The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Rating:
Summary: If you felt you were never "good enough" read this book
Review: I have been searching for answers to many of the problems in my life. Why didn't I feel confident, why did my family make me feel like I was never good enough, and why did I feel like I could never live up to there standards. I was given this book by my counselor and it felt like I had an epiphany. This book explained all that to me, because it felt I was reading all about my life. It wasn't ME it was THEM. As christians, we do not have to live by any standards, but have only the faith to believe that even though we are not "good enough" we are forgiven. It makes it so much easier to deal with the opinions of others when we realize that it those other people trying to put their standards of living on us and not God. I have always thought that every person should live by their own convictions, but I still felt that maybe I was not convicted enough. If I did not feel the convictions of sin that they thought I should have then I must be a terrible sinner. These standards are all show and legalistic in nature. God said that his "Load is easy and his burden is light" Man is trying to add to that burden to try and earn his way into heaven and that is totally contrary to what the Bible states. If you want to share your experiences with me I would be more then happy to discuss them with you. I am a mother of 4 children and I have been raised in the faith. The church I belong to has many different "factions" and I am trying to deal with that and my own mother who does not realize what she is doing to me. You can email me at [e-mail]

Rating:
Summary: Very good , helpful and informational.
Review: I have read and purchased several copies of this book as I, myself was in a spiritually abusive church. I would say this book rates at 10 because it is accurate and very helpful to abuse victims because it helps them see that they are not the only ones and also the fact that it "is" abuse. For people that were raised in this type of system, it can help them to understand what is happening to them. I really appreciate the authors who wrote this book and have given these books to others to help set them free. Wanda Mason

Rating:
Summary: Only Jesus is "the anointed one".
Review: I have read this book. The singular providence of God that brought me to read this book was such that it would take up all my review space to tell.

Suffice to say that in this book I painfully recognized an on-going situation of subtle spiritual abuse. And even though most of that abuse was not intentional on the part of those responisible for it, it nevertheless was abuse, and the hurt and pain of that abuse does not go away overnight.

In the New Testament there is only one person spoken of as being "annointed" in the context of spiritual authority. That person is the Lord Jesus ALONE. That is why He ALONE is called "the Christ", the Messiah which being translated means the annointed one. No where in the New Testament is a pastor or elder spoken of as being "annointed" in any special way that other believers are not.

Spiritual abuse occurs, intentionaly or unintentionaly, when leaders put themselves in the place of Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit in the lives of the members of their congregation. When they chronicaly do so, they forfiet the respect of their office, and disqualify themselves from ministry. To take an Old Testament passage out of context to say such a leader can not be rebuked or dealt with because they are "the Lord's annointed" is dangerous indeed and in itself constitutes spiritual abuse.

One reviewer was agahst at how this book was used to "destroy a church". That is possible, but such blame can not be placed on the authors any more then a murder by a hand gun can be blamed on the gun manufacture. And it is also true, as Proverbs 18:17 tells us, that the one who comes first with their story appears to be in the right. I don't stop reading my Bible because others have twisted and used the Scriptures for un-godly ends. And how often has the "other side of the story" shed light and understanding that makes clear that the story as first heard was not the whole story?

Spiritual abuse is an issue and problem that needs to be recognized for what it is. After reading this book, I also read Wisdom Hunter by Randall Arthur. That book complements this one, and you will find it also profitable.

Rating:
Summary: This book will tell you if you are on of off track!
Review: I read the book in 1997. What an eye opener. I was searching for the real meaning of the "Gospel" It had to be more than just "The Good News" It was. Instead of learning so much about spiritual abuse, I learned what the gospel was and was not. If the Gospel would be taught, God grace would do the rest. I can't believe how many chruches abuse their members in the Name of Jesus. God Bless Bob Coker, Canton, ILLinois

Rating:
Summary: I'm Free
Review: I wanted to write a rebuttle to a review below, from Bjorn Candle, as well as a short review. I feel bad for the poster below who said her church was torn apart. I feel though that she has not read the book. The authors do not advocate destroying ministries, gossiping, slandering, talking behind people's backs..etc. In fact, it is against those things they are speaking. You are encouraged to speak the truth, not gossip behind closed doors. Either the readers of the book felt abused and went off in anger, or the church was incorrect in it's teachings and needed to end. Unfortunately, as this book points out, many times in a spiritually abusive situation, the real problems are not adressed and those who point out a problem are labelled the "problem" or troublemakers. I don't know what really happened in her church, but I would urge her to read the book before writing a review.

I've been abused in several different church settings. Many of the things this book points out have happened to me. This book was freeing. I do not feel compelled to go back and confront anyone in old church systems. I just feel like I now know who I am in Jesus and I can move forward in His freedom, not in the bondage of works and appearance.

Rating:
Summary: The message of God's grace abounds in this book
Review: It has been my experience that many Christians who speak of God's grace and mercy in fact live grace-less lives and inflict their grace-lessness on others. The result can be hurting souls that writhe in human-induced torment only to hear that they are resisting the conviction of the Holy Spirit. Or, they walk away from God because they are unable to tolerate the pain caused by the legalistic demands of others. Or, they give up on reading the Bible because their God-given intellect can't reconcile with the narrow, rigid interpretations that are presented as the one and only truth by their spiritual authority figures. This book helped me find a way to feel whole and Christian. While reading of this book, I was often dumbstruck with the authors' ability to describe in accurate detail the source of many hurts, confusions, and fears. (I thought their comments about the children's chorus "Be Careful Little Eyes What You See" were right on target! That song always gave me the willies!) I read this book with a healthy dose of skepticism. I resisted and continue to resist the tendency of some people to define themselves as a "survivor" of this or that type of abuse. Abuse of any kind follows a continuum. My personal experience wasn't nearly as extreme as some of those related in this book. I did not end this book feeling more convinced that I was a victim than when I began. I simply understood the dynamics and subtleties of the abuse more clearly. I recommend this book highly. I don't know that folks who participate in inflicting spiritual pain on others will recognize their behavior in this book. So often, they have the best of intentions and sincerely believe that there way is the (only) right way. But I think folks on the receiving end of abuse will have many "aha!!" moments while reading. Shalom and God Bless!

Rating:
Summary: I wish I had read it sooner
Review: It's right on target. I've seen all of the signs of spiritual abuse in several churches I've attended, and I'm in a church now where the signs do not exist among the leadership (and it's easy to dodge the self-righteous members who do practice any of the bad signs... no church is perfect). The difference between churches that use manipulation and those that practice grace is like night and day.

The key to preventing spiritual abuse is balance. God has placed boundaries around ministers and laypeople alike which should not be crossed. When the "leaders" run roughshod over the church members' boundaries while misusing Scripture to protect themselves from legitimate criticism, something is wrong. Pastors cannot claim authority reserved solely for God or expect to control people in ways that only the Holy Spirit can do. God has rules for leaders to obey, and ways for laymen to confront leaders about sin.

I have to disagree very strongly with those who say that this book is anti-leadership or that this book causes problems in churches.

One of the examples used in the book is about a pastor whose congregation expected too much of him. Yes, some churches do place burdens on pastors that are too hard to bear; so this book is for wounded ministers as much as for wounded laypeople. Yes, we're guilty of expecting our pastors do do everything when God really gives ministries to every believer.

Van Vonderen and Johnson warn people who read the book not to use what they have learned as a weapon, but to take action only in the proper spirit. Of course, any time someone takes action in a church, real problems will become visible. My question in every case is: are those problems caused by those speaking out, or have they been there all along and are only now being exposed? People just causing trouble need correction or should be encouraged to move on. People exposing existing problems should be heard out, and solutions to benefit the entire church must be sought. Sweeping exposed problems under the rug is not an option.

This book isn't written for rabble-rousers or disgruntled church members or anyone else of that sort. It is for Christians who have been wounded by the church and who need God's healing. It is fair, it is doctrinally solid, and it gives effective counsel. There is something beneficial for everyone... leader, wounded Christian, or loved ones of people in either group.

Rating:
Summary: One of the best on the topic
Review: Only those who've endured spiritual abuse could fully understand and appreciate with clarity the message of this book.

For me, it is an anointed message and has helped to preserve my faith from being totally shipwrecked by the chaos endured under an authoritarian and abusive church leadership.

For those who think this has become the latest psychological 'fad' to follow, a scapegoat philosophy to buy out of obedience, you're wrong. The Church is in the middle of a spiritual warfare battle unseen down through the ages. We shouldn't be surprised as the Scriptures clearly reveal this will be so.

What better way for the enemy to destroy the witness of the saints than to do so from within, through abuse of leadership and authority.

This book nails difficult and controversial topics about the church and church leadership, with clarity, compassion and insight. As well, the author(s) warn over and over that the subject is not to be arbitrarily applied to every dissension and dissatisfaction of churchgoers. They are addressing an habitual and destructive style and outworking of those in leadership... those who don't build up the flock entrusted to them, but weaken them and tear down their faith and their ministries.

This is a clarion warning for the entire church. This book should be required reading in the seminaries where our future pastors are learning the ways of leadership.

I speak from experience - I survived an incredibly abusive and coersive fellowship. 90% of us have, over time, walked away from that fellowship which had been our spiritual 'home' for our entire lives. Many of those now have a faith that is in tatters. The walking wounded in the Body of Christ are myriad on the cusp of the Millennium, and this book gives partial explanation as to why.

To all church leaders and those in ministry at any level: get this book, read it soberly and carefully. You'll not be sorry you did.

Rating:
Summary: It is subtle, but so real!
Review: Powerful much needed book for today. How it must break the heart of God to see such abuse occuring within His Body today. But yes, it is there. This is a very enlightening and practical book. A must read for you and for many with in the churches today. Don't let the title throw you, you need to read this!

Rating:
Summary: Read this book if your yoke is heavy
Review: The basic message of this book is simple but important: God does not weigh his children down with guilt, God does not work his children to death, God does not tell his children to submit to abusive family members. That's the dramatic stuff and this book is well worth reading if you need to hear this particular form of Good News.

The more subtle stuff involves mistaking the fruits of the Christian life for salvation. Another reader thought this was a simplistic feature of the book, but I think that (with the very best of intentions) many churches get conned by this subtle form of the anti-Gospel: if you don't go to all the church meetings, you're not a real Christian; if you don't work on all the committees, you're not a real Christian; if you don't speak in tongues, you're not a real Christian; etc., etc.

This book does not constitute a witch-hunt for "cults". The material is drawn from every-day situations, including the dramatic and almost incredible to the every-day sorts of situations we want to say "no" to and sometimes find difficult.