The Father and the Son: My Father's Journey into the Monastic Life

Rating:
Summary: A moving account of an everyday family dealing with change
Review: I am an agnostic and usually don't have much patience for books about religion/faith. But Matt's book was wry, sad and well researched, making it a compelling read. The chapters about his mother were moving and honest. Actually honesty about memories that at times must have been painful is one of the most redeeming qualities of this book. I would strongly recommend this book as a vivid recollection/recreation of the changes that could happen in any American family.

And in the interest of full disclosure I have known the author for about six years. He is a colleague at The Wall Street Journal and a very good friend.

Rating:
Summary: the father and the son
Review: I could not put the book down. It was a great story, well written, and fascinating. Matt's writing is cameralike and I felt like I was there in many of the episodes he describes. I loved his honest portrayal of his bratty self as an adolescent, and his parlay back and forth of his take on things, and then the opinions of others. I liked it as a story alone, but it is a great study of family life, religious conversion, and the relationships of parent and child. I am a mother of four sons and I was especially moved by the journal entrys of Michele, and the person they evoked.

Rating:
Summary: Honesty, insight and wit on a journey of self-discovery
Review: I knew Matt Murray in graduate school through mutual friends and was vaguely aware at the time that his father had become a monk. I picked up his book mainly out of curiosity, and a little skepticism, to see if someone I'd known as a college kid could actually be a talented writer.

Murray is, indeed, a talented writer, and "The Father and the Son" is a fascinating tale, well-told. It speaks to the relationship between all parents and children: to parents' daunting realization that properly nurturing a child demands almost total sacrifice of self; to children's need to wholly possess their parents in order to feel truly loved. Even in the best circumstances, we can never fully meet our own and our children's needs and can only hope for resilience and forgiveness. Add in a few layers of loss and disappointment, and the task becomes even more complicated. A deep but distant love can't erase all the old hurts, but it does at least beg their forgiveness. At the end of Murray's story, I could do nothing but weep.

It is, perhaps, not surprising that this memoir reveals so much about its author and at the same time so little. A writer's skill, a lonely child's protective mechanism. Murray undoubtedly has other tales he could tell about himself and his family, but the one he has given us is a gem.

Rating:
Summary: A careful exploration
Review: The Father and the Son easily guides the reader through a difficult journey: the restless parent. Aren't they supposed to stay themselves, the parent we knew, after age 30? Imagine figuring out your own religion or lack thereof, when your model keeps changing. Murray does a great job of making it clear just how strange it was to see his father's clarion call unfold, and remain a part of his new life. It ain't over 'til it's over, people.

Rating:
Summary: A history of familial depression
Review: The Father and the Son is a compelling, lively narrative that addresses universal issues of faith, self-discovery, and parent-child relationships. Through Murray's eyes, we see his father's journey from being a husband, father, and civil servant to becoming a monk and a priest. More important, we come to understand that transformation. Murray describes his reaction to that journey with humor, warmth, and, at times, a reporter's skepticism.

Rating:
Summary: An engaging narrative, balancing reality and compassion.
Review: The Father and the Son is a true and complicated story. Matt has done an extraordinary job sharing his father's singular life, portraying a loving but lonely man evolving over time. The writing is unique, blending a reporter's precision with a collection of voices, ranging from compassionate to sarcastic. Matt traces his father's path from childhood to priesthood, following him through a series of families. The story is often sad and poignant, as a loving son watches his father move on to a new, monastic family. The story is also uplifting, as we gradually appreciate that his father made the right choice, finding fulfillment and peace after a long journey.

As an atheist, I was not prepared to appreciate Father James' calling. However, no religious conviction is required - the author himself has wavering beliefs. The portrayal of his father's struggle is compelling, and the resolution of his journey is gratifying, regardless of the reader's (or the author's) personal views. The final chapter is touching and remarkable.

I believe this book will appeal to many people, regardless of faith or family history. However, it had special meaning for me. Matt and I became best friends in second grade, and we remain close today. For over a decade, I spent most every day (and many nights) in Jim Murray's house. He took us to countless movies, to amusement parks, and to far-away places. He took me on my first plane trip (to Disney World). He took us to Niagara Falls.

I loved Jim Murray like my own father, and later found him equally baffling. Matt and I were best friends during his slow conversion. When Jim sold the house, I spent the day helping them move to a new apartment. When Matt was alone for his first Thanksgiving in college, I went to Evanston. We drove to the monastery to see his dad. The day that Matt's column appeared in the Wall Street Journal, first describing his father's life, Matt was an usher in my wedding. For me, this book was a bittersweet memoir. For other readers, I believe it will be a fascinating and moving story.

Rating:
Summary: A disappointment
Review: The premise behind Murray's book is certainly a fascinating one. The problem I had is that he never bothers to dig very far into the psychology of the father, never offers us more than a hazy, opaque figure at the center of the story. The father's thoughts, feeling and motivations remain unexplored, as if the author were reluctant to poke around too much into the man's private world. He thus remains more an archetype than a fully rounded human being. I'm afraid I have to agree with the Boston Globe, which said of the book: "It's an awkward story, awkwardly told. Not only do the multiple viewpoints pose a problem, but so does Murray's palpable unease with the subject, and a cliche-soaked style that frequently plummets into bathos and self-dramatizing."

Rating:
Summary: A Tale of Two Journeys
Review: This book could be retitled "How I Coped With My Father's Journey to Monastic Life." Matt Murray recounts the mysterious story of his father's conversion and his own efforts to be fathered effectively after the death of his mother. This is an engaging account of two lost souls and how they eventually came to understand one another, or, at least, how Matt came to terms with his father's spiritual oddyssey. It is an engaging story for spiritual seekers or for anyone who is interested in the narrative of familial dysfunction ultimately redeemed.
The only reservation I would have is that his use of churchly vocabulary is at times faulty. For example, he refers
to a Franciscan monastery in Virginia. Those in that loop will recognize the description as that of the Trappist abbey in Berryville.

Rating:
Summary: A Tale of Two Journeys
Review: This book could well be retitled, "How I Coped With My Father's Journey into Monastic Life." Matt Murray's account of his father's life, culminating in his entry into a monastery, moved me very deeply. His father's conversion story and his seeking of a new way of life are parallelled by the story of the author's consternation and his seeking to be fathered adequately after the death of his mother. At times Murray delivers brutal honesty without bitterness. He is respectful of his father's spiritual oddyssey, but not really empathetic. His efforts to reconcile his own emotional woundedness with his father's search for peace
are admirable.
This book is beautifully written and engaging. My only reservation would be that his vocabulary for churchly things is occasionally faulty. (For example, he refers to a monastery in Virginia as "Franciscan"; people in that loop will recognize the description as that of a Trappist abbey in Berryville.)

Rating:
Summary: A Tale of Two Journeys
Review: This book could well be retitled, "How I Coped With My Father's Journey into Monastic Life." Matt Murray's account of his father's life, culminating in his entry into a monastery, moved me very deeply. His father's conversion story and his seeking of a new way of life are parallelled by the story of the author's consternation and his seeking to be fathered adequately after the death of his mother. At times Murray delivers brutal honesty without bitterness. He is respectful of his father's spiritual oddyssey, but not really empathetic. His efforts to reconcile his own emotional woundedness with his father's search for peace
are admirable.
This book is beautifully written and engaging. My only reservation would be that his vocabulary for churchly things is occasionally faulty. (For example, he refers to a monastery in Virginia as "Franciscan"; people in that loop will recognize the description as that of a Trappist abbey in Berryville.)