Against the Dying of the Light: A Father's Journey Through Loss

Rating:
Summary: Parent's Worst Nightmare Relived
Review:  Leonard Fein's book, Against the Dying of the Light, A Father's Journey through Loss is a realistic,no frills account of a parent's worst nightmare. With poetic prose, the author takes us on his journey since losing his daughter, a young Mother whose sudden death left her husband, family and friends bereft, and his 16 month old granddaughter without her Mother. Throughout the journey he shares his pain, his struggles in trying to cope with his loss, his memories, his hopes for the future of his granddaughter, his heritage, and his love.

If asked to describe the book in a few words, I would say it is a love story: a love story written about his daughter Nomi, but also about his other children, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law, his friends, his basic values, and his tradition. It is a story of shared love with all of these people, and both the depth and quality of his feelings about them and everything in his life about which he cares, come across in the beauty of his writing.

While "deeply personal" as the author himself suggests, this story of a father's painful loss of his daughter moves the reader from the personal to the universal, from Nomi's death to her life, from the agony of the initial horror of her dying, to the ultimate acceptance of her death as a reality. At no time does the author come to terms with his daughter's death as "acceptable": over time, he does, however, come to terms with her death as fact.

Does he give the reader consolation? Does he have answers that make the reader feel better? Does it all come out okay? I don't think so. What we are left with, however, is the simple, basic truth that most of us already know, but do not always practice: that we must value everyday and every experience, and that we must let those we love know how valued, loved, and important they are to us not just once in awhile, but all the time. The saving grace in the book for me was that the author did that. Through quoted letters and comments of others, he is able to share with the reader that this beautiful young woman, his daughter, knew how loved and cherished she was, that they did in fact share many special times together and they valued those times as they happened. The fact is also shared that in her short life, Nomi made a difference. Her presence on this earth was viewed as a great gift by those who knew her. There must be small comfort in that knowledge, but comfort it is nonetheless.

Against the Dying of the Light is a good read. It is a quick read, an emotional read, a poignant read, and a beautifully written read as well. It will have an honored place on my book shelf.

Book Review written by: Lois S. Shenker 3340 S. W. Stonebrook Drive Portland, OR 97201 503-245-0018 e-mail [e-mail]

Rating:
Summary: Touched my Soul
Review: I picked up Fein's book yesterday at the library and sat for an hour reading it without putting it down. Although I was familiar with Fein's writings within the Jewish community, I didn't know anything about him personally. I thank him for writing such a deeply personal story about such a tragic loss. I feel sorrow for his and his family/friends' loss, but also for all of those who never had the opportunity to know his daughter.

Rating:
Summary: A personal loss deeply and movingly universal
Review: The image evoked by the words on Nomi's gravestone led me into long ruminations about the ways to comprehend, and ultimatly tranform the sadness of, the death of a young life. How many of us have warded off the searing emotion of imagining the loss of a child? This is Fein's personal story as he tries to cope with his loss, honor his daughter's memory, and move foward with his life forever altered. The book is filled with a personal wisdom that is both deeply philosophical and searingly personal. To read this book is to vacillate between crying one's own tears for the loss of Nomi and being inpired by her own unique and powerful spark. The book is Fein's personal journey, but the story he tells is deeply and movingly universal.