The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups

Rating:
Summary: Why I hated Joe Myers' book
Review: My family spends a week each year in a quaint old farmhouse with no television. "Quaint" and "TV" don't really fit. I always bring a variety of books just in case one of them ends up being a dud. This year I brought a John Grisham novel (it doesn't matter which one--they're all the same); In Love and War by James and Sybil Stockdale (Jim Collins just mentioned it one too many times); and The Search to Belong by Joseph Myers (which is on Carl George's nightstand).

Joe Myers' book was the first book of the week. I enjoyed his writing style, well, until I actually began to pay attention to what he was saying. Then, it just made me mad. In mid-paragraph I would stop reading to myself and begin to read the book aloud to my wife. "Listen to this guy: Joe Myers says, 'A church of small groups? Sounded like forced relational hell to me'" (page 10).

"Exactly," my wife responded.

"You, you can't say that. I'm the Small Groups Pastor. You can't say that." This was a matter of job security. The last thing I needed was bad P.R. from my co-leader and spouse.

I continued to read much like I watch Christian television or slow to see the wreckage of a car accident. With each page turn I anticipated that this guy would finally hang himself. What exactly was he getting at? What was his agenda? Did he envision the church as some sort of YMCA-like gathering place where belonging overshadowed belief?

The more I read, the more irritated I became. Jesus didn't commission us to go into the world and connect people. Yet, Joe Myers so much as invalidated "fully-devoted followers." What about Acts 2:42?!!

Just as I was about to write Joe off as one more neo- orthodox, emergent guru, something began to resonate in my thinking. Up to this point, I looked at our congregation and saw many disconnected people who needed to be in a small group. But, when we asked our members to take the Purpose-Driven Health Assessment, we were somewhat baffled by the results. You see the people who were in small groups and the people who were not in small groups rated themselves most highly in the same two categories: Worship and Connectedness. I thought, "Boy, we're going to have to re-educate our people on what it means to be connected. These people think they're connected, but they're not even in a small group. They don't even know what Connectedness means."

This book that I loved to hate gave me a key insight: Everyone in our congregation WAS already connected. Maybe not to each other, but they were all connected to somebody: a family, friends, co- workers, neighbors, and other church members. My job changed with one epiphany: I no longer needed to connect the unconnected. I just needed to invited folks to do a 6-week DVD-based Bible study with people they were already connected to. How simple is that?

I'm pleased to say that in our Fall campaign this year, just over 1/3 of our groups were formed exactly this way. Each week a group of friends, co- workers or neighbors are gathering in a home, a break room, even on a train and studying God's Word.

Thank you, Joe Myers for writing the book that I love to hate.

www.futuregroups.net

Rating:
Summary: Fresh air!
Review: The "Search to Belong" is fresh air in the stale and suffocating climates of today's church communities. Myers uncovers myths of belonging and begins us on a journey towards a more healthy, less controlling, open view of community and transformation. You will never look at your small groups the same. This book is very helpful and a relief from the tired, broken and narrow view of community most churches unknowingly have. Read this book.

Rating:
Summary: Fresh air!
Review: The "Search to Belong" is fresh air in the stale and suffocating climates of today's church communities. Myers uncovers myths of belonging and begins us on a journey towards a more healthy, less controlling, open view of community and transformation. You will never look at your small groups the same. This book is very helpful and a relief from the tired, broken and narrow view of community most churches unknowingly have. Read this book.

Rating:
Summary: good for questions
Review: This book asks a lot of great questions with a lot of keen insight and research into why we have the problems we do with small groups. His thesis on levels of belonging is pretty brilliant, and there are other just really helpful cultural insights into how Americans work in their relationships. It does not have answers, models, or solutions, though. For those seriously wanting to rethink what we've done thus far and creatively and innovatively contribute to something more, check this book out.