False Intimacy: Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction

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Summary: This is the book if you're looking for spiritual depth
Review: I've been reading various books and Internet resources about sexual sin and addiction -- this one demonstrates far more appreciation of the deep complexities and mysteries of the spiritual aspects of this issue. There's not even a hint of the kind of cheap, quick fix that some other books claim. Along with that, Schaumberg's emphasis on our willingness and ability to accept the nature of this world earned my respect. I highly recommend it to those who are looking for understanding in a spiritual context. For obvious reasons, I'm posting this anonymously, but I want readers of this review to recognize that they probably already know people who are quietly struggling too, so I'll identify myself as a successful high-tech executive, often speaking in public and in the news. In the high-tech culture, our technology makes sexual materials so easy to obtain; our stress makes it tempting indeed.

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Summary: Three stars
Review: It was good, but I sort of hoped there'd be pictures.

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Summary: Book is partly useful....
Review: Sexuality is a charged subject and when you add religion into the mix it gets interesting, but add Fundamentalism, legalism, and a perverted view of God given sex, and you get a witches brew. While the Bible and the N.T. has a healthy view of sex for the most part, it didn't take long for self-righteous holier-than-thou legalists to make a hatred for sex and sexuality a merit badge for "real" Christianity. Some of the early church fathers taught that all sex was evil. [They themselves were doctrinal heretic perverts] Others encouraged men to cut of their testicles and in some cases their penises. "Chastity" became a hallmark of "holiness" [a word that simply means 'dedication to a god'] but many forgot that the temple prostitutes were also considered holy or dedicated to their god. Late "fathers" like Augustine made any sexual aspect of life a horrible crime. While early Roman Catholic priests were married, the heresy of celibacy took hold and like a cancer conquered a whole belief system. The modern Christian church has also had a huge hangup over sexuality, with some misanthrope Fundamentalists very recently teaching that oral sex in marriage was "immoral." The denominations with the biggest anti-sex theologies turn out the worst violators, witness the AG (Assembly of God) which gave us the tasteless HYPOCRITE degenerate Jimmy "anti-Jesus rock" Swaggert and Jim Baker. Swaggert was exposed by a preacher he had "outted" for sexual immorality. Ah isn't justice sweet. This book is supposed to deal with sexual addiction, which the author tells us is that which controls one's life. Obsession, in actions or thoughts, is wrong. But there is much more here. A quick reading of the thesis showed me many inconsistencies. This book is by a religious author, on a religious imprint, for a religious readership. Yet he blames sexual sin "as a refusal to depend on God as the only source of true fulfillment..." (!) [p.60] While he is right that all 'sin' [Gk. missing the mark] in essence is autonomy from God, many of the subjects/sinners are supposedly Christian. The author, like many sex-hating fundamentalists lays a guilt trip, no matter what a person does or doesn't do.

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Summary: Christian-oriented perspective on sex addiction.
Review: The author holds a strongly Christian-based approach to treatment of sex addiction. In many ways, this perspective is not wholly incompatible with 12-step approaches, although he makes only passing, and not entirely favorable reference to SA, SLAA, etc. He speaks from an obviously seasoned vantage point as an experienced clinician, and his work seems particularly geared toward members of the ministry who present themselves for treament of sexually compulsive behaviors. He holds most Christians to task for faulty beliefs, and he's not afraid to pull punches: "Ron admitted his adultery........'And you deserve to die for this!' I added." This was said in a calculated manner to remove all ego defenses from an addict and co-addict spouse, and in lesser hands such a style could lead to devastating results. Schaumberg obviously knows what he's doing, although his logic is not carried convincingly in places, ("Human remorse is actually subtle rebellion against God") and seems poorly applicable to non-Christians. But for those to whom it's directed, this book will serve where more secular readings (Carnes, et. al.) won't reach. Christian sex addicts will also find the various books of Doug Weiss to be useful.

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Summary: Do not agree with described relationship between God & Man.
Review: The symptoms of sexual addiction are described in no uncertain terms. The problem is identified and suggestions for correction are clear. Some comments about the nature of God and Man's relationship to God do not match my own beliefes which made it hard for me to accept some aspects of the book. I believe the book is still a good source of information (if you filter the theology) and a good starting point for overcoming sexual addiction.

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Summary: excellent, comprehensive book
Review: This book effectively addresses the continuum of sexually distructive behaviors and all the spiritual depravity in all of our hearts. The chapter on restoring your marriage is particularly helpful.

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Summary: Maybe is better to go directly to a councelor
Review: This book treats the (wrong defined) subject of sexual addiction in a very superficial way. He doesn't approach the subject deeply and gives only a glimpse about the problem and ways of solution (in a espiritual councelor view), then he asks us to go to a councelor. So i think it is better idea to go directly to the councelor instead of spending money with this book. Chapter 7 (about sexual addiction in the church) is really an exception because it presents the matter in a deep and intelligent way.

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Summary: False Intimacy has false determinations about God & sex
Review: This book was a complete turnoff. Instead of relating to scientific, psycological explanations of sexual addiction, the author blames everything on lack of closeness with God and not being saved by Jesus Christ. This author could use a good shrink. Take respondsibilty for your actions. Is God or the absense of him respondsible for everything. What a crank. Buy this book and go to seminary school. What a waste of time and money. Pure garbage. Now I need to buy another book to find out about my sexual addiction (psycologically) not spiritually.

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Summary: Full of Information
Review: This book was recommended by my counselor. I found it to be helpful in understanding my addiction. It also gave me ways to get through it and although I'm still not "cured" I'm on my way. This book offers hope not only to the addict but to those around them.

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Summary: An Eye Opening Experience
Review: This book was truly an eye opening experience for me. After helping me to understand the nature of my husband's sexual addiction it also helped me to see the role I played in creating false intimacy in our marriage. Dr. Shaumburg hits the nail on the head theologically speaking, and gets to the root of the problem, man's sin. I highly recommend this book to anyone who suffers from sexual addiction and especially for family members of those who suffer as well.