Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: Most helpful Review: After my wife's death, I needed help badly in coping with the loss and read several highly recommended books dealing with grief. They all helped to some degree. I had become acquainted with Gerald Sittser by reading one of his newer books "The Will of God as a Way of Life". It was a tremendous help to both my wife and I by helping to guide us through her fatal illness. I noted that an earlier book by the author was listed on the title page, and bought it.
"A Grace Disguised" has been the most helpful book I have read to help me cope with and better understand my grief. Gerald Sittser writes from the perspective of one who has personally experienced almost unspeakable tragedy. He has lived through all the emotions of tremendous loss and counsels with his intelectual knowledge blended with speaking directly from his heart.
I highly recommend it, and better yet, I recommend reading both books.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: One of, if not THE most, profound book I have ever read. Review: A Grace Disguised is a true story about enormous loss, how one man is grappling with it and the wisdom he has gained through it. While driving with his family on a dark road one night in North Dakota, the author and his family were in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. Gerald Sittser stood by elplessly as he watched his mother, his wife and his four-year-old daughter die. At the same time his two-year-old son was seriously injured, and his other two daughers were coping with the shock of what had happened. Sittster eloquently and openly shares his enormous loss as well as his journey and growth through the overwhelming devastation of his life. An associate professor of religion at Whittier College in Spokane, Washington, Sittser brings his Biblical world view to what happened to him and his family. A Grace Disguised -- How to Grow the Soul Through Loss -- opens up many eternal mysteries about suffering. A must read for ANY and EVERYone.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: best, most insightful book on grief I've ever read Review: As a nurse, I work with many families who suffer tragic loss. Mr. Sittser's book is the best I've ever read. Don't expect to read it in one sitting. It is very deep and wise and thought-provoking. It's the type of book you could read three or four times and still learn something new each time. Thank you Mr. Sittser for sharing your tremendous insight with us.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: Reading/sharing the author's loss and seeing his growth. Review: As you read the first chapters you meet the author's tragedy head on. POW! The following chapters describe a process of growth and realization, that was equally as powerful. The most important point is seeing that loss, someone else's loss is neither worse or less awful than another loss, it is different.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: A must read for anyone who has experienced loss!! Review: Gerald Sittser has written one of the best treatments on how to respond to any significant loss that happens in life. He is clear to point out that living brings with it suffering. Life includes both sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure. A person must learn to live with both. How we respond to the our pain is a choice that we must make. He carefully and gracefully reveals how a person can embrace the pain and grow from the experience regardless of how tragic the event. As we embrace the pain and learn to live with whatever has brought the pain by the grace of God, we will become whole people once again.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: A must read for anyone who has experienced loss!! Review: Gerald Sittser has written one of the best treatments on how to respond to any significant loss that happens in life. He is clear to point out that living brings with it suffering. Life includes both sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure. A person must learn to live with both. How we respond to the our pain is a choice that we must make. He carefully and gracefully reveals how a person can embrace the pain and grow from the experience regardless of how tragic the event. As we embrace the pain and learn to live with whatever has brought the pain by the grace of God, we will become whole people once again.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: Hope for Healing Review: Gerald Sittser's book is among the best I have ever read for those who are struggling with a great loss in life. He speaks from terrible experience. He lost his wife, mother and a daughter in a single automobile accident. From is own experience of the pain and suffering that follows he draws out a meaningful perspective applicable to the universal experience of human suffering. Without diminishing the pain and evil that suffering inflicts and represents, Sittser helps us make sense of suffering in the context of the Christian faith. He does so with honesty and clarity. Suffering can provide an opportunity for spiritual growth and strengthening of character. We all have that choice available to us. Sittser rejects the notion of "recovery" from catastrophic loss. Such a loss can not be recovered from if that means that we will be the same as before. We will never get over it. Instead, following Victor Frankl's example, he insists that we must find some meaning in suffering. Our souls must be enlarged by it to help us transcend the experience and integrate it into our lives if we are not to be crushed by it instead. He is an able guide to the avenue that the Christian faith provides for this. The book has a good chapter on the futility of comparing one person's loss to another. He shows that there is no point in deciding whose serious, irretrievable loss is worse than another's. Each experience of loss is unique because each person is unique. Sittser doesn't minimize the problems that Christian faith presents in suffering. He has been through the dark tunnel of wondering why this accident happened to him and what God's interest, or lack thereof, is in his suffering. He has experienced the agony of loneliness and separation from a God who seems uncaring or unable to ease his pain. We may know in our minds that our perspective must be severely limited compared to God's but it is very hard to continue trusting Him as we thought we did before, believing that somehow God will bring us out into the light again someday. He examines the alternatives to faith and finds them wanting. If there is no God, can there be any meaning in life itself let alone meaning in a life of suffering? Would we really rather live in a world where everyone gets exactly what they deserve, good or bad, a world with no pain, but also no grace? What bearing does God's suffering as Christ on the cross have on our experience? What does it really mean to have faith in God? There are no simple answers, but considering the questions honestly can challenge our preconceived notions. It's a risk worth taking. Sittser has found, as have many others, that there is undeniable grace given by God to those who trust Him in their suffering, a remolding of our character for good in response to the evil of our experience. While we would be fools to seek suffering for whatever good may come of it, it is hard for many to deny that, if the suffering had not come, they would probably not have experienced the works of grace they now find so valuable. There is also a chapter on forgiveness. As in Sittser's case, there are often particular people whose actions are responsible for our loss. Forgiveness is a hard pill to swallow, if only it were a pill. But withholding it will prevent our own healing. It's helpful to know what forgiveness means and doesn't mean. It doesn't mean condoning the act. It doesn't mean the act should go unpunished. It doesn't mean forgetting it happened. It means that we stop wishing evil for those who have harmed us and instead desire their good. It isn't a process that culminates in a final result or a once-and-for-all event. Once it has been decided upon, forgiving is a continuous frame of mind and an occasionally renewed activity. Through forgiveness, we have the power to end the cycle of hurt. We can choose to have it stop with us, not letting it infect others through us. Through all his suffering, Gerald Sittser has found that "life has the final word", not death and despair. We don't always get the life we want, but we can find that there is much more to life than what we want and a life beyond this life that exceeds our greatest desires. Our suffering can also help us to help others who suffer. It can provide opportunity for others to share our suffering in love. It's common for many people to offer much needed and sincere support for the victims of loss immediately following the incident. Most of these people understandably try to get back to their own "lives as usual" soon afterward. It was very heartening to read about the people who went further in Sittser's case. Those who decided that their lives would also be changed by his tragedy formed a community of love and support that was good for the long haul. What a blessing.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: This guy really gets it! Review: Gerald Sittser's gifted eloquence speaks for my soul. As a mother who had to relinquish a child to God, I have experienced so much that he describes but could have never penned the words. I often described my own grief journey as learning to paint a new normal, a new picture of my life, beginning with a new canvas--and he described his own journey using the exact analogy. This is a must-read for those who are stuck in their grief and do not realize that God is the original "recycler" Who will turn suffering and pain into a masterpiece. The reward is a richer life, even without those you love.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: Window to My Soul Review: Gerald Sittser's gifted eloquence speaks for my soul. As a mother who had to relinquish a child to God, I have experienced so much that he describes but could have never penned the words. I often described my own grief journey as learning to paint a new normal, a new picture of my life, beginning with a new canvas--and he described his own journey using the exact analogy. This is a must-read for those who are stuck in their grief and do not realize that God is the original "recycler" Who will turn suffering and pain into a masterpiece. The reward is a richer life, even without those you love.
Rating: ![5 stars](http://www.reviewfocus.com/images/stars-5-0.gif) Summary: A must read book for healthy living (physical and emotional) Review: Having lost a son in a tragic accident, my mother's death and a daughter diagnosed with cancer (preceded by the death of a daughter 17 years ago) within a two month period, I found this book to be a remarkable source of comfort and strength. This book tops the list!!
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