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I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships And Romance

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships And Romance

List Price: $10.99
Your Price: $10.99
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: God inspired
Review: "Choose this day who you will serve..." Who are you living for--self or God? If God, the world's way of pairing up does not work. Flirting to get attention, making out because it feels good and "going out" because you feel like you belong to (and own)someone is not a godly way to live the single life. Although I am in my late 20's I reread this book and found it again an amazingly insightful and helpful book to make sure my thinking and actions are in line with God's biblical priciples. The paradigm I had in my teens regarding relationships with the opposite sex was a formula for trouble; I knew I needed a change. I did change my paradigm after reading this book in my early 20's for the first time and have no regrets, just joy.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Very informative
Review: This is a great book to get or have if you have questions about being a Christian and dating. The forward by Rebecca St. James is very encouraging too. This is very useful information on dating the Christian way versus dating the secular (or worlds) way. Even though the title is "I kissed dating goodbye", this book has steps on how to date using scriptures from the Bible.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Kiss Long-Term Love Hello
Review: This book takes a very mature look at what dating is supposed to be, as opposed to what it is. In today's society, the hottest babes are the ones with the tiniest waists and the biggest breasts, and the coolest dudes are the ones with the biggest pecs and the fastest cars. But will these hot babes and cool dudes make the best long-term partners? Probably not. Although the tingling in your toes is foremost on your mind when you meet someone of the opposite sex, there are other things to consider. For example, will this person make a good partner? Will superficial chemistry make you happy when you're 50? Again, the answer is no.

Morality aside, there are many valid reasons to wait for sex, even if you aren't in alignment with the Christian faith. Although this book is targeted to Christians, it's really a must-read for any teenager or young adult who is beginning to explore the murky waters of 'dating.'

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: A Warning Against Premature Physical Committment
Review: Harris warns against provoking emotions and sexual feelings that cannot be satisfied within a marriage. He suggests that premature physical activity short-circuits the process of getting to know the other person. He recommends that people get to know each other in social situations within the church, and through shared participation in shared ministries within the church, rather than through one-on-one dating. He suggests that traditional one-on-one dating is a rather artificial way to get to know another person in detail. He does not oppose all one-on-one dating, but suggests that this should be kept at a minimum, and only when the relationship is quite advanced.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: the book about dating that is not about dating
Review: This book has influenced by now millions of lives around the globe. Let it influence yours!
Some people say the book is legalistic and it says dating is sin. That is not what I read.
The issue is not whether to date or not, but to put God central in your life as a Christian.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: An Excellent Book for Believers
Review: This book is for anyone who has felt like dating is all but a game. Joshua Harris has given Christians a new way to view dating and not feel like you are left out if you are not dating. It's full of new ideas and ways to take dating seriously instead of another game like so many people of today play.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Totally off kilter
Review: I borrowed a copy of this book from my Pastor. Mr. Harris is totally off base. His rather overt suggestions (if not out-right statements)that dating is anti-christian is laughable to the extreme. I consider myself a good christian and have met the woman of my dreams by dating.
Mr. Harris, in my belief, has some strong issues with women. I suggest he truly put his hands in our lord and talk to a faith based counselor as soon as possible.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: This books biggest problem? Terminology.
Review: In "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," Harris demonstrates perfectly the reasoning behind the old quote, "don't fix what's not broken."
Harris takes the normal routine of teenage dating and attempts the impossible. Removing all temptations that come along with it.
The process seems simple enough. First, take a caveman approach with labels. Dating bad, courtship good. He presents dating as an activity teenagers are obsessed with. Going from person to person, with no long term goals in mind, and ultimately feeling empty in the end.
Courtship is presented as this holy, pure thing where the couple avoids being in any tempting environment such as being alone with each other, or getting too physical. All the while keeping marriage as being the ultimate goal.
The problem with the "courtship," mindset is that it eventually destroys more relationships than it helps. By avoiding personal time in order to reduce temptation, newlywed couples quickly realize they don't know as much about each other as they first thought. Ask any married couple and one will quickly find out that the way someone acts in public and around friends can often be quite different from the person they are when alone with them. I personally would have gone through a few divorces myself if I had taken this approach. Girls who seemed normal in public were suddenly people I didn't want to be around when alone with them.
While Harris makes a good attempt, he needs to realize a few things. The first being that temptation can never be completely removed. If teenagers want to mess around, they will. All the rules in the world won't stop that.
Second, Harris needs to realize that to a teenager, dating and courting is essentially the same in terms of the end result. Anyone who has witnessed a high school breakup knows that they were not just "dating" for fun. Even though marriage probably isn't the first thing on their minds when they start dating, they do ask themselves if a long term relationship is possible with that person.
Where this book gets dangerous is when parents read it. Let's face it. The idea of a form of dating where your child doesn't get physical in any way is very appealing to the parents of teens. As a result many churches, and expecially youth group leaders, have grasped onto this book as if it were a new revelation straight from the Bible. I've personally witnessed teenagers in relationships suddenly leave the church because they don't feel comfortable bringing their boyfriend/girlfriend there since they get glares everytime they hold hands.
While I give Harris credit for making an attempt, reality shows us that the real answer is teaching kids right versus wrong along with what's expected of them, and then trusting them. Not saying we trust them and then slapping them with a million and one rules and regulations that must be followed since we really can't trust them.
This book had a good idea. However it should be kept in the fiction section due to it's near impossible expectations for teens.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Too Politically Correct.
Review: We as Christians have become too politically correct in what we accept as Christian reading material. Where in the Bible does it say that we have a finite amount of love to give. Every time we love and get hurt, the Lord gives us the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. In the end, we have a greater capacity to give love to all of those around us; especially, to our spouses. Mr. Harris creates a world of predjudicial views towards other Christians who might be struggling with some of life's problems. He deems them as being unacceptable dating material. This is an open attack on the teaching's Jesus, " Love
one another, as I have loved you. " This issue here isn't purity
in dating, but his incorrectness in not saying that through forgiveness and redemption with God, you can date and resist
temptation with God's help. Did Joshua Harris not have any self-control at all when he was dating? Did he not trust that if he had a Christ-like love for his dates that he would not treat them
in the manner he did? Despite some of the reviews I've read, I found this book to be devoid TRUE Christian principles on LOVE. He used a topical subject of today, to promote his own fanatical and puritanical beliefs on dating. This is the kind of material
the Bible tells Christians to guard and protect their hearts from. I rate this book as being good as a trashcan liner.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Seemed like a good idea at the time
Review: There is a good message here for school-age guys and girls struggling with the pressures of dating. Knowing yourself and setting strong boundaries is great. Having the counsel of your friends and family (assuming they are functional relationships) is good. Picking a mate from a group of friends is super.

No problems here.

But if you are no longer a teen, then it is basically a load of rubbish.

The problem is the way this book is written seems to create a sense of fear around traditional dating, to the point of it almost seeming "wrong" or sinful. This is absolutely ridiculous.

Life is about risks - calculated risks. Relationships are an incredibly risky thing, emotionally, physically, intellectually, spiritually. And yet, without taking the risk, we will never see the reward.

Evangelical Christianity today seems to be risk-adverse, and this book seems to capitalise on this culture. If you believe in God - as I'm sure many/most of this book's readers do - would you not believe in living life more boldly? I'm not saying go out and make stupid choices.

What I mean is this: Know yourself, make smart, intelligent, and well-thought-out choices. Pray. And at the end of the day, make a decision, take the risk. If you have done this, and you are interested in someone, ask them out. If you are being asked out, accept.

Give them the time to see who you are, and allow yourself the time to get to know who they are. We cannot truly find this out in a group environment. Most people will hold back much about themselves. Ask yourself how much of yourself you reveal to a group of people - even the most trusted? Then why do you think the others will be so forthcoming? One-on-one time, over an extended period, is the only way this is going to happen.

Don't be afraid to find out it won't work. You'll learn so much more about yourself, and others. Who knows, it might work out.

Enjoy who they are, and know what you need for the relationship to work. That being said, don't expect the other person to fulfill your every need, because they can't.

Finally, I've been in two church groups where the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" approach has been the norm. Of ten marriages I have seen take place in this environment, four have divorced, and two more relatioships are in jeopardy because they are having affairs.

My observations are that this approach doesn't fair better or worse than so called "secular dating". If anything, I have seen many of these relationsips prosper and move on to happy marriages.

I believe this culture exists because we today are afraid of closeness. Afraid of emotional intimacy. We hide behind group settings to maintain the illusion of closeness. We busy ourselves out with things to do, work, and social events.

There are a million ways to get past our fears, and I encourage you to find your way. This book isn't it.

Find people who have a lot of wisdom. Get their opinions. Set boundaries. And if it looks good, take a chance, and know your limits. If you believe in God, then trust in him, and his ability to help you in your decisions.

I told a very happily-married friend of mine about this book, and he laughed and said, "GO SELL CRAZY SOMEWHERE ELSE, I AM ALL FULL UP HERE IN MY OWN LIFE." Couldn't of said it better myself!

Cheers, and God bless.


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