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Summary: I am so grieved by this book...
Review: Although I am sure there must be legitimate instances of abuse of authority in churches, my own experience with this book was not that I saw it help anyone, but that it brought about a treacherous and tragic sequence of events in my church. I found the book not to be balanced at all in its approach to the exercise of spiritual authority in the local church, seeming to condemn as abusive any such exercise, regardless of how warranted it might be. It opened the door in my church for a few to lead a mutiny which caused a wonderful church which had served its community for a decade to be ripped apart and destroyed. It was my church too. And although I didn't see or agree with what they are so sure they saw. I was not consulted or asked about how I would be affected as they led their crusade! I saw my beloved pastors torn to pieces as they desperately attempted to deal with gossip and slander initiated against them by people (some even leaders) engaged in known sin and determined to destroy any symbol of authority who opposed their behavior. All the while these "brethren in the faith" were waving this book as their "call to arms" to justify their treachery. Perhaps there are abusive authorities within the church that need to be exposed, but I would dare say there are also many church members full of their own character flaws and weaknesses who come to churches looking for a place that will just (in the name of love & grace) put a blanket endorsement on whatever they want to do and how ever they want to live. Woe be to the church leader who, being a person of conviction about Biblical righteousness, ever dare to try to maintain peace and order in the church community or dare to rise up and oppose ungoldly conduct...for they will likely pay the price with the loss of their ministry and their very own spiritual lives. It is grieviously sad and the authors need to take account of the damage being done. I would not have even given this book one star if this review form would have allowed it.
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Summary: A must read whether you agree or not
Review: Any book dealing with the subject of abuse is highly likely to ignite controversy. Johnson and Van Vonderon tackle the tricky subject of abuse in the supposed sanctuary of the church with tack and understanding. Whether you're a church leader or member it's well worth reading this book. Invariably those in leadership will find the book lacking. Those recovering from a period of fellowship under abusive and controlling leadership will find it a breath of fresh air. Such a division of thought is obvious depending from where you look. Strange though it seems it is demonstrably true that abuse occurs in situations where trust is a premium quality - child care homes, caring for the mentally ill or infirmed - why not then in the church? Whether leaders like it or not many have abused the trust placed in them by the members and have quite literally become too big for their boots. This book has the courage to expose this abuse and should be welcomed for that alone. If a leader is not abusive, they have nothing to worry about. Maybe though they protest too much and would prefer the church stay silent whilst people suffer. The authors do not agree, neither do I. A must read for anyone who thinks they are in a fellowship where abusive practices are going on.
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Summary: Should Be Required Reading For Every Christian
Review: Awesome. Clear. Concise. Precise. No confusion in this book. Only pure, clean, uncut truth about forms of abuse, how to regognize them, how to avoid them, and how to escape from abusive systems and relationships. This book also helps perpetrators of abuse to recognize their destrective behavior, and STOP. This book should be required reading not only for every Christian, but also for every person, religious or not, in any leadership position as it will help such persons to stay focused on their duty to treat every other human being as a person of equal value.
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Summary: Had a rough time in manipulative churches? Check THIS out...
Review: Believe it or not, you're not going crazy. There are multitudes of "wolves in sheeps' clothing" abusing and controling earnest seekers of Truth in Christ's holy name.
THIS BOOK sheds light on a much overlooked issue.
A must read for fans of Frank Peretti, Ron M. Enroth, and C.S. Lewis.
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Summary: The attack on God's annointed continues.
Review: Finally, disgruntled church members have a cause to rally for--spiritual abuse. This modern age of rights has spawned a new generation of Christians who refuse to accept the Scripture's timeless principles of authority and instead run to the nearest ear. That ear is now called a "Christian psychologist." VanVonderen's book is a rallying cry for those that can't handle God's conviction in their lives. While church abuse does exist in many denominations, the answer isn't psycho-analysis, but a clear definition of the Word of God. The Book of Timothy does reference abusive preachers, "brawlers," which can be a destructive thing in the body of Christ. However, the answer isn't to listen to your feelings, but to measure your Pastor against the Word of God. If he follows God's Word, then you are under the obligation of the Holy Spirit to follow him. If he leads contrary to the Word of God, then you should quietly find a preacher that does. The deciding point, however, should not be your feelings but God's Almighty Word. There should also be respect toward the office of the Pastor. Running to the nearest "Christian" psychologist is not, has never been, and will never be God's way of revealing His Will in your life. He has ordained the church in this age and we are commanded to follow a shepherd, whether or not he soothes our feelings.
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Summary: Free to Flee! I feel like I'm born again "again"
Review: For years I have fought labels like rebel and "Jezebel" ~ I felt like I was hearing God and being obedient to His call. But unless I was doing what those in positions of authority required, it was not "an acceptable sacrifice". If I did jump through the hoop, the hoop was raised. I saw wounding within the Body of Christ but when I tried to address the issues, I was told I was the problem. I considered turning my back on Christianity because it was making me crazy. But as I kept my eyes on Jesus, God heard my cries and lead me to His truth pointed out scripturally in this book. It addressed every issue, answered every question and put an end to the confusion brought into my life by modern day Pharisees & Sadducees. It helped me to realize that leaving an abusive system is not the same as running away from a problem. Christ has set me free and I am free indeed. I would recommend this book to anyone who feels they have lost their first love or anyone who wants to experience true freedom in Christ.
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Summary: One of the best of it's kind
Review: Full disclosure is probably necessary at this point: I not only attend the church where the author (David) preaches, I work for him, too. I can attest to his personal integrity and his commitment to proper, evangelical Biblical exegesis. This book is one of the top two or three on the topic, and I highly recommend it to others. It's insightful, timely, and has plenty of examples to help "shine the light" on bad situations. I know it's effective, too: we receive hundreds of messages every year from those who have read the book and now feel liberated to love God again. In no way does the book encourge parishoners to villify their pastors, or go looking for occasions to "feel abused." It does, however, help expose an all-too-frequent phenomena of pastors who, in the name of God, abuse their authority to achieve their own destructive desires. God Bless!
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Summary: Reply to A reader from Chicago, IL , March 3, 1999
Review: I am replying to "A reader from Chicago, IL , March 3, 1999 The attack on God's annointed continues." WOW, while I'll agree that this could be used as a scape goat to God's discipline for your life, but to blindly trust and follow someone just because they claim to be God's anointed. Come on! How do you know who is God's anointed. I was destroyed by a group of so-called God's anointed. His banner over us is love. If a leader isn't following the 2 greatest commandments of love, anointing means nothing. That word, anointing is thrown around way too much. We are all called to do the work of an evangelist. It has nothing to do with "anointing". It is God's command to christian believers everywhere. It has to do with obedience. I have not read the book, but I have lived it. Trust in God!
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Summary: Reply to reader from NC from the reader in Chicago
Review: I don't know what type of church experience you had. I can't judge either way. I do suggest, however, that you take your Bible off the shelf (take the most modern version, so it doesn't hurt your feelings.) dust it off, and look at Scripture. Consider for a moment the king-to-be, David, who refused to kill the wicked, and I repeat, wicked King Saul because he was "God's Anointed." that term you hate. He could have killed the king and have been justified, yet he didn't touch him. (I Samuel 26:9) That is just one example. In the Bible, God always worked through the leadership of one man. The Apostle Paul commanded people to follow him as he "followed Christ." If a pastor/leader is following the Biblical principles for leadership, we are commanded to obey him, even we dislike his personality or are convicted by him. Don't misplace conviction with "abuse." I'm not in any way condoning abusive and manipulative brawlers. That is against God's standard for leadership. However, we must use God's Word and not our feelings as the guage. Simply because a pastor confronts a member about a particular sin in their life doesn't mean he is wrong. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse mentions love many times, but what about the many passages about rebellion? What about Christ turning over the money changers tables in the temple? He even called people vipers and hypocrites. I'll bet that damaged their psyche! Folks, we need to grow up and start worrying about the lost rather than our own petty feelings.
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Summary: Exposing the Pink Elephant
Review: I feel I must chime in to review this book. The authors define well the aspects of a dysfunctional system. The rules of don't talk, don't trust, and don't feel are conveyed with accuracy in an often unlooked setting, the church family. I highly recommend this book as not only to deal with dysfunction but to get a better feel of the grace of God. Jeff's other book, Families Where Grace is in Place, deals excellently with grace, how to look to God for all of your needs, and how to not control your children. This book is not a herald for mutiny but puts a face on the pink elephant in the room. Read the book and make your own judgement call. Do I agree with everything they say? No. Who does? As for the negative comments on this page, they trouble me. I am both angered and frustrated.
One person is discussing repressed memories. What does that have to do with this book? He also says it describes every church he has been in. We have a tendency to gravitate toward those churches with leadership that align with our dysfunctions. Another person talked of how the book destroyed their church. The person said a few members led a mutiny with the book. How did a few people take over a church? Where was the leadership and the membership? It sounds like the person is really grieving the loss of their church and that is a sad thing. If those people were engaging in known sin (and just not what the pastor didn't like), then those people were wrong. The book doesn't condone that. The authors are not responsible for people's distortion of the truth. One set of comments is really troubling. They both are from the same city, probably the same person. Insulting us from the beginning, the remarker suggests that only his translation is best and that because we don't agree with him we must not be looking at our Bibles (he mentions us dusting them off). He ends his comment by saying, "Folks, we need to grow up and start worrying about the lost rather than our own petty feelings." Dismissing feelings is one of the first signs of a dysfunctional family. The second round of comments is even more interesting. Using God's Annointed again (he like referring to himself as that in caps), he goes into a tirade about Christian psychologists. And he sums up with the don't talk aspects of a dysfunctional family by saying, "If he (a pastor) leads contrary to the Word of God, then you should quietly find a preacher that does." I highly suggest you read this book. If it doesn't affect your life, then you have lost nothing. It could, though, set you free!
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