Daughter of the Saints: Growing Up In Polygamy

Rating:
Summary: Daddy Dearest
Review: This was obviously a difficult book to write after years of silence as a way of life for a woman who grew up in a plural marriage. Dorothy's father, Rulon C. Allred, believed he was called to live in the Principle of Plural Marriage, which was dissolved by the church elders in 1890. Dorothy is the twenty-eighth of forty-eight children and has a unique perspective, a child among many siblings with an intimate view of the daily lives of sister-wives, as the women called themselves. Sister-wives formed a mutual support system, sharing chores and the rearing of children, as well as their husband.

Over the years, political pressure was put upon the Church of the Latter Day Saints to desist from plural marriages and confine their member to monogamy. Still, there were those who held to the fundamentalist tenets of a patriarchal religion that allowed a man more than one wife on his path toward sainthood. Eventually, many of these families were fragmented in order to avoid arrest; either that, or they moved where they would not be prosecuted, to such countries as Mexico. The Allred's fled to Mexico to avoid the law, but it was inhospitable, barely endurable for a growing tribe whose basic needs were barely met. Rulon would leave the family compound in Mexico, returning to Utah to maintain his chiropractic office with his one legal wife, who remained in Utah.

This is an shocking story, as the author reveals the hardships endured by the extended families of men who practiced The Principle. Besides the fact that first wives agonized over whether to participate in the marriages, there was the human dissatisfaction of sharing a husband, although most sister-wives succumbed to intense pressure from the men. At least they had a choice in the matter. None of the children had a choice and it is the children who suffered from a lifestyle that forced them to lie about family circumstances and constantly uprooted them from place to place to avoid their parent's being sent to jail. This only made their lives more tenuous, both children and wives making money by whatever means possible.

The author grapples with her love for her father and his complicity in causing such hardship for his children. While she faces most of the difficult truths, there is a constant tendency to rationalize Rulon's behavior, especially after he is murdered by another fanatical faction of polygamists. In the end, it is telling that Solomon chooses monogamy for herself, as do many of her siblings. However, the psychological damage to the children is immeasurable; such problems as incest and child abuse are virtually ignored, rather than bring attention to the family lifestyle. Yet Solomon is as rigorous as she is able in assessing her life in such an archaic arrangement, dedicated to speaking her truths and shining light into the darkness:" The family orchards are bearing their harvest and some of it is bitter." Luan Gaines/2004.