Rating:  Summary: No Need To Kiss Dating Good-bye! Review: This book was completely off-base. Although it didn't come right out and say if dating is a sin or not, it gave major implications that dating is very evil, suitable only for pagans! I am tired of Christians hypocritically focusing on the externals, such as dating, instead of the condition of the heart. If your heart is right and you seek fulfillment of your deepest needs in your Savior, then there is nothing wrong with dating, as long as it is with someone you would marry, and you leave them in better spiritual condition than you found them in. The issue is not dating, it is how you date. If your only focus is having fun, then there is nothing glorifying to God in the relationship. However, God does say in Genesis 2:24 that a man is to leave his parents and be united with one woman. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pure dating, and I regret that Josh Harris missed his mark entirely by rebuking dating as a whole. However, on the positive side, he did bring up some good points, and did have some wise insights, but overall, I think this sort of mindset tends to breed self-righteousness. Let us not be like the Pharisees, who focused completely on the external morals, instead of the heart. As Christians, we need to look less on the appearance, and ask God to search our hearts for any deep, hidden unrighteousness.
Rating:  Summary: Real Life Review: Books like this are why the general public views Christianityas a system of legalistic rules that have little connection to thereality of human life.Let's stipulate right away that the majority of opposite sex romantic relationships have wrong foundations. Too much emphasis is put on superficial characteristics, like raw physical beauty, popularity (among teenagers), etc. And most couples engage far too early in physical intimacy before an emotional connection has been established. This reduces the physical act of love to merely gratifying physical desires, rather than to deepening of the love bond. But I struggle with the conservative Christian insistence on total premarital chastity. Sex within marriage needs to be put in its proper context, but it is a very important part of the marital relationship. Think about it - sex, with its procreative and bonding functions, is what distinguishes marital relationships from the less intimate male/female friendships. Many Christians still subscribe to the anti-sex mentality that permeated most Christian churches until the last 20-30 years. Fortunately, many Christian pastors now understand that healthy sexuality is needed for most marriages to flourish. Conversely, an unsatisfactory sex life results in much marital misery, including many, many divorces and broken homes. Almost everyone believes that marriage partners should know each other well before deciding to get married. They should know each other's values, interests, family backgrounds, etc. (most churches require premarital counseling before their pastors will perform marriage ceremonies). Isn't it just as important to evaluate sexual compatibility when deciding on your lifemate? How else can anyone determine compatibility unless they are sexually intimate with their partner? I know that my comments will provoke outraged responses on this board, so let me make some things clear. Teenagers should not have sex; they are not emotionally ready for the consequences of sex, both good and bad. Adults should not casually have sex with multiple partners just to see who does it best (an empty activity that drains sex of its greatest satisfaction - bonding phyically and emotionally with someone you love). Talk to any counselor or pastor you know about how sexual problems can destroy marriages, and you'll get an earful. And these problems aren't solved just by praying about them (a close friend who is a Baptist minister told me he does almost no marital counseling for his congregation; he refers couples to trained therapists with far greater expertise than most pastors). My wife and I had sex before we were married (we both have only had one partner, each other). I wasn't a Christian then. But I still have never seen premarital sex explicitly forbidden (unlike adultery and prostitution) in the New Testament. In light of modern knowledge about the role sex plays in relationships, could it be that Christianity's historical aversion to premarital sex was based on first century cultural factors, rather than on express commands from God?
Rating:  Summary: I Kissed Dating Goodbye Review: Josh Harris uses a well-balanced blend of personal experience, the experiences of others, and Biblical thruth to competently bring his point across. As a 16 year old high school junior, I went into the book expecting to be bored to tears because of the "irrelevancy of the topic to my real life", but left with the notion that the points that Josh brings out were quite valid, as well as being ideas that I have used somewhat in my own life. I found Josh's use of Scripture to be inspired as well as a piercing testimony to the truth that he writes about. I strongly recommend this book to those parents who may be interested in having their children play an alternative "dating game" and are looking for insight into what that might be. I would also recommend it to those teens or young singles who are looking to be more glorifying to God as they look for what God has for them in the future, in the way of a spouse. An alternative to I Kissed Dating Goodbye, is a great book that has just come out called I Gave Dating a Chance. An obvious play on the title of Josh Harris's book, I Gave Dating a Chance is a thought-provoking piece on how young people can glorify God in a dating relationship without totally canning the whole dating scene entirely, as Josh Harris suggests. The author is a Colorado Springs-based youth pastor, by the name of Jeremy Clark, who also blends his personal experience, the experiences of others (partially through a survey of 1000 teens nationwide), and relevant Scripture into a book that is thought-provoking and fun to read.
Rating:  Summary: A good starting point Review: I've read the book at least three times. I developed a Sunday School based on it and taught it to a group of about 20 young adults. Some found it very good and some found it to be impractical. One thing it did do was create a lot of thought about where dating fits in the life of a believer. I've read a number of the negative reviews in this section and found that many obviously didn't understand the book (or probably didn't even read it). While the Harris book can be applied in a legalistic manner, I don't think that was Harris' intention. I used the book to talk about having a Christ-focused life. In this context, the single person has to ask, what role does dating play in my life? I think Harris brings out some very good principles about intimacy (not just sexual) and other elements of the consequences of dating. Who we are at the core (foundational to true intimacy) is truly reserved for God, and then for our future spouse. We should be stewards of this. It shouldn't just be given to anybody recklessly. Many of us spend our intimacy foolishly and then in marriage have little to give that is unique and special and that hasn't become common given to a number of people through a number of relationships. The book is a good starting point for a single believer as long as it is kept in the context of developing a Christ-focused life. It is weak in its lack of depth and stark black and white assertions. I imagine that as he gets older and grows in wisdom, Harris will be able to fine tune his thesis and present an argument that has greater weight. I applaud him for his insight and his contribution to the lives of many who want to have a Christ-focused life. To those who don't agree with the book...so what. Do as you wish, see where it takes you, and if you gain any insight and grow in Christ, write your own book. I am amazed at the many who critisize the book as if Harris crashed into their homes and forced them to change their lives at gun point.
Rating:  Summary: I Kissed Dating Goodbye Review: This book was well written by a young man who has eperienced the often painful art of dating. I found the book to be funny at times and very truthful. I believe that Christians should trust their heavenly Father enough to allow Him to choose their lifetime partner. By racing ahead and trying a smorgasboard of relationships will only produces an Ishmael in our lives, but if we are willing to wait and let Christ bring a Rachel or a Joseph into our life then we will produce an Issac. Racing ahead of God tends to create greater problems. We need not let society dictate the so called dating game to us, dating does not fill the gap in peoples lives only Christ can do that. Put Him first and He will add all the riches of heaven to His people, including the perfect lifetime partner. Put Christ second and we will fall into a heap. Young people do not need to have a closet filled with skeletons of past relationships.
Rating:  Summary: Makes You Struggle and Think About What You Read Review: I've just bought this book again because I lost the first copy. When I read this book the first time, I really struggled with it. I am now reading this book a second time, and I'm still struggling! Any book that does not cause you to struggle and think about what you read, is not a book that's worth reading. I am 20, going on 21. I've been searching for so long for a book written for teens from a Christian perspective. Every teen should read this book! It'll definitely be a valuable learning experience!
Rating:  Summary: My thoughts about the book... Review: The book was great! Joshua Harris said what many were too afraid to say. I was one who never dated. I never had a boyfriend. It just seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I could never get one. What seeminly was a curse for my sophmore and junior year in highschool, I found to be a blessing in disquise, a year later. My youth pastor did a series called, "preperation for presentation to a king", which discussed and talked about alot of dating issues and standards of single living. Many of the principles were based on the principles that Joshua Harris discussed in this book. Despite the fact, that it wasn't until my sophmore year in college, that I read his book, I was encouraged and found streghth from reading it and applying the principles set for single saint living. I no longer looked at my singleness as a curse but a tremendous blessing instead. Ironically enough, when I made the decision that I was going to, (along with the help of the Holy Spirit),make the most out of my life as a single person, guys seemed to flock like hungry and thirsty prey. In the face of temptation to compromise the standards newly instilled in my new found life as a single young woman, I maintained emotional and social integrity, through committedly, looking at those "preying" prospects as brothers in Christ who needed my support of encouragement and prayer ministered through healthy friendship. I realize now that any sacrifice I make to maintain those standards as a single woman in order to be and actively be built by God into the woman of God, sister, and wife that my husband will need me to be, is nothing compared to the blessings I will recieve from walking along side a man of God who has maintained equal integrity, to fullfill our call as lifetime covenant partners...
Rating:  Summary: Guys beware........ Review: Song of Solomon - yes I Kissed Dating Goodbye - NO The fact that this book is in so many young ladies' hands is truly scary. Guys, if your girlfriend is reading this book, go ahead and break up, its inevitable. I've learned from experience, that Mr. Harris is so brilliant and us normal guys dont compare to his outlandish thoughts.
Rating:  Summary: This book should be read in context Review: IKDG is a wonderful book, but I understand completely how it can be viewed as frustrating, full of nonsense, and irrelevant. Of course it is! Harris talks about dating, a very grey area, whether discussed in youth groups, bars, or around dining room tables. When I first read the book, I struggled with some of his philosophies. My friends and I would debate the possiblity of two friends moving from group friendships to a marriage-focused "courtship." In today's world it just didn't seem realistic, and many readers would agree. Yet, finally, I got it. Joshua Harris wrote the book for people who truly wanted a strong relationship with God, THE lover of our souls. The people who agree with this book have realized that a relationship with Him is the only way anything romantic would ever seem fulfilling. I know, that sounds like everyone who doesn't like Harris' message isn't a strong Christian. I don't mean it that way, but if you realize just how much God loves you, if you go beyond trite Sunday School statements and the tune to "Jesus Loves Me" that drifts in and out of your head with time, Harris's message makes so much sense. There are moments when it doesn't seem practical, but if you truly realize that God is in control, that He sees the desires of your heart, waiting is not an issue. I didn't realize that when I first read IKDG, but now I do. Even if I'm 65 when I first walk down the altar, if I can wake up each morning between now and then and say "Lord, I love you. Remind me that You have a plan and a future for me," then yes, I can and will wait. "Single Gal" in Boston wrote that IKDG doesn't really apply to 30-somethings. Doesn't it? Certainly circumstances will be different--they will be in high school, college, or in the 9-5 life. But at every stage of life God is there! It seems as though the people who dislike IKDG can't give up dating. I thought I couldn't. But if our Lover looks us in the eye and says, "I love you, I want you, come to ME," can we ignore Him for the sake of a dating relationship? Ah, well, these are my thoughts. I recommend that anyone, before reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye, pick up a Bible first and read Song of Solomen as a love letter from God to His Bride. Then go through Joshua Harris' book with an open mind, but more importantly, an open heart.
Rating:  Summary: This is a MUST read! Review: Joshua Harris has written a book that is long overdue. He examines dating without coming off overbearing or preaching at the reader. It is a wonderful book for anyone who has or has had questions about dating and how to incorporate it into a Christan lifestyle. However, what I found most helpful, was the section on regrets in dating and how to start fresh once you've had relationships that didn't work. This book is probably one of the best I've ever seen or read on the subject and would be helpful to anyone.
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