Rating:  Summary: This book is good Review: I have read several hundred books on the subject and this is as good as the rest. The issue being in the end that neither courtship nor dating are biblical and anything you do short of arranged marriage should be up to your family. The Bible seems to teach that marriage is a huge choice and that your parents need to be involved. I think that courtship is the way to best do this in America and this is a good book to introduce that topic. If you want to get deep in the subject...this book is not the one for you.
Rating:  Summary: Good but not great Review: Joshua Harris did a wonderful job with this book, but I don't really think i will follow it. He did a great job in saying that we need to date when we are looking for the "right one", but yet it seems pretty hard. I know we have to put everything in God's hands because he is the one thats in-charge. He knows whats best for us, but i'm still young and i'm not ready to settle down so I still believe in dating but just not to the extreme.
Rating:  Summary: A Review of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Review: Ah yes, the book that sparked all of the controversy.Why have there have been many personal attacks given between Christians as a result of this book? Are we not supposed to use "gentleness" to correct those in opposition [2 Timothy 2:25]? I know Mr. Harris has already says he agrees with this in his book, but I believe his language tells otherwise. He consistently refers to anyone who disagrees with his conclusions as infiltrated with "our culture," "selfish," and "not trusting in God." Hence, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" [hereafter IKDG] is not a "nice" book, and hence, neither is the conversation it arouses. The vast majority of IKDG's argumentation goes like this: All selfish people want something for themselves. Person A wants something for himself Therefore, person A is selfish Obviously, the only way this will work is if ONLY selfish people want something for themselves. For instance, all cats are animals, and deer is an animal, but that doesn't make a cat a deer! However, I must note in passing that relationships can be selfish. However, one cannot use this as a basis for judging it as such. Another logical fallacy occurs when he asks "If another person's body doesn't belong to us, (that is, we're not married), what right do we have to treat that person any differently than a married person would treat someone who wasn't his or her spouse?" Harris then proceeds to mock the answer that the two are not the same. However, he has not considered this possibility. Within the context of marriage, all of a man's sexual desires are to be for his wife [cf. Song of Songs 7:10]. However, IKDG does not produce one verse that says the same thing of the unmarried man. Second, Harris was 21 when he wrote this book and therefore the book is infiltrated with immaturity both in Biblical interpretation and, as we have already seen, in logic. When I first picked up IKDG, I was struck by the half-hearted exegetical skills and the nasty, fowl language displayed by the author. After seeing this, it was clear to me that this was not a serious book. Granted, it has been revised, but much of the immaturity is still there. Harris is very good at using stories to get the attention of his audience. However, it is not until those stories have been told that he actually goes to the scriptures. However, by this time the reader can be so emotionally driven that he can ignore sound principles of Biblical Exegesis and allow the story to interpret the scripture rather than vice versa. This is why sound exegesis is so important when reading his books. You cannot just assume that it is the "obvious" meaning of the text. Be aware that it may seem obvious because you are not being careful! Here are some examples. First, Harris tries to prove that singleness is a gift using 1 Corinthians 7:32. The problem is that he has ignored verse 26, which gives the proper context. Paul is addressing a particular issue in the church in Corinth, that is, marriage during a "distress." Should people get married even though this distress marriage might cause them to distract time away from God? Paul is giving his council on this question. Also, he quoted and yet completely ignored the verse that completely refutes his position, Genesis 2:18! What is worse is that he turns Ecclesiastes 3 into a passage teaching situation ethics. If the reader will look at the context [exp. vrs. 1, 9-11] he will find that this is talking about the sovereignty of God in the events of the world. That is that it is God who brings about all things that happen in it's proper time with the result that everything is beautiful. However, Harris' interpretation turns the text on it's head and makes it say that it is man who controls the events in history, and it can be good or bad depending on whether or not man has done it in the proper season. Furthermore, one wonders how in the world Harris gets his interpretations of 1 Thessalonians 4:6 [saying that arousing desires one cannot satisfy is called defrauding your brother], Hebrews 13:4 [saying that not honoring the sacredness of marriage is what people do when they hug and kiss outside of marriage], and 2 Samuel 11:1. 1 Thessalonians 4:6 is speaking about sexual sin, as is Hebrews 13:4. How is it that "not being where you are supposed to be," that is, not doing what God has called us to do not blatant sin? Furthermore, the book of Proverbs consistently contrasts the lazy with the upright. Hence, how could David have not "crossed the line" already? Also, Harris assumes that the adulteress in Proverbs 7 symbolizes impurity and compromise. 2:17 and 6:27-29 all describe adultery not "impurity and compromise," and one is left wondering where Harris got the basis for this assertion. All of this being said, IKDG does not provide a "New Attitude" as many of IKDG's views are drawn straight from Elizabeth Elliot. I think that this is much of Harris' error. He is interpreting the scriptures through what he has always been taught. This is why Christians need to be careful to handle the word of God with care, and not allow our traditions to get in the way.
Rating:  Summary: The wonder of dating (courtship) Review: I read this book a couple years ago, when I was first getting acquainted with the idea of courtship, and with the problems of promiscuous dating. I had read the advice of some really extreme courtship folks (betrothal folks, I should say), and I had heard a few nice courtship stories. "Look how great and beautifully courtship worked for us. It'll work for you too! Just wait for God's best. Someday you also will be able to tell a story that will make your daughters go googly-eyed, a tale of breathtaking beauty and emotional monogamy. Make a covenant with your eyes: don't look at a woman until you get married. In fact, it's best if you don't even talk to a woman till then, or at least as little as possible. Your wife will honor, respect, and love you so much more if you don't comment on her beauty or inescapable attraction until that first tingling, connubial kiss--she'll know you're saving your praise for the many years of wedded bliss. It's, like, an irresistible turn-on, knowing that you have this hidden cache of golden compliments just waiting for her. I mean, you wouldn't want to break her heart by unearthing them before you should. That might be ugly. Her Dad might break your kneecaps. He *should*." *cough* Ahem. Such is the idea of courtship that many people have, and that I held to, in a little more favorable light. The way a lot of folks express courtship, there seems to be no legitimate joy in relating with a person who has different organs than you. The light-headed sensation when you talk to a girl and notice how beautiful she is, that curiously exquisite tilt to her smile, and the laugh that sounds like angels' harps, as musically incorrect as that may be. The delightfully incongrous things she says from time to time, and the jaw-dropping common sense and wisdom that emerges a minute later. The way she notices and delights in the tiniest, most trivial, even the most annoying characteristics of your dialog or manner of life. The almost imperceptible difference between idiosyncrasy and idol, between fault and fascination, between chafe and charm. Male-female relations are rife with mystery and wonder, but the way some people describe it, enjoying the mystery is the same as embracing wickedness. Sweetness becomes sin, and it's no wonder people still want to date. The relationships may not last, but at least they're happy while they do. Break my heart please--it's better than the alternative. What I liked about I Kissed Dating Goodbye was that Josh Harris preserved the wonder of courtship, while still pointing out the dangers of promiscuity in dating. He affirmed the legitimate joy and curiosity that guy-girl relations will inevitably engender, and yet he pointed out that reckless abandon to this curiosity, as characterizes much of the dating scene these days, is wrongheaded and dangerous. He explained that dating simply to get those good old romantic butterflies beating their wings in your stomach is just selfishness; and yet he recognized that the butterflies were planted there by God, and their fluttering really is a righteous thing to enjoy. He delves into why dark living rooms and secluded parking lots are rather foolish places to get weak in the knees; yet he also celebrates this mysterious, God-ordained connection between feminine charm and shaky knees. Josh gave all the necessary reasons why dating (or courtship--the term used doesn't matter; responsibility is the point) should be kissed goodbye, and yet he didn't leave romantic happiness behind at the door. I liked I Kissed Dating Goodbye because the way Josh Harris painted the premarital picture, it looked more like Rembrandt and less like Pollock, a pleasant escape from some of the other courtship material I had read.
Rating:  Summary: Wrong premise, wrong conclusion Review: Harris seems to have a great heart and passion in this book. Unfortunately, when one writes from a wrong foundation of both biblical and personal contexts, one always arrives at the wrong conclusion. Biblically, Harris butchers texts...personally, he had bad dating experiences, thus dating is bad. Dating - this is a word...courtship - this is a word. Between these two, is there a more godly word? He says courtship. Chapter and verse for support? None. Let God's perspective on relationships be our basis and not someone who is speaking from the context of bad dating experiences. For a great read, get "I gave Dating a Chance" by Jeremy Clark. Thankfully, for santification, Harris has grown. His new book "Not even a hint" is worth the read.
Rating:  Summary: Some good points, but... Review: I've read this book 3 times and I'm still not convinced that not dating is the way to go, at least not for everyone. If you want to read a good book on relationships, my recommendation would be "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It's a great book and not at all "preachy."
Rating:  Summary: He means well, but he's pretty misguided Review: I read this book a few years ago, backed out of the early stages of a relationship, but shortly after got involved with a girl I've now been with for several years. His book applies to the Christian teenager who likes to jump from relationship to relationship constantly and has no serious intent in ever getting married. He comes across as being incredibly strict, which I found to be unrealistic and unnecessary. If you are finding all your dating relationships to be wastes of time, this may be for you. If not, this book will only needlessly discourage you.
Rating:  Summary: A missguiding zealot Review: Harris is by far one of the worst modern Zealots I have ever come across. Time after time in this book he ripped scripture so far out of context to serve a far reaching point, that I couldn't believe any God-seeking person would take it seriously. I was convinced to read this by a girl I liked and after finishing I told her and everyone else who swallowed this blasphemous message that I would take no part in pushing the church away from reason and truth. I strongly recomend for all to find answers about dating and love from personal experience and faith rather than following this fool. God bless.
Rating:  Summary: Not A Fan . . . Review: Joshua Harris has some interesting things to say about dating and relationships. The background he is coming from is credible and he has obviously had some great experience with his theory. But I think it is very extreme and would be hard to implement in normal life; furthermore, I believe that the goal of his theory on dating (honoring God in relationships, forming a foundation for healthy and holy marriages) can be attained through other, less drastic methods. But it is an interesting read and it might be helpful to understand his point of view.
Rating:  Summary: I don't know.... Review: This book scared me. Experience truly is the best teacher. Just because one man felt that this was what God wanted him to do, doesn't mean that everyone should do it. This stuff can brianwash you, please think for yourself always. A lot of what this book says will make sense to you, but that doesn't make it right. Dating is a part of life, and getting hurt strengthens us all! Please be careful, everyone.
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