Rating: 
Summary: It's not fighting the good fight
Review: It was with great sadness that I read this book. Such potential, so thwarted. When Christ comes to bring freedom to us, Josh Harris writes of walls and barriers.He writes from a style that seems to indicate a lack of experience in this area. And experience is exactly what is needed to be proficient in this kind of work. The experience of failure, the angst of gender inter-relationship- this is missing in Harris' work and understanding. It is only through risk that we can experience growth, and throughout Harris' work one gets the idea that he is attempting to remove all possibility of risk, and so therefore all possibility of failure. It seems to be written from a perspective of fear. Harris also uses poor exegesis in order to understand scriptural dynamics. He applies the situations of the cultural context of the many Biblical cultures straight to the modern western culture, with no attempt to contextualize in between. He jumps from observations of the text to application, without the all important step of interpreting the author's intent. Perhaps as a result he ends up with a very legalistic approach to gender relationships, in which dating is simply "off=limits". Were this true, life would certianly be more simple, easier, safer. But that is not what life is about. It requires complex responses. It is certianly commendable to advocate freindship with the opposite gender. This needs to go on much more than it does now. And indeed, part of Christ's call of the gospel was the reconciliation of the genders, as evidenced in the Samaritan Woman. But Harris' removal of dating as an option in fact further divides the genders. He would restrict most interactions to group contexts, not allowing for the development of a close relationship, even be it platonic. We must remember that Christ's interaction with the Samaritan Woman was indidual, not with a group, and his disciples were suprised not that he was talking with a Samaritan, but rather that he was talking with a woman. Certainly Christ was not attempting to date the woman, but it was perceived as such by those within that culture, because it was an intimate, private moment. Such moments, the bedrock of relationships, would be denied in Harris' worldview. But even the lack of opportunity for development of a romantic relationship through dating flies in the face of God's best. In Josh's canon, one gets the impression there would be no Song of Songs, or major parts of Ruth. (Feet were often a euphamism in Hebrew literature for another body part.) Harris seems to take one cut and apply it to all Christians. Such can not be done. It might be necessary for some- whom am I to judge another man? This book could even be very beneficial to younger folks in their pre-20's, who feel pressured too much. There *is* way too much focus on the physical in Western relationships. Would that Harris had attempted to apply it only to those types. For a book that does approach the dating relationship from a more general perspective, I would recommend Lewis Smedes' Sex For Christians, which, despite the title, has much to offer for the unmarried and not sexually active as well. Smedes writes from a perspective of the freedom that Christ has to offer us, while we maintain moral boundaries, but boundaries that apply in different ways to different people, as Christ works with all our differences.
Rating: 
Summary: Good Help
Review: This book help's you realize that you shouldn't just be dating to find your mate, but use God's input when choosing a mate. A great book for Chrisitan teenagers, along with older people.
Rating: 
Summary: A Good Point
Review: Amazing. Joshua Harris does a fabulous job in writing this book- it helps you soooo much! I'm a twelve year old, and at my school I constantly hear the chatter of other girls and boys talking about their crushes, who is going out w/ whom, who broke up w/ whom, etc. When ppl ask me who i'm going out w/, or who i have, i can say, "No, I've never gone out w/ anyone." I used to be embarrassed to say it, but by reading Joshua's book, I am now proud to say it, because I know that God wants me to stay single until a relationship will actually mean something, instead of just building up lust and sticking more to physical likeness, opposed to true, authentic love which one will only have to wait for and let God guide you to. Joshua Harris tells you in his book that God made the gift of being single for one to organize his life... Don't grow up and get married, only to wish that you no longer had memories of other relationships that lasted a week or less; what's the point of being someone's bf/gf if you will only be crushed and depressed the next week when they find someone else who is "cuter" or more popular, and get dumped? What's the point of cluttering the path God has set for you w/ unnecessary litter? God most likely has someone there for you, so control your impatience and do things YOUR way. Trust God, and leave it in His hands, and do your best to obey His rules.
Rating: 
Summary: It's not for everybody...
Review: Joshua Harris' approach to dating is radical and inventive, and maybe even effective, but it's not for everybody. I have no doubt it works for him and others as well, but everybody's different, and his approach isn't the only God-sanctioned dating technique.The book had some good points and bad points. First, the good: I like how Harris teaches us to take dating seriously and to consider more than our own feelings. He tells us to take on selfless love, not selfish love. He tells men to respect women and not to see them merely as sexual objects (you go boy!). And hepraises singleness as a special time in our lives when we can do extraordinary things we couldn't do as a member of a couple, so don't waste that time obsessing over dating and marriage. (If only I read this book in high school!Now for some of the not-so-good points: His dating approach is based on " don'tdate until you're ready for marriage" (Yeah right!) What if you don't want to marry until you're in you're '30s? I don't think I can wait that long to date!(And I'm sure others feel that way, too.) Plus, he seems to be adament on the group dating approach. Even during what he calls the "pursuing marriage" stage,he tells us to spend most of our time with group activities. The concern here being tempted to "go too far" before marriage if you are evercompletely alone together for a long period of time. But I guess itwould depend on how much self-control you have. His dating techniqueharkens back to the turn of the century (20th, not 21st) when menwould court women and ask their parents permission before doing so. Iwas shocked when he suggested that guys should get permission from thegirl's parents before dating. I'm sorry, but I would be soembarrassed if a guy did that, and it would be a total turn-off. He'sdating me, not my parents!As I've said, Harris' approach isn't for everyone, though he does present a pretty solid argument. If you want to "kiss dating goodbye", Harris takes your hand and walks you through all the steps, and even tells you what to say to skeptical friends and relatives. This is probably a good book if you've had bad luck with conventional dating and are dying to try something new.
Rating:
Summary: Good Presentation of A Reasonable Alternative to Dating
Review: The author, Josh Harris, is a college-aged, thoroughly Christian young man who determined to discard traditional dating patterns and practice old-fashioned "courtship." Courtship involves avoiding romantic involvement until one is in a position to consider marriage. Although friendship in group activities and particular service ministries is encouraged, "coupling' is to be avoided until a young man is able to support a family. At that point, the young man does not merely date a girl, but he gets involved with her family. The book is divided into four sections, but a two-fold division seems more obvious. Chapters one through three deal with what the author perceives is defective in common dating. The rest of the book (chapters 4-16) is more or less a "how to" book,dealing with how to develop an alternative approach to finding a spouse and related issues when one chooses a courtship approach toward finding a mate. The author's reasoning is extremely logical, and it is amazing to see such a young man possess such mature insights into human nature. His thinking is crystal clear. Yet he is amazingly sensitive to the emotional issues and difficulties teens and young adults experience. He does address them. Harris writes much that is quotable, but my favorite line is this one: "The human heart doesn't like taking orders from the mind" (p.136). Indeed, with the wisdom of the young Josh Harris, I cannot imagine what monumental works he will produce when older! The only negative I noted in this well-written book is that the author rightly states that he does not believe dating to be a sin, yet later implies that those who have forsaken dating are more enlightened. Courtship might be a great way to reduce heartaches, emotional traumas, and sexual sin, as well as increase the potential for successful marriage, but all of us must keep in mind that godly people can and do disagree over these matters. A caution: this book tells it like it is and may not be suitable for younger teens. I highly recommend that at least one parent of every teen consider the material in this book, and that middle teens be asked to consider what this volume says. A lot--an awful lot--has changed in the last 20 years, and anything that can help us get our heads out the sand is helpful. Many parents and teens may chose to follow Josh Harris' advice, but even those who choose otherwise may make some changes in their philosophy of dating after perusing this work.
Rating:
Summary: Changed my life!
Review: WOW this book changed my life. I saw him speak at Creation2000 (go this year it's awesome!) I saw him with my boyfriend, and we both had made mistakes in the past but now we are totally changed and I can't thank Josh or this book enough for changing my mind. It was wonderful I have whole new outlook on life peroid! I couldnt put the book I rushed through in it in 2 days and then ran out and got Boy meets GIrl which is just as good.!
Rating:
Summary: Some excellent insights into youthful piety
Review: I first read this book about two years ago, when I was first coming to Christ, and at the same time, I was in a sinful, non-Christian relationship. It gave me a lot to think about, but my lack of convictions at the time prevented me from putting his ideas into actions. That came about 5 months later. In any case, Harris has tackled what is indeed a difficult issue for young Christian adults. What of dating? He argues that its not sinful in and of itself, it does foster temptation and can lead to sin very easily. I wholeheartedly agree just based on personal experience and observation of others. Its really hard to argue with his logic here at all. At the same time, he takes the role of humble messenger, and does not for a moment make the reader feel that he thinks himself to be better than anyone else. Most of his wisdom comes from past mistakes and personal experience, which makes him very easy to relate to. Some of his points were a bit drastic, but there would certainly be nothing wrong with living up to those things (having your first kiss at the wedding altar, for instance, seems to be a bit much). In any case, you don't have to agree with everything he says to get something out of this book and apply it to your life. I highly recommend it for all young Christians, single or otherwise.
Rating:
Summary: made me think.......
Review: I've always thought that there's no harm in dating a lot of different guys before you find "the one", but this book made me change my mind. It's a great read, gives great advice...and I just love it! I was a bit sceptical before I started reading it, but when I was finished I totally agreed with Joshua Harris, and this book has challenged and encouraged me to stay pure for my future husband and to spend these years as single to focus and work on my relationship with Christ.
Rating:
Summary: A great book!
Review: I haven't read the entire book, but my friend has it and I've read a lot of it, and I'm going to get it from the library and read the rest... what I have read is wonderful. The authors do a great just of helping you understand the reasons for waiting to date. It helps you learn what God's view is, and how to do things HIS way. It is a great book!!
Rating:
Summary: An Eye Opener...
Review: This book is an eye opener for me... it reveals the true God's intention for boy and girl, man and woman in premarital relationships. The concept is a daring revelation of purity and has a crisp clarity in what and how we are to pursue during our singlehood and certainly this book is not of this world. I actually read Mr. Harris' second book 'boy meets girl' first. Mr. Harris' life is a living example of how perfect God's concept is for us if we are to trust Him and serve Him with all our heart and mind. I realize that when he wrote the first book, Mr. Harris had no idea that he would meet and be blessed by the true joy of marriage with his wife now. It is a beautiful story, a perfect romance by the Author, Lord Jesus Christ... Bravo, Joshua and Shannon Harris, God bless you and also Emma... let it be known that God has guided me to a book shelf thousand miles apart from the two of you, to find hope and love of God through your books, and that God has worked within you to reach and teach me and I believe the works continue...:-)
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