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Summary: The Art of Dating by Sun Tzu
Review: "If ignorant of both your enemy and of yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. Know the enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles you will never be in peril." - from The Art of War by Sun Tzu, 500 BC"If ignorant of both your date and of yourself, you are certain in every date to be in peril. When you are ignorant of your date but know yourself, your chances of success or failure are equal. Know your date and know yourself; in a hundred dates you will never be in peril." - from Date...or Soulmate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less by Neil Clark Warren, 2002 AD Okay, okay, so maybe that's more of an extrapolation than a direct quote; and no, your date is not "the enemy", but that's precisely the central focus of this book: knowing yourself. Cultivating a sense of earnest introspection and discernment. Finding someone starts with finding yourself. If you're looking for romantic tips and techniques you'll find them in the hundreds of other books written on the subject of "dating". Unfortunately, none of them approach the honesty, clarity and usefulness of Warren's contribution. You will find only a few new or incredibly innovative items in his book, but the immutable principles he rediscovers, distills and organizes will spare readers countless hours, dollars and heartaches. Read this book, do the brief inventories and exercises, then apply them. You'll vastly improve your chances of finding the soulmate you're seeking, and will do so in far fewer than "a hundred dates".
Rating: 
Summary: this is a great book, BUT....
Review: ...you'll have to see the listing of the previous edition ("How to know if someone is worth Pursuing in To Dates or Less")to see all the 5-star reviews. (Preview pages may be available later for the new edition, but are available on the original's page NOW.)
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Summary: Get "beyond chemistry" by using this book!
Review: Date. . . or Soul Mate? How to Know if Someone is Worth Pursuing in Two Dates or Less, by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D., is an extremely practical dating guide from the founder of eHarmony.com. The book is like a handbook on the psychology of compatibility and time management. And it provides tools and tips for making the dating process as effective and time-efficient as possible. As a dating and relationship coach working with singles looking for a life partner relationship, I had heard a lot about eHarmony.com and its particular protocol. Clients tell me that rather than sort through various online dating profiles themselves, eHarmony.com has you first take a personality test. From the results of that test, members are then introduced to other members that, according to Dr. Warren's formula, they would be most compatible with. In my live lectures and virtual teleclasses, I frequently have stated my agreement with Chapter 2 of the book entitled "Know Yourself." I have heard singles claim they already know everything about dating and relationships, but complain about still being single. I use this chapter, and the ones that follow, "Your Must-Have and Can't-Stand Lists," to direct singles to identify what they're looking for in a partner. Dr. Warren generously provides readers with the fifty most popular must-haves, and the fifty most popular can't-stands, to help articulate what frequently has become an amorphous blob of an ideal mate, that they will only recognize by chemistry. Once you have these lists, Dr. Warren suggests that you "burn them into your brain," as they will now serve as your "shopping list" for finding your soul mate. He describes how to be "other conscious" rather than "self-conscious" while dating, and suggests areas to question your dates about to help you determine if your must-haves and can't stands will be met. He addresses the importance of emotional health and its powerful effect on compatibility. These chapters provide great directions on how to navigate the frequently confusing dating waters. I found the section on "Seven Significant Similarities" in chapter 8's "Differences You Must Not Overlook" especially important. In his 30 years of practicing as a psychologist and working with singles and couples, Dr. Warren has identified certain key similarities that strongly contribute to marital success. They are: 1) spiritual harmony; 2) desire for verbal intimacy and ability to be intimate; 3) level of energy; 4) level of ambition; 5) expectations about gender roles; 6) interests, and 7) personal habits. I found the last one, personal habits, to be the most eye opening. Dr. Warren contends that the degree to which one person attends to neatness and orderliness in his/her life, should not differ too much from those of whom he is dating. I don't think I would have given this life habit much credence before I read the book. Rather, I would have suggested that it wouldn't be until a couple were living together that they would create a household system that works for both of them. But Dr. Warren makes a strong case that you should observe how your dating partner attends to neatness and orderliness BEFORE you live together or marry, and determine ahead of time if you could actually live with him/her. The only weak part of the book is towards the end, when Dr. Warren tries to quantify the principles of negotiating a "great deal" in a relationship. I think that he made a great effort in attempting to take the intangibles about dating and partnering and make them practical up until this section. In my opinion, determining if you got an "good deal" still remains intangible. Of course, Dr. Warren uses Date or Soul Mate? to make a case for signing up with eHarmony.com. I suggest that you use the principles of his book to help you keep focused as you travel the road in your search for your life partner.
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Summary: Mutual Benefits
Review: Finding the one is a process of learning the difference between males and females, and the roles they perform in dual gendered relationships, and in some homosexual relationships. Conditioned to choose between one of two options which may come naturally to males - of either 1) search and destroy for dominance that the military and other organizations sometimes find so useful, or 2) possess and control, also for dominance - females seeking soul mates and/or loves of their lives are required to seek instinctively the male upon whom she may influence sufficiently to share the life of a male to the extent that she may modify the intensity of either choice. Often, that modification is merely a guide, or anchor, of how, when and where to focus those natural tendencies in her male to achieve the desired result, assuming she has respect of the male upon whom she relies. Without such influence, she has neither credence nor function except as ornament, social or economic freeloader, or servant. This time-tested tradition is not well documented, nor examined for its efficacy but may properly characterize the stress of living with males who are automatically thrust into the competitive arena. It rarely works in reverse however for some reason since women are not known to require this kind of support, nor have they traditionally found it in abundance among men to use at their disposal. Characteristically, the simplicity of this model may be applied to women to define the unique strengths males bring to the lives of women beyond the biological capacity of fertilizing them to produce children. Since the world continues to be mostly male oriented, however, we have yet to reach the question in order to answer it adequately. It may lie within the realm of security, however, to aid women in the blossoming of their confidence as they mature, and forming the parameters of any boundaries which may exist. Qualify under ....beyond the chemical balance of gender dynamics.
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Summary: Best Use for Book: Killing Roaches in Your Room
Review: I am always on the lookout for worthwhile relationship self-help books. This, unfortunately, is not one. The recommendations are largely superficial at best, with few or no original points or slants. The author fails to mention the import of "soulmate" connection. Although his intentions may be good, he seems to have "dispatched the job" of writing this book in favor of displaying his ego and advertising his eHarmony website, which male customers should avoid like the plague. In both book and website, the author demonstrates that his "foolproof system" actually features more holes than a piece of Swiss cheese. It is better that unattached males and females seek other avenues for insights into successful relationships.
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Summary: NONESENSE
Review: I found Dr. Clark's writings insulting and amusing. He also degrades the dating/courtship process. I am a Christian and have read many books on finding a date/mate in life. None of the other books blatantly degraded or insulted the reader's intelligence (via his choice of words and phrases) as Dr. Clark has. It's unadulterated bashing! The infamous 20 questions are ridiculous....one should write their own questions and use their own judegment and criteria when evaluating their date. The whole process takses time if you really want to give a person a chance (get to know them). Some people are able to decide if a person is right in 1-2 dates, whereas others might not be able to or not want to. Monitoring your date for behavior and communciation is abusrd and defeating. His whole perspective (point of view) on this subject is abusrd and insulting. I did not receive insight on identyfying a mate/date with this book. I would recommend Be Your Own Dating Service, Nina Atwood, M.Ed., L.P.C. She is eloquent in writing and puts dating in it's proper perspective--she doesn't insult or degrade the reader's intelligence or process of finding of mate. Every writing should be taken with a grain of salt--not every word written is gold or set in stone.
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Summary: A must have book on women
Review: I just bought this book and I love it. A good book on "how to" books to pick up women. It's simple, honest and the author did his research. This book is one of the best books I've read on the subject. There's a lot us guys can learn in this book. The title is accurate. This book is a must have. A great investment.
Here are othe books I recomment:
1)"How to 'Pick Up' Beautiful Women" by John Eagan - By Far The Best Of All The Dating Books!
2)"U.S.S." by Leil Lowndes.
3)"How to Meet the Right woman" By Roger Ratcliff
4)"Understanding Women" By Romy Miller
You can find more books under the subjects of "how to pick up women", "how to pick up girls" and "dating" on this site.
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Summary: Some Afterthoughts
Review: I reviewed this book before, but now I have some afterthoughts to share. Compatibility, no matter how many facets or points, only goes so far. Science is a great tool, and yes, is very helpful even in interpersonal relationships. But there are things that are immeasurable; things intangible that can't be measured and put on a chart and analyzed. I can't put a finger on it myself. My point is....it only goes so far. It does not apply to everybody; nor does it work all the time. You can have a successful, happy marriage based on just a few compatibilities, and everything else works because the couple are very much in love; enough that they work things out! Believe me, working things out covers a multitude of incompatibilities, and so does love. But it's real love that I'm talking about. This book is very helpful. But it's only part of what you need to know, and part of what you need to do to find your soulmate.
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Summary: VERY INTERESTING BOOK; SOME GREAT POINTS
Review: I've read several dating books, and, after a while, they overlap, appearing too similar. Most of them give pep talks and have their little strategies for making fine impressions on others. But, what's the point of all the above if you're meeting people who are not personality matches for you? Or, what if you're blinded by outside appearances yet don't really know what suits you best for a long term relationship? So, while I don't know if Warren's book is a panacea, he sets up some new and refreshing ideas on how to match personalities.
I took the test at eharmony, which was free, and it gave me some insights into my personality, as well as personalities which are best suited for me in dating. How much is that worth to me? Well, enough to put in some time to buy the book and read it. If it's going to save me some time and help me find the right person, rather than be with someone not so great, I'm willing to put up a little money. That said, if anyone has an idea of a better book, especially one that helps you expand your network, feel free to shoot me an email at: SONOFHOTPIE@YAHOO.COM
Rating:
Summary: VERY INTERESTING BOOK; SOME GREAT POINTS
Review: I've read several dating books, and, after a while, they overlap, appearing too similar. Most of them give pep talks and have their little strategies for making fine impressions on others. But, what's the point of all the above if you're meeting people who are not personality matches for you? Or, what if you're blinded by outside appearances yet don't really know what suits you best for a long term relationship? So, while I don't know if Warren's book is a panacea, he sets up some new and refreshing ideas on how to match personalities.
I took the test at eharmony, which was free, and it gave me some insights into my personality, as well as personalities which are best suited for me in dating. How much is that worth to me? Well, enough to put in some time to buy the book and read it. If it's going to save me some time and help me find the right person, rather than be with someone not so great, I'm willing to put up a little money. That said, if anyone has an idea of a better book, especially one that helps you expand your network, feel free to shoot me an email at: SONOFHOTPIE@YAHOO.COM
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