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Summary: This book really helps limit future regrets.
Review: It's hard to not have feelings of infatuation. It seems everything from Britney Spears to children's programs make dating and attraction to the opposite sex ok. But sometimes we get into things we arent ready for and it just hurts so much in the end. This book made me realize that its better to wait instead of experiment with dating. One point that really blew me away was so simple yet so unthought of by myself. "What does short term dating do for us?" It does nothing and things like this in the book have motivated me to wait. I'm only 17 and yet when I go to school I see couples all around me, yet now instead of wondering when my turn will come, I tell myself God has a time for me and in the end its going to be so good. After all its better to wait for that 1 true love instead of 10 short term relationships.
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Summary: Are We Getting Back to Arranged Marriages?
Review: Joshua Harris, ideas on dating are rediculous. For starters all he does is rename dating, by calling it courting. What's worse is that Mr. Harris fails to realize that a breakup from a courting relationship, is worse than that of just a regular relationship. The reason that this is the case, is that in a courting relationship, you are planning to marry this person where as in a regular dating relationship you may or may not decide to marry this person.The one big problem that I have with this book, is that in the end after studying what he saying in the book that dating leads to heart ache when you break up. What I want to know is how is a breaking off of a courtship any different, in many cases its worse. Why? because when you are in a serious relationship, you are expecting something to happan, and if it doesn't develop you are very dissappointed. Now in a regular dating relationship, the view is different. Here you figure that it is just a friendship deal, if something develops in essence its a bonus. Now it terms of how you should go about dating vs. courting. What Mr. Harris is saying is to break off a courtship if you feel that the relationship is not going in the right direction. Hello, isn't this just the same as breaking up a regular dating relationship. The reason that this book stinks, is that Mr. Harris himself admits to writing this book after he broke up with his girl friend. To me this is the same as writing a book about giving up on marriage after you have just gotton a divorce. (...) I would really like you to come up with, though I know that deep down inside, you know that I am right and you are wrong (...).
Rating: 
Summary: I Followed This Book BEFORE it Was Written
Review: Although I was married when this book was written, I am writing to let you all know that I followed many of the principles in this book BEFORE it was written. I asked God for my mate to be revealed to me when I was fourteen years old and my friends had all been having sex as early as age 12. I told Him that I would not get serious with any man unless it was God's man for me and would wait for that revelation. There were several times when I almost broke that agreement and supernatural things happened to prevent me from making the worst mistakes of my life. I could never be a wife to a person who was not my best friend, so I never sought anything but friends and that is what I got. My best friend is my husband. Next year will be our twentieth anniversary. Although I did not follow every principle in this book, I did do many of them. And I am still very happily married, and God sees us through the rocky times. Now our son is reading this book. He has a real life example to see that is works.
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Summary: A book for everyone
Review: This isn't just a book for people that are thinking about dating - this is a book for any male interested in living a more godly life! I don't agree with everything that the book says, but it certainly changed my way of looking at things.
Rating: 
Summary: Not the only way for Christians....
Review: I saw the fruits of this book before I read it, and sadly they were mostly negative, despite the potential of the book's intended message. Its wild popularity is one reason why I no longer attend an evangelical church. For instance, new converts often own 3 copies of Harris' book and can spread the anti-dating gospel, but know nothing about the trinity, the Sacraments, or social justice matters. Men sit worried while their girlfriends are on a retreat because the leaders there are giving a "dating talk," which will likely pressure their girlfriends to go into confusion about their otherwise healthy relationship. Men go to the movies with a girl; they pay, they buy dinner, and then call it every term under the sun but "date" to avoid committing the perceived ultimate sin. Harris has identified the problem: secular dating can be wrong, silly, and dysfunctional. However, the alternatives Harris gives are dysfunctional too. He asserts that romantic love distracts teens from potentially good achievements. However, he fails to consider that a love relationship is itself a good thing! To create a dichotomy between fully serving Christ and dating is false. One can be a good Christian AND be in a meaningful "romantic" relationship. We lose freedom in Christ when we restrict one-on-one interactions to only one sex! While it may seem liberating to know that singleness is okay, his book strikes me as extreme. Josh takes biblical sources, which were interwoven into the culture of the time, and transports them to the present time, neglecting the original context. He uses many personal stories, but rarely quotes more than one or two lines of scripture. Using this method, one could say that "Biblical" love consists of having multiple wives, marrying cousins, or supplying virgins to keep old married kings warm at night (all of these examples occur in the Bible and are not condemned). From Song of Songs, one can infer that romantic love makes life much more meaningful, and therefore is an essential part of life. Fortunately Harris admits his ideas are not for everyone. However, since his book is all the rage, most people ignore his caveat, and take the message "the best Christians don't date" with them. Just compare the few youth group studies on the Trinity or the Incarnation to the large number on dating! Perhaps teens do need a book that challenges them to step back from the dating scene and breathe a little easier if they are dateless. However, teenagers soon grow up, and realize that relationships often require trial and error to perfect, and can be meaningful in spiritual and physical ways outside of marriage (but don't take it too far!). If you want to date, then by all means, use your liberty and date. If you prefer "courting," then court. Let's just place Harris' book in its own proper context: one man's interpretation of Christian ethics, but not for everyone.
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Summary: Somebody had to say it...
Review: This book is simplistic, formulaic and has undoubtedly damaged many lives in the most tragic way imaginable: with the best possible intent. Aside from the ideological problems with courtship, young Mr. Harris' writing is unimaginative and uninspired.
But more importantly, this book contains a very one-sided view (hence its popularity with one-sided people) of one of the most complex aspects of life, the selection of a life partner. The tragedy is that the people who are likely to buy into his theory also very likely feel strongly (as I do) that any error in this department cannot be morally corrected (i.e., divorce), which can and will result in a lifetime of unhappiness.
The Biblical pattern is not to read a fad book and run with it, but to look to the older Christians in the church for advice and encouragement. (Titus 2, et al.)
Instead of hoping for supernatural wisdom from a child, why not recognize the wisdom of the Christians God has surrounded you with -- proven by a holy life and lasting marriage relationship -- and seek the Truth?
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Summary: A Book of Lies
Review: I do not believe that Christians should only date Christians, that would be inbreeding! I don't agree with most of his ideas; they seem too bigoted and supremist. And I think that that is wrong. God would not want you to shun other people b/c they aren't Christian.
Rating:
Summary: A changed attitude
Review: This book is one man's opinion on not dating. Throughout the book he explores his thoughts on Christian dating habits. The book focuses on the meaning of dating and how God wants us to choose our future spouse. The book is divided into four main parts. The first talks about how society views dating in contrast to how God wishes dating would be. This first section also reviews ways to avoid defective dating. The second section focuses on God's love and how it parallels the love we expirience in our human relationships. This part of the book also goes over purity and respect for the opposite sex. The third section of the book is on how to respond to your new conviction to avoid unhealthy dating. Finally, the fourth section of the book deals with preparing yourself for marrige and what to look for in your spouse. I read this book at a time when I was confused about a relationship and my views on dating have taken a complete 180 because of it. Josh uses the bible, short stories, and other Christian dating books to back his opinions. He is very smart and convincing in his arguments. I recommend that all teenagers read this book to gain a better understanding and a deeper respect for God's plan of dating and marriage.
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Summary: Unrealistic and unworkable
Review: This book has perhaps caused more misinformation and confusion (particularly among young women) in the Christian world than any other in recent years. I personally believe the philosophy preached by Mr. Harris to be completely unworkable, not based in Scripture, and frankly, just plain wrong. Mr. Harris seems to believe that romance and infatuation with a person of the opposite sex is an illegitimate emotion. While I agree with him that, like all emotions, they must be kept in check, it is, frankly, ridiculous, to say that it is "God's will" for a Christian single to be absolutely devoid of such emotions and not allow himself or herself to be influenced by them. These emotions were created by God Himself as a means to draw a man and a woman together! Mr. Harris would reduce the decision to marry a person to something akin to a business decision, not unlike buying a new house or car. While I agree with him that yes, the intellect should trump the romantic emotions if the intellect tells you that being with a certain person is not good, those emotions are not illegitimate! While those emotions should not be allowed to express themselves in the form of extra-marital sex, I don't see how I could ever marry someone if these feelings were absent! Mr. Harris'warped view of the legitimacy of love and romance fuels a gross misunderstanding of God's will regarding singleness and transition into marriage. I believe that his philosophy of dating and marriage could be summarized as follows: (1)Don't date until you're "ready for marriage." (2) Only date someone whom you know is a potential marriage partner. (3) Even when you date them, your dates should be group-oriented, keeping one-on-one time to a minimum.
As to Proposition (1) above, I have no problem with that. I agree with Mr. Harris that the primary purpose of dating is to find your marriage partner. And, clearly many young people in today's society are simply not at the proper maturity level to get married yet.
But, my agreement ends after Proposition (1). Proposition (2), that you should only date someone whom you know is a potential marraige partner, begs the question, "How do you know someone is a potential marriage partner?" The answer is, "You date them!" You spend time with them! Mr. Harris would answer, "God will show you." However, that answer displays an immature faith. What would we think of the student who prays that God will help him on the test by supernaturally filling his mind with the answers to the test questions while he's taking the test? I assert that Mr. Harris' logic is parallel to this example. He seems to believe that God will supernaturally reveal His specific plan for your life without your having to seek out any of that knowledge yourself.
Proposition (3) is also fallacious. Mr. Harris asserts that time spent alone with a person is dangerous, because it opens the door for sexual promiscuity, and can also fan the flames of infatuation with the person. Mr. Harris, it is impossible to get to know someone at a level intimate enough to know that you want to marry them without spending significant time alone with that person. You will not get to know anyone in a group setting at such a deep level. I agree with you that one-on-one time is dangerous, but it's no solution to sexual temptation to allow the temptation to keep you from dating. You must learn to exercise self-control when dating. As I believe I have demonstrated, dating a person and spending significant one-on-one time with them is the only way to get to know the person at such a level as to know that you are soulmates.
In summary, Mr. Harris' dating philosophy is somewhat like the farmer who prayed, "Lord, I am praying for an abundant harvest this year come harvest time, but one thing, Lord, I'm not going to plant a crop this year. Planting a crop would be displaying a lack of faith in You and Your ability to provide me with a harvest." Dating is the planting activity that should take place in a single's life, and it is unlikely that an abundant "harvest" of marriage will take place unless it is done. Furthermore, it must be done the right way, not the way that Mr. Harris preaches.
Rating:
Summary: An undivided heart
Review: Reading the following reviews brought tears to my eyes. This book changed my life too. Through this book, I found that dating relationships just caused problems for me and I, too, learned how to recklessly and joyfully serve God with abandon instead. I may not get married in this lifetime, but one thing is for sure- I am learning what it means to be the bride of Christ, spotless, pure and devoted...with an undivided heart. I praise God for what he has done in Joshua and Shannon Harris's life. Josh and Shannon, I wish we could meet. Thank you for being willing to be used by God! -jacqueline
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