Rating: 
Summary: ::: out of the box honesty ! :::
Review: (...). . . this book really did help me navigate how people connect in community, he specifically drills into the aspects of community as a public space, a social space, a personal space and as an intimate space. and he points out that each has different strengths and he doesn't suck you into the 'intimate space is the best and other spaces are subordinate' logic which was really refreshing!. . . myers comments helped deconstruct the real nuances of christian community . . . we have all been to more small group seminars, labs, and evening training sessions at church than we care to admit and we have consistently heard that the right small group programs will grow the church, create discipled Christ followers, and return us to nt model of chrn'ity, yet statically the most 'successful' small group churches in america only experience about a 30% penetration rate . . . why is that if this is as good as it is promised? we wouldn't have to 'advertise and push people into groups they would run to them . . . PEOPLE NATURALLY CRAVE COMMUNITY BUT ON THEIR TERMS NOT OURS . . . the bottom line is that people can feel a substantial level of belonging to a church on many different levels and not be in a small group, he is really on to something in the chapter that talks about the american culture's push off from the "front porch" and the churches need to find neutral ground (like starbucks has) to interact with others in the in-between space of social and neighborly friendships something in between out in public space, but also not in my home because that is often too intimate.
this whole idea of how people belong is talented thought . . . this book quickly became a member of my top 10 favorite books . . . do yourself the favor buy the book!!
Rating:
Summary: Hope remains.
Review: About ten years ago, I spent considerable time studying, and teaching, the concepts found in "Boundaries: When to say yes, when to say no, to take control of your life", by Cloud and Townsend. It contained principles that were difficult for me, and for our church, to absorb; although when it was understood and applied, it changed many lives, including my own. Now Joe Myers has taken it a step further, as he explores the various ways that people choose to belong in different spheres of life. If a person has a healthy understanding of interpersonal boundaries, "The Search to Belong" will resonate in their soul. If they have yet to learn how to live with respect for their own boundaries, and those of others, this book will start them down that path. Once we get past the worn out ideal of a cookie cutter society and church, we just might be ready to apply what this book presents to us. And once we do, i expect that the level of judgement we hold against each other within the larger church world will begin to fade. Hope remains.
Rating:
Summary: Hope remains.
Review: About ten years ago, I spent considerable time studying, and teaching, the concepts found in "Boundaries: When to say yes, when to say no, to take control of your life", by Cloud and Townsend. It contained principles that were difficult for me, and for our church, to absorb; although when it was understood and applied, it changed many lives, including my own. Now Joe Myers has taken it a step further, as he explores the various ways that people choose to belong in different spheres of life. If a person has a healthy understanding of interpersonal boundaries, "The Search to Belong" will resonate in their soul. If they have yet to learn how to live with respect for their own boundaries, and those of others, this book will start them down that path. Once we get past the worn out ideal of a cookie cutter society and church, we just might be ready to apply what this book presents to us. And once we do, i expect that the level of judgement we hold against each other within the larger church world will begin to fade. Hope remains.
Rating:
Summary: A must read if you have ANYTHING to do with community or SG
Review: Before your church jumps into the next fad diet of small group curriculum, you must read The Search to Belong. In a day where the Sunday "event" drives our churches, and shrink-wrapped small group programs promise to deliver intimacy, Joe's book blows the doors off conventional thinking and offers a brilliant yet accessible approach to community. Spencer Burke creator of www.TheOoze.com, author Making Sense of Church
Rating: 
Summary: Rethinking Small Groups
Review: For several years my library has been littered with books describing how small group ministries are the salvation of the church. Any number of authors use anecdotal and biblical evidence to suggest that inimate small groupings are the ideal for the church, and that churches who want to survive and grow need to spend all their energy on small groups. Joe Myers, on the other hand, brings years of church experience and thorough research on the nature of community to suggest that the small group movement in Christendom might not be all that it's cracked up to be. With this book, Myers invites questioning on the assumptions of small group ministries, and renergizes other types of ministries as well. The core of Myer's work is based on the work of Edward T. Hall, who identified four types of social space: public, social, personal, and intimate. Building on Hall's research on the four spaces, Myers suggests that far too much time and energy has been directed on promoting intimate space as the ideal. Rather, churches need to not equate intimacy with significance. Thus, perhaps more efforts need to be directed at appreciating the value of public space, and promoting opportunities for social and personal space. Focusing on the need for social space, Myers suggests that the loss of the front porch in American society (a primary mediator of social space) has been appropriated and devalued by the church. Myers argues for reclaiming the front porch mentality, which he sees behind the success of Starbucks and other gathering oriented businesses. However, Myers doesn't only deal with theory. The book is written in a personal, narrative style filled with anecdotes and examples of what Myers is trying to say. His last chapter in particular describes an on-going conversation with a pastor in a local church who uses Myers thoughts as a basis for rethinking the ministries of their church. This chapter offers a practical application of what Myers is trying to say. My one fear with this book is it's publication as a part of the Emergent/YS line will cause individuals to think that Myers work is limited to ministries in the postmodern setting. Myers book transcends the category of "emerging church," offering great insight for churches of all types, theological backgrounds, and ages. I don't know how folks from an evangelical, conservative, mega-church background will relate to Myers work. What I do know is that it speaks to this mainline pastor in a medium sized congregation. Myers helps me to regain a sense of balance regarding the types of ministry available in my church. And I believe that his words offer a balance that would be helpful to all.
Rating:
Summary: close encounters of another kind
Review: I don't know why I read this book. I have always been suspicious of books on intimacy. And this looked like another small group book. Small group books suck. This book is different. Myers helps us navigate how people connect to a community, be it in public space, social space, personal space or intimate space. Each space has different strengths. Myers doesn't say--intimate space is the best and other spaces are subordinate and introductory to it.Rather he holds up each space as valid and available for people to experience real connection to your community. It is nice to hear of someone talk about community without seeing the pyramid which declares the highest expression of community is the small group. There are simply other ways that people really belong. This is helpful to me, having been a small group member and leader who brought certain expectations to the group (i.e. wanting to move to real group commitment and intamcy) but failed to see how people were enjoying social space and making significant connections without my poking prodding and manipulating them into giving something of themselves they didn't want to give to me or the group. If you understand the space that people want to connect in, you can adjust your approach to make connection meaningful for them without denigrating the way they really want to connect to your church. Myers vision brings nuances to the concept of Christian community. It is reductionist to simply speak of small groups, or public worship. If people relate in 4 spaces, our responsibility as a church is create an environment which allows people to optimally connect in each of the four spaces. Bloody Brillant stuff.
Rating:
Summary: Helps you to be a church member too.
Review: I have been looking for "Intimacy", in churches and small groups, and I am always disappointed when I don't find it. This book helped me to understand why this is not likely to happen, and is not even a desirable goal. (It clarified what Intimacy actually is) This book lays out a framework for finding relatedness on all levels. After reading this book I am better equipped to actually find what I am looking for. Definitely a "keeper".
Rating:
Summary: good for questions
Review: I've been to countless seminars and read probably dozens of books on small group ministry. For the past couple of decades, we have consistently heard that the right small group programs will grow our church, create fully-devoted Christ-followers, ease the burden on pastors, return us to New Testament Christianity, etc. I've spoken loudly to that effect myself. Yet as I have tried to implement them, I've found that either it doesn't work as well as advertised or there must be something wrong with me. Sure, there have been many people helped through small groups, but the small groups have also been accompanied by frustrations. Balancing fellowship-vs-study/accountability is always difficult; many people just aren't ready for that level of intimacy and accountability; and it usually isn't the ideal next-step for newcomers. On the other hand, the relationships built there are often very important to people. But now there's a fresh answer to help make some sense of it all. Joseph Myers' "The Search to Belong" is a timely and refreshing look at what community really is. He explodes some of the myths of belonging that we have often believed. He helps us see, through research and experience, the four different "spaces" of belonging--public, social, personal, and intimate. What's more, he helps us see the value of each space, how relationships are carried on in each space, and how to balance them. Bottom line, people can feel a substantial level of belonging to a church on many different levels. Understanding people's genuine community needs, and working with it and affirming it will get us a lot farther than trying to fit everyone into the "intimacy" mold. Myers has an inspiring chapter on "Searching for a Front Porch" in which he challenges us to find ways to interact with others in the in-between land of social, neighborly friendships--not "out there" in the public world, but also not "in here" in my private home. The book is probably worth it just for that chapter. Not only are the principles in "The Search to Belong" applicable to church leadership, but understanding the four spaces of belonging goes a long way toward understanding our other relationships--in our marriage and family, neighborhood, work, etc. Good stuff; worth the read.
Rating:
Summary: Now possible: guilt-free community development in the church
Review: I've been to countless seminars and read probably dozens of books on small group ministry. For the past couple of decades, we have consistently heard that the right small group programs will grow our church, create fully-devoted Christ-followers, ease the burden on pastors, return us to New Testament Christianity, etc. I've spoken loudly to that effect myself. Yet as I have tried to implement them, I've found that either it doesn't work as well as advertised or there must be something wrong with me. Sure, there have been many people helped through small groups, but the small groups have also been accompanied by frustrations. Balancing fellowship-vs-study/accountability is always difficult; many people just aren't ready for that level of intimacy and accountability; and it usually isn't the ideal next-step for newcomers. On the other hand, the relationships built there are often very important to people. But now there's a fresh answer to help make some sense of it all. Joseph Myers' "The Search to Belong" is a timely and refreshing look at what community really is. He explodes some of the myths of belonging that we have often believed. He helps us see, through research and experience, the four different "spaces" of belonging--public, social, personal, and intimate. What's more, he helps us see the value of each space, how relationships are carried on in each space, and how to balance them. Bottom line, people can feel a substantial level of belonging to a church on many different levels. Understanding people's genuine community needs, and working with it and affirming it will get us a lot farther than trying to fit everyone into the "intimacy" mold. Myers has an inspiring chapter on "Searching for a Front Porch" in which he challenges us to find ways to interact with others in the in-between land of social, neighborly friendships--not "out there" in the public world, but also not "in here" in my private home. The book is probably worth it just for that chapter. Not only are the principles in "The Search to Belong" applicable to church leadership, but understanding the four spaces of belonging goes a long way toward understanding our other relationships--in our marriage and family, neighborhood, work, etc. Good stuff; worth the read.
Rating:
Summary: A Refreshing Way to Talk about Community
Review: I've read plenty of books on building community in the church. Most focus on "plug-and-play" programs that promise increased involvement in small groups and yet leave me feeling like a relational engineer (put 7-10 people in a room with a Bible and pray they start to like each other...). Joe's book dives beneath the thin veneer of this approach into the fundamental ways we think about community. His honest (and courageous) critique of current community thinking is essential for anyone wrestling with how we can connect in meaningful ways. His call to go from being programmers to "environmentalists" is both brilliant and refreshing. This is not another strategy book detailing a new program. This is a book about how we think and talk about belonging. And yet, the practical implications of Joe's thoughts will be clear. This book will challenge your assumptions about how the church "does community" and lead you into a more relaxed and enjoyable way of letting community happen naturally. It's an excellent read.
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