Rating: 
Summary: Excellent book (with a few minor qualifications)
Review: This is an absolutely amazing book! Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoker, the primary authors have done a wonderful job of breaking the paradigms about male leadership. It definitely provides the roadmap to the elusive oneness we all desire in a marriage. I have heard this book advertised before and must admit that I thought it was written primarily for women. The original title of the book is, "Every Woman's Desire." It has now been changed to "Every Man's Marriage." This is a much more appropriate title.Most men who read this book with an open mind will find themselves saying, "wow, that fits me to the "t"--particularly those parts that speak about trampling your wife's essence. I thought (until I read this books) that I was a fairly sensitive guy, but now I see that many of the problems that I had in my previous marriage and in my current relationship stem from my inability to see myself as a "servant leader." Its no wonder that the women in my life have rebelled against it. I see such a difference in my fiance's response to me since I began to place her needs above (or at least equal) to my own. I always had problems with the idea that the man controls the thermostat of a marriage, but I now see how true that is. Having said that, I do have a couple of criticisms of the book. First, the authors continually use the analogy of a man being the bondservant to his master (wife). It was presented so often that it began to sound patronizing. If we are to compare marriage to our relationship with Christ, then it is clear that while Christ condescended to our level, we are in no way "his master." In the same way, I have a problem with the idea of the man being the leader, but his wife being his master. It sounded a little like thinly veiled politically correct double-speak to me. I also had to force myself to read the first several chapters. While it had great information, one has to wade through the idea that the authors were presenting something different than the commonly held idea that men are nothing more than neanderthals who need to be saved from themselves by their women. About halfway through the book, the authors finally clarified that being a servant leader does not mean giving the wife everything she wants. I would have liked this to have been clarified a little earlier in the book. Finally, at some point the book begins to sound like a collection of anecdotal stories, many of which show how self-sacrificing one of the authors is toward his wife. That probably was not his intent, but that is how it began to sound. It became a little repetitive after a while. In conclusion, this is an excellent read. One that should be read by every man who wants to truly invest in his marriage and experience the oneness that God intended for us. There are some problems with the book, as I noted above, but if one can get past those, he will find a virtual treasure chest of information.
Rating:
Summary: A "must read" for every man and woman
Review: What an encouraging book this was for me. I feel that the authors truly understand a woman's desire for intimacy in a marriage. This is a fresh approach towards that goal and I have found it to be very promising. Most paths towards intimacy come up short - and some can even be damaging (like the "tie-breaker" model of Biblical submission). There were times while I was reading this book when I began to cry - feeling that, at last, someone understands.
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