Rating: 
Summary: His promises kept
Review: I believe this book to be honest and straight-forward when it comes to how women really think. It was refreshing to note that this man was so close to the mark without being condesending and/or manipulative in regards to how a woman should be the one to continuously try to make the first repairs. I have also read the partner to this book and for the most part I agree with it. I enjoyed the personal touches and the integrity in which these stories were told (The men's version). I truly hope all men make the decision to open their minds and lower their pride to secure their marriage and love their wives. I also believe that women should read the partner book for this as it will give them a better understanding of what men need as well. I will go so far as to suggest that the couples read the books simultaniously for there will be great rewards on both sides. Men, if your wife wants to leave, read this and APPLY the suggestions. You will not be sorry. Mrs. Janz
Rating:
Summary: Should be mandatory for every guy
Review: I had a relationship break up a number of years ago and I asked God to help me understand what went wrong. After reading a lot of relationship books, most of which were not worth the paper they were printed on, I stumbled upon this book by Gary Smalley. It was then that I realized that I was unprepared for marriage. I related to so many of the examples he gives about what men do WRONG, and helped me understand my role in a relationship.
I wish the high schools would teach out of this text instead of the promiscuous texts that they now use in teaching about marriage and family.
I cannot recommend this book enough!
Rating:
Summary: If only he new
Review: I have been married 27 years. This is the best marriage book I have ever read.Our marriage was good, now it is excellent.
Rating:
Summary: Every Man MUST read this
Review: I have gone 17 years of marriage and didn't realize so much about what my wife wanted and needed. This has completely changed my outlook, for the positive, on my marriage.
Rating:
Summary: OUTSTANDING,APPLICABLE,DIRECT!!!
Review: I have had this book in my collection for several months but hadn't read it. My wife and I were experiencing marital discord, so I decided to read it. I showed it to her and explained that I was reading it, but she beat me to it. She insisted that I read it, and I found it to be almost exactly the answer to our marital problems. I do disagree with the author in one respect however. I still feel that the woman must be mature, and therefore responsible for her own actions as well as a man. In my circumstances I know I am mostly to blame for our problems. This book will be a lifetime marriage consultant to me. If you men who are determined to reconcile or improve your marriage-PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. If you don't benefit then your heart isn't in your marriage.
Rating: 
Summary: Reader Beware
Review: I have read both books, For Better or Best and If He Only Knew. You would think that a set of husband/wife books would describe his responsibilities in one and her responsibilities in another. Smalley tells men how they should behave toward their wives in "his" book, but in "her" book he instructs her how to teach him how to behave. The overall tone of both books is guidance on how the woman want the man to behave and how she can teach him to behave the way she wants. In Smalley's seminars, he credits his program with an approval from a leading feminist. In other words, the feminist movement concurs with Smalley on how men should behave. Understand now that it is the feminists who want the men to move over and let them lead. If you behave the way a feminist wants you to behave, then she will be able to submit to you. This appears to be a philosophy of leading where the woman wants to be lead so that she can follow you. Is this the emasculation of Biblical headship? There are many different ways in which a wife can manipulate and dominate her husband without being a dictatorial tyrant. These companion volumes give us some insight into those techniques. I have even had a divorced, single mom tell me that the books were manipulative. Christ is the greatest example of love and is the head of the church as a picture of the husband being the head of the wife. HE says: "If you (Christians, the church, His bride) love me you will keep my commandments." The church is in the process of being conformed to Christ by seeking out and doing His will. Smalley has the husband listing to the desires and expectations of the wife and complying with "her" will. He labels them as "her needs" but she is the one determining what they are. The needs of the church were met when Christ subjected Himself to the will of His Head. God and Christ may very well be doing something through and with the husband that the wife knows nothing about, like Job. Smalleys books basicly advise to ignore that possibility. Turn your hearts aways from the long term, unknown objectives (Abraham, Job) and turn to the more immediate demands of the woman so that she may be less likely to declare separation for unreasonable behavior. I searched both books in vain to find a reference to 1 Peter 3:1 that clearly says that a wife is to be subject to her husband "..even if he is disobedient to the word." Eve suggested to Adam what her preferred course of action would be and Adam listened to her. Sarah suggested to Abraham that they should take certain steps to fulfill God's promise about a son, and then got angry with him because of the consequences of his decision. Mrs Job advised him, but her words were the very words of Satan. Isn't Job glad he rather bluntly refused her advice. Even David, who admired the wise and intelligent Abigail, never appears to be seeking her wise counsel after the wedding. Smalley has, somehow, figured that if you take two imperfect people affected by sin, that only one of them seems to come to all the wrong conclusions. He puts conditions on the husband in order to obtain the submission of the wife that I cannot find a Biblical basis for. There may be some good advice for the alchoholic husband who comes home after an adulterous night and abuses and berates his wife. But for the average couple, the husband is to love his wife even if she is not all he wanted her to be because he chose to do so, and the wife is to see to it that she reverence (fear, stand in awe of) her husband (Eph 5:33) even though he is not all she wants him to be. If she submits/adapts to her husband, as Scripture commands her, rather than seeking another masculine image to which she is willing to submit, she is more likley to find herself one with him rather than at odds with him. She is also less likely to encounter her "prefered image" in the form another man.
Rating:
Summary: Paydirt For Married Men
Review: I just recommended this little treasure to a friend whose wife has "shut down", and whose marriage is headed for disaster, so I decided to take a second trip through it myself. Guys, this little book can save your marriage. You just don't realize how you are driving her away. Smalley takes an honest look at himself, and at me (and I wager, at you)and it hurts...I've found some tears in this process. We are to love our wife like Jesus loved the church, and gave Himself for her. As spiritual heads of the home, it is our responsibility to meet these deep needs that are so different from our own. This book will open your eyes. A book is not a quick fix for a marriage in trouble. But this little book is preventive maintenance and on-going tune-up material. For the guy that senses he is already in deep trouble, this treasure from Smalley can be a turning point. I am going to buy several copies for some of my dearest friends. Every man should understand his wife's needs at this level. Wake up gentlemen, before you hurt her any more.
Rating:
Summary: Paydirt For Married Men
Review: I just recommended this little treasure to a friend whose wife has "shut down", and whose marriage is headed for disaster, so I decided to take a second trip through it myself. Guys, this little book can save your marriage. You just don't realize how you are driving her away. Smalley takes an honest look at himself, and at me (and I wager, at you)and it hurts...I've found some tears in this process. We are to love our wife like Jesus loved the church, and gave Himself for her. As spiritual heads of the home, it is our responsibility to meet these deep needs that are so different from our own. This book will open your eyes. A book is not a quick fix for a marriage in trouble. But this little book is preventive maintenance and on-going tune-up material. For the guy that senses he is already in deep trouble, this treasure from Smalley can be a turning point. I am going to buy several copies for some of my dearest friends. Every man should understand his wife's needs at this level. Wake up gentlemen, before you hurt her any more.
Rating: 
Summary: How to be the man your wife will really like
Review: I liked this book's Christian perspective better than the humanistic, semi-mythological perspective of Men Are From Mars. However, one drawback for those who don't have a Bible handy are the scriptural references to look up. I guess this is not for backsliders like me :-) Smalley gives me hope for improving my marriage, but he also takes a rather dry, didactic approach -- of course, this might be just what some men need: don't comfort me, just tell me what to do. On the other hand, maybe I unconsciously resent his success! In the author's innovative view, the husband is 100% responsible for how his wife responds, which is rather hard to take for those who have grudgingly admitted to being (maybe) 51% of the problem. But except for a few rare cases, he claims to be right and to be successful in his counseling. Hmm. Maybe I should be trying harder! Still, I give it 4 stars because of the importance of the subject matter and because there are so many hopeful ideas to try.
Rating:
Summary: Again and Again
Review: I read Gary's book a few years ago, when my marrage was doing "well", and it got better. This last week my wife got the book out again and left it where I would find it. It was a hint and I know it. It was her way of saying something important, and I better listen, so I'm reading it again, for the first time. Do not stop reading your Bible, but add this book to your reading time. There are many "instant success" and "make money quick" books you could get, but this one really pays off.
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