this man has been there and that he continues to pursue God's purity for his life every day, aware that the enemy with his tools of temptation is still right there with him, as with each of us, waiting for an opportunity. With chapter titles like, "Why Naked Women Look So Good" and "Dragging [your struggle] Into the Light", Rev. Perkins discusses with the reader why lust is so powerful and resilient, clinging to us in spite of our best intentions. He offers terrific encouragement to men with plenty of humor, and exposes the subtle but deadly arrows of distraction flying all around that can derail us as we seek to live holy lives. But don't expect easy or palatable answers. Rev. Perkins presents his experiences combined with illustrative stories and clinical data, all wrapped together with uncompromising truth about who we are as men: "...as sinners, we're all contaminated with evil...if we embrace [the truth], we'll have to face those nasty secrets about our family and ourselves. These secrets are the source of your shame. They are the reason you don't believe anybody would love you if they really knew you." (p.70) Bill Perkins graciously and transparently shared his heart throughout this book, making his marvelous insights and simple empathy impact me like no other work I have ever read on this subject. I encourage any man who is frustrated with his own inability to resist the sin of sexual impurity to spend the few dollars and grab this down-to-earth, immensely helpful and edifying book.

Rating:
Summary: A good addition to Every Man's Battle
Review: When Good Men are Tempted ventures into the area of sexual immorality for Christian men. Bill Perkins does a good job of explaining why men are so suseptable to lust and gives some practical methods to help defeat temptation.

Bill Perkins starts off by examining the reasons behind lust and why it's so addictive. From here he moves on to admitting that lust has control over you and knowing that dispite all that you have done, your heavenly Father still accepts you and loves you for who you are.

He also includes a chapter called "The Family of Origin" where he attempts to discuss codependence. This chapter seemed to be out of place with the rest of the book, but was interesting regardless. I thought that the chapter was also too short.

From here the rest of the book focuses on breaking the addictive habits that are in place through identifying what you are losing from lust, what you could gain from eliminating lust from your life, finding a buddy or a small group with which to open up and expose your secrets and work together to lift each other up, and meditating on the Word of God.

I especially enjoyed the chapter on Buddyship where he talks about how men have lost the art of having deep relationship with other men. He gives some excellent advice about why it is so important to have someone you can be completely open with and how it can help the both of you draw closer to God.

This book takes a slightly more liberal approach than the book "Every Man's Battle", but is still deeply rooted in scripture. I enjoyed this book and found it very easy to read and I would definitely recommend it, but I would also recommend "Every Man's Battle" so one get's an understanding of 2 different views. 5 out of 5 stars.